Do Looks Really Matter?

[moffeltoff]

As Rich says, further towards what? Anything that requires me to be something I'm not isn't worth the pursuit.

Well you can be yourself even if you are a selfish ******* even a nice guy can easily become one without not beeing himself its all a question of adapting.

[Reiku]

Of course looks matter, they aren't everything--and when you're in a relationship they can eventually come to mean almost nothing--but they do matter.

I get sick of all these people saying "looks don't matter, it's just a media lie" and then citing as an example a relationship they had with someone who was "only average"--can you honestly tell me it would have been the same if they were fargin repulsive instead of average?

Of course not. Looks aren't everything, so a person with a deficiency in the physical department can make it up with charm and personality, and likewise a smoking body isn't enough if you've got the personality of a blow-up doll--but all these things matter.

...unless you're blind or something. XD

Physical attractiveness isn't just media hype--it's instinctual, an inborn process of selecting a suitible mate for procreation. Granted, alot of what is considered "beautiful" is manufactured these days, so by the time you're an adult you're veiws on physical attractiveness can be significantly altered by social conditioning--but even if none of that was there we would still have an instinctive sense of what was and was not attractive.

Even in long term relationships where beauty has ceased to matter, how the person looks is still important. If you're wife or husband of 30 years came home one day and looked like someone completely different--not more or less atractive, just like a different person--can you honestly say it wouldn't make a difference?

Of course it would, we come to recognize the person we love visually--however they look becomes "beautiful" to us over time, but if they suddenly looked like someone else it would be hard to ignore your senses telling you that it wasn't them.

The idea that "looks don't matter" is every bit as much propaganda as the idea that looks do matter--the propganda just comes from different camps.

Ultimately it's the complete package that makes--or breaks--the deal, not any one feature.

[Abbott]

good question.look DO NOT matter in the sense that if you fall in love with someone you're only going to have eyes for them anyway.looks DO matter in the sense that when you fall in love and you only have eyes for them that you realize they're total eye candy! you have to realize, you might be a perfectionist..there is someone out there for everyone as everyone in the world has different tastes..someone might have a thing for tattoos, or scars, another for smooth perfect skin..someone else might go for short guys, another for super-tall. you're unique-and that's why someone will fall for you. all YOU have to do is enjoy it.

however, the key point here that i'm sensing is that you're not loving yourself-if you think you're slightly overweight-and this is one of the things you mention bout your whole self in two lines, then i'm guessing that youre probably weighing yourself down with guilt and negativitiy as well. could that be stopping you from going out and living a better life? if so, just see if you can lose that bit of weight you think makes you look bad..you will feel so much better-emotionally, and physically.

[Minty]

I had a conversation with my South Korean girlfriend once about this topic.

She often mentions that the clothes here are so plain, too mature looking, and that there are so few clothes for young people.

Then she made a comment about my clothes, which are often grey or black and very simple. Nevertheless there are still so many guys going after me.

I laughed and told her that in western countries people don't go into that much effort to dress up unlike in South Korea or Japan. She told me that if I were to go to Korea for vacation I would discover that people would make lots of effort to dress up very beautifully over there! Mum later told me that in all of the East Asian countries girls need to dress up very well to attract guys!

I continued to express my point of view and told her that, if all that people cared about were fancy clothes then the young people here wouldn't go on dates and have relationships.

I think she watches too much television, television isn’t real!

I believe Physical attraction is more about the person rather than her clothes. After all in the end the guy just wants to see you naked. Some like boobs, thigh, butt or even feet!

They don't care about clothes, it is mostly the girls who do, or she has this impression because of the fashion magazines she has been reading!

Yes compare to Japan or Korea it is true people here wear much simpler clothes. However, seriously compare to Perth or other cities in Australia I had always thought that the clothes here were of wide selections.

This is not the case anymore because of what people who come from metropolis cities have been telling me.

So I guess looks matter but they are only one part of the picture!

[Cambrius (The Red)]

Looks always mater, to some extent.

[Ameroman]

Yes, indeed they do says scientific research. I would link you to sciencedaily if i could. There was one article that suggested teachers favored the better looking children. There was some other stuff on there too that was pretty damning

[Ameroman]

I also think that people may respond differently based on how much initial impressions count with them. See, I am not a believer in the idea that the first impression counts for much. So basically i wouldnt be suprised if people who were unaware of the research and who felt as I do, would answer in the "partially" catagory

[Ameroman]

I had a conversation with my South Korean girlfriend once about this topic.

She often mentions that the clothes here are so plain, too mature looking, and that there are so few clothes for young people.

Then she made a comment about my clothes, which are often grey or black and very simple. Nevertheless there are still so many guys going after me.

I laughed and told her that in western countries people don't go into that much effort to dress up unlike in South Korea or Japan. She told me that if I were to go to Korea for vacation I would discover that people would make lots of effort to dress up very beautifully over there! Mum later told me that in all of the East Asian countries girls need to dress up very well to attract guys!

I continued to express my point of view and told her that, if all that people cared about were fancy clothes then the young people here wouldn't go on dates and have relationships.

I think she watches too much television, television isn’t real!

I believe Physical attraction is more about the person rather than her clothes. After all in the end the guy just wants to see you naked. Some like boobs, thigh, butt or even feet!

They don't care about clothes, it is mostly the girls who do, or she has this impression because of the fashion magazines she has been reading!

Yes compare to Japan or Korea it is true people here wear much simpler clothes. However, seriously compare to Perth or other cities in Australia I had always thought that the clothes here were of wide selections.

This is not the case anymore because of what people who come from metropolis cities have been telling me.

So I guess looks matter but they are only one part of the picture!

I like your response there lady. You definately understand the male perspective. I would say though that women focus too much on clothing instead of things like good skin and hair. The face is something that I pay alot of attention to, so perhaps thats why these things are a big deal to me. Good face+thin body (here in america, alot of women are HUGE) = im open to a relationship. After that, its just about personality compatability.