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First, I am in support of allowing gay people to marry if they wish. It doesn't bother me, in my view it doesn't cheapen the institution, nor endanger society. How can two adults who care and love each other be considered as bad?
That said - For the sake of discussion (remember, I don't endorse all these views, just want to keep it alive)
Why marriage? Couldn't there be other legal means to achieve the same protections/rights under the law? I hear one of the problems for gay couples is not being able to share insurance, medicare, medicade, taxes and the like because the law states these are for married people.
So what if everyone compromises by letting congress rewrite some laws to extend legal protections/benefits but stop short of demanding marriage? The right wingers would be happy because their ideals are met, gay couples gain legal protection/benefit for their relationship, and you can get rid of all this silly nonsense about gay marriage throwing open the door to polygamist/three men/animals and people.
It seems that everyone is fighting tooth and nail - marriage or bust. Is this really an issue for either side to go for broke on? At one end you will end up with discrimination in the constitution, and at the other more fire for the ideologues to feed political campaigns for decades to come. Either way divides the nation down two very ugly lines.