If You're Desperate for Love, Stay at Home!

[Brooker]

We get a lot of dudes on this site, who probably aren't doing too well with the ladies back home, who are interested in going to Japan because they think they'll have better luck with the ladies there. I don't know if it's just me, but my experiences dating at home are always much more positive than the experiences I had while in Japan. The attempts I made at dating while in Japan always went south because I didn't know the customs when it comes to dating. Her actions and signals always seemed very mysterious to me, as I'm sure mine did to her. At home, things seem to go a little more smoothly because I know "the rules of the game".

So the point is, don't think your love life is going to improve ten fold while you're in Japan just because they'll be thinking your lack of chop stick skills is really cute. It might actually be harder there than it is for you at home. There are no shortcuts. If you're having trouble with the ladies at home, you're just going to have to find some other way to improve your coolness.

[mad pierrot]

This should be pinned at the top of the forum....

[kirei_na_me]

Brooker, you are the man.

I'm going to give you so many reputation points for that.



And I agree with mad p. This should be a sticky.

[jieshi]

ditto. nice philosophy my friend

[okaeri_man]

ssshhhh! we can't handle the truth!

[Duo]

Ohhhh brooker, you don't know how many people you have sadenned at this moment,
still, well said, hopefully people will catch this hint

[Duo]

This should be pinned at the top of the forum....

Hehehe, indeed, and we should get rid of those advertisment banners that are like Western Men and Japanese women and the such, cuz then what kind of example would we be giving ?

[TwistedMac]

ssshhhh! we can't handle the truth!

yeah.. some people are just so insensitive to other's hopes and dreams.

on a different point; I have no idea what the rules of the game are here... I guess I just accidentally flip the right switches now and then?

[Elizabeth]

I understand what Brooker is saying and there are going to be a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunication, although obviously it does work in a lot of cases, I'm not the only one. Some things that might help are if both parties are a little older (30's and 40's), have had other direct experiences with Asians, and can just relax and be friends with someone without worrying about their coolness

It's difficult to nail down precisely.....but the pinning idea is a good one. If anyone is still interested, I'm sure you'll get many more tips that way. :)

[dreamer]

Brooker's right, however I think it's the case wherever you're going =)

[Brooker]

ssshhhh! we can't handle the truth!

I know I've ruined a beautiful fantasy. I think every gaijin guy has had visions of stepping off the plane in Japan and having scores of beautiful, giggling, photo snapping, Japanese girls throw themselves at your feet, but....

Elizabeth wrote...

there are going to be a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunication, although obviously it does work in a lot of cases, I'm not the only one.

Right, but the point is that it isn't going to be any easier in Japan. I saw lots of gaijin/Japanese couples.

There were some really dorky gaijin guys with hot J-girls, but I'm guessing a lot of those were rather superficial relationships (he liked that she was hot and she liked that he was foreign) and those relationships probably didn't last.

Once again, to try to avoid a backlash here, I'm sure there are lots of very genuine relationships out there that gaijin/Japanese people have, but, for every one of those, there's probably two other relationships based on factors that are not genuine.

[Elizabeth]

Once again, to try to avoid a backlash here, I'm sure there are lots of very genuine relationships out there that gaijin/Japanese people have, but, for every one of those, there's probably two other relationships based on factors that are not genuine.

But would those people have any more of a genuine relationship in the states with either an American or Asian girl ? I don't spend a lot of time thinking about superficial people and their relationship problems, so if there is anyone out there that can help us out with a word to the wise....please chime in.

[Frank D. White]

I had a pretty good grasp of Japanese, had dated several Japanese women(nothing serious or long term), and had a Japanese buddy to act as a go between when needed. After a year of living with her, she was still a mystery to me! It was a much harder job to carry on a good relationship there then with US girls back home. I think anyone who wants a relationship with a person from a different culture and who speaks a different language than you better be ready for a lot of effort.

Frank

[Brooker]

There you have it. And Frankie should know.

I remember it took me a long time to figure out things like the fact that Japanese girls will want to go out with you in a group for a looong time before they'll see you alone. Until I figured that out, I thought that meant she just wanted to be friends only or that she didn't trust me and was suspicious of me because that's what it would probably mean if an American girl were doing it. Little misunderstandings like that can really derail things. And there are a million others, some I figured out along the way, and others are still, and will forever remain, a mystery.

Wow, this thread has been stickied. I thought you guys were kidding about that.

[Elizabeth]

You just have to accept that there's always going to be a certain distance, with men or women, they may suddenly become less or more intimate and friendly for no apparent reason, not easily deviate from social norms, with men at least any 'romanticism' grows old pretty quickly....I don't know I guess because I can live with those things pretty easily, it has never been much of an issue. Learning the language helps obviously helps enormously in decipering these cultural tendancies.

[Mike Cash]

Hehehe, indeed, and we should get rid of those advertisment banners that are like Western Men and Japanese women and the such, cuz then what kind of example would we be giving ?

I agree heartily. They really sleaze the place up.

[Utsuki]

I'm an Asian girl and I don't know why western men just love Japanese girls! Well, I feel sad sometimes, because they only think of finding a Japanese girlfriend or wife. Well, maybe Japanese girls are really better than other Asian girls but I just feel so unfair! Sorry if i offended someone!

[Glenn]

Utsuki, I wouldn't worry about it. If you're only basing that view on the people who post here, then I can assure you that they are in no way representative of the majority of westerners. This forum just attracts a lot of those people, but that doesn't mean that that's all there are out there.

[Duo]

Like glenn said, I agree, just because Japan interests me, I don't have to love everything about it, and that applies to japanese women as well. But utsuki, it seems to me that most of the guys here that like Japanese women like Asian women in general more than the rest, so dont feel 2 bad ;)

[Utsuki]

Thanks for your encouragement Glenn and Duo!! I appreciate it very much!! :)

[Chiaki_Kuriyama_Fan]

When then i think you can all flame me i don't care what you say, im 13 and i prefer asian girls to that of the girls in my own country, i don't see whats wrong with that be seeingas a lot of people think it is wrong, i wont talk about it any more.... well let me show you something...


Keira knightly english, not so hot in my opinion!

Aki maeda much more my king of thing.

I don't care if i made enemies with this post anyone who doesnt like me, can talk to the elbow because they arent worth the extension...
XliamX

[Duo]

When then i think you can all flame me i don't care what you say, im 13 and i prefer asian girls to that of the girls in my own country, i don't see whats wrong with that be seeingas a lot of people think it is wrong, i wont talk about it any more.... well let me show you something...


Keira knightly english, not so hot in my opinion!

Aki maeda much more my king of thing.

I don't care if i made enemies with this post anyone who doesnt like me, can talk to the elbow because they arent worth the extension...
XliamX

HAHHAHAH


What a great scientific explanation you gave us. You put a crappy picture of keira in black and white even and a better one of sm asian girl and you expect me to be convinced, well it just so happens i found a better picture of her, let's compare , ;)


also, if this doesn't do it for ya, how about another foxy UK lady such as :



that's joss stone, btw i'm only putting faces seeing as you focused on that, but if we'd have to compare bodies that would be a whole different game.

oh and here is your lil school girl again, just for comparison ;)



I'm not saying white women are better than Asian women or what not, for me a woman is a woman, i like them on a case by case basis, but your little demonstration thingy was just totally so pointless so I'm just tryin to prove to you that if you have a bias, you can't judge correctly, especially by not putting equally good looking pictures

[kirei_na_me]

Different strokes for different folks, even if it is narrow-minded. Besides, a lot can change from the age of 13.

Talking about British stars, what about Kate Winslet? Rachel Weisz?! Catherine Zeta-Jones?!?!?!?!?! Some of the most beautiful women ever.

Oh well, back to the topic.

[Chiaki_Kuriyama_Fan]

ok so im biased? i don't care, what i like is what i like, and yes rachel weisz and catherine zeta jones are very good looking, don't know about kate winselt, im more into brunettes anyway back to topic.....

[jieshi]

I'm an Asian girl and I don't know why western men just love Japanese girls! Well, I feel sad sometimes, because they only think of finding a Japanese girlfriend or wife. Well, maybe Japanese girls are really better than other Asian girls but I just feel so unfair! Sorry if i offended someone!

While japanese girls are pretty, I believe that asian girls in general are very pretty. Doesn't matter what country they come from.

@ utsuki

utsuki, Malaysian women are also very beautiful, some of the most beautiful asian women i have met have been malaysian