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Bruce Lee
09-09-04, 12:53
whats everyones ideal things they like to see in a women.

Bruce Lee
09-09-04, 12:54
whats everyones ideal things they like to see in the opposite sex?

EscaFlowne
09-09-04, 13:03
OoOoOoOoooooo--I picked humor. i don't know who picked nice feet. [two votes when i started this]

Now you have to be specific, do you mean physical or mental aspects of that perfect girl. I will break it down for ya! :blush:

Let's see: I love
humor,
somebody who has something going for themselves
ambition, open-mind, athletic(sometime), Capricorns!
interest that include more then what they can see-(other cultures,etc.)
abilitiy to be witty, sharp mind--keeping me on my toes its always good and fun

Now physical attributes!
I lOVE LOVE!!!! long black hair
and creamy caramel skin
everything else is good.

And kirei and silver Angel are att the top of my list no matter what!

I just love that but i'm not picky :hihi: :giggle: :bluush: :blush:

:balloon:

EscaFlowne
09-09-04, 13:05
this is basically like your poll question but more directed to men.....and women who love women! Like how i love women! :giggle: :hihi:

:balloon:

Bruce Lee
09-09-04, 13:08
hi all would say

lineartube
09-09-04, 13:10
Intelligence and the hability of express it through conversation. :)

Oh, yeah... beauty is a plus :D

chikazukiyasui
09-09-04, 13:24
Weight, definitely. Without weight, it wouldn't be possible to have any of the other attributes.

thomas
09-09-04, 13:40
Voted for INTELLIGIENCE, lolol. Btw, I have merged this thread with another redundant one.

blessed
09-09-04, 15:13
... I voted for feet... :blush:

Ewok85
09-09-04, 15:15
First its personality, if i dont get along with the person or they cant stand me then we aint going to be around long. So thats a good sense of humor, always looking for fun, someone whos adventurous (i love going camping, rock climbing, go carting, biking, horse riding, snorkelling, real outdoors stuff. Also some mad things like glider aerobatics, hang gliding etc).

Physically, well you have to be able to keep up with me ;)

chikazukiyasui
09-09-04, 15:36
Never heard of anyone with feet, intelligence or personality who didn't have weight.

anadorei
09-09-04, 16:41
gotta go with humour.

on a side note tho' what about confidence?

chikazukiyasui
09-09-04, 16:52
Too much confidence is as annoying as too little.

Hero
09-09-04, 17:23
Things I don't want: Big age difference, under/over weight.
Things I don't care about: money.

First thing I look at is Face, then the rest of the body.
Then Hunour, compassion, kindness, etc.
And then I test their wit/intelligence, lol.
Everything else flows from their

Lina Inverse
09-09-04, 19:09
That should really be a multiple choice poll because you can't go by just one point alone.

topi
09-09-04, 19:11
I look for an intelligant girl, with direction in her life. Good looks are a bonus too.

evasuka
09-09-04, 19:21
well actually alittle bit of everything for me. It all depends.
I dont really care about what "she" has materialisticly but
about what how much love, care, etc... I can get from her
and how much i would give back

Duo
09-09-04, 20:45
U can't just look for one thing, u have to put them together. Anyways is tough between nice feet and how they look. :p

I put how they look, as it is the first thing that people notice about each other.
I know it sounds shallow, :( but at least I'm honest :(

evasuka
09-09-04, 21:14
sounds like you agree with me

Hero
10-09-04, 00:14
I look for an intelligant girl, with direction in her life. Good looks are a bonus too.

Yeah she's gotta have direction. Like a plan in life, goals and dreams that she's at least making an attempt to go after.
She's gotta have ambition!

A lil independence would be nice to so she doesn't rely on you for everything.

Dream Time
10-09-04, 01:23
look,humor,fun,understanding,open mind,caring,kindness

I like girls that could give me warm feelings,
and plays like kids

my passion lies in music and basketball and I put alot of time into those two things, so she would have to appreciate,or atleast try to understand my passion for these two things,
she does not need to be an expert of music and basketball,
I'll be very happy if she would enjoy music with me,watch and play basketball with me.
if she doesn't appreciate it,or even hates it,it would be very tough for us.

I don't care about money.

Miss_apollo7
10-09-04, 01:31
I look for intelligence for sure, if i can't talk to him on various matters, I would lose interest very quickly!

Oh, I also look at face and hands. :blush: He must look attractive in some way physically (like nice smile, eyes etc...). About the hands, I really can't explain it....I think it is a fetish...:blush:
And my friends have laughed about it, as my friends look at guys' butt, (which I can also I admit), but the guy's hands are more important to me..... :relief:

kirei_na_me
10-09-04, 01:36
About the hands, I really can't explain it....I think it is a fetish...:blush:
And my friends have laughed about it, as my friends look at guys' butt, (which I can also I admit), but the guy's hands are more important to me..... :relief:

NO way, Miss Apollo!!!! I am the exact same way! I have a thing about hands!!! :D Hands and lips and teeth!

You are the first one I've seen with a hand fetish like me!! :cool:

I'm glad I'm not alone... :p

Anyuni_Nakashima
10-09-04, 02:01
Actually, the hand fetish is really common. Lot's of my "girl" friends love nice hands on a man...okay that wasn't supposed to rhyme.

Apperance wise:
I like really tall guys I'm talking about like 6 and 6'5, maybe taller. I think it's sexy when i guy is tall...I know that sounds odd, but I can't help myself and I'm only 5'3.
But, when your thinking personality wise. Many things have to be considered not just one.

Duo
10-09-04, 02:02
I been told by some girls that I have pretty hands. :p

Anyways, what do u make of this kirei and miss apollo ? :blush: :blush: :bluush:

ZellX
10-09-04, 02:22
is that you duo the pic

Duo
10-09-04, 02:24
is that you duo the pic

It's my evil twin, the second guy, hence the name duo :p

Yeah, that's me. :haihai:

kirei_na_me
10-09-04, 02:37
Nice hands, Duo... :love:

Anyuni_Nakashima
10-09-04, 04:39
Duo I really think you should post more pictures of yourself... :rose:

Emoni
10-09-04, 05:43
Weight, definitely. Without weight, it wouldn't be possible to have any of the other attributes.

Ok, this is just hilarious. :D

Wow, compassion doesn't seem to really count to much to people it seems!

Satori
10-09-04, 09:17
I voted for intelligence. I love a man with a sexy brain. If a man is not intelligent, then things just won't go any further. So intelligence is number one. Next is humor and compassion. I love a man with a good sense of humor and who also has a good heart. Then comes how they look. There needs to be a physical attraction--usually through the eyes and the smile. That's where the magic happens. And once that happens, I'm hooked!! :blush:

I also love a man who is passionate. Intellectual passion usually translates into physical passion. What can I say but, woo hoo!!! :p

Maciamo
10-09-04, 09:38
I suppose the question is directed to love or marriage relationships, not just friends or "sex friends" (as they say in Japan). So here is what I say :

how they look : important to like the looks of the person you are going to live with
money : not important in a partner, except for people who have always lived in poverty, are pathologically greedy or too lazy to work
humour : important, but that could be as important with friends or whoever, so nothing exclusive here.
style : important for some, but can easily changed with the partner's influence or current situation (do you wear the same clothes at work, on holiday, or for going out ?)
compassion : ?? Like in "she/he choose to spend her/his life with you by pity" ?
romance : important but difficult to maintain when living all the time together for years
fun : That only depends on the compatibility of personalities and situtation in which they live
intelligence : I used to consider it important (even the most important), but I realised that it was pointless trying to find somebody I am attracted to and can have serious conversations with. Friends or people on forums like here are better to discuss serious issues.
age : Not really a problem as long as we stay within 5-10 years.
weight : ? depends on height. Anyway can change either way depending on lifestyle. Not a stable factor.
kids : can be an issue, but depends on age, maturity, personal experience, etc. Anyway change with time, and anyway most men are ready later than women for biological (hormonal) reasons.
nice feet : kidding ? Why not nice earlobes or nice nails ?

jovial_jon
10-09-04, 09:40
I'd just like to say how funny I think it is that 'intelligence' is spelled wrong in the poll. :D

But as far as the question goes, but with the word 'same' instead of 'opposite' :p , I have to say I agree with every word of Satori's post!

Satori
10-09-04, 10:26
compassion : ?? Like in "she/he choose to spend her/his life with you by pity" ?

Nooooo. Compassion as in kind and caring about other people. Not pity! God, no!! That would be a huge turnoff!! But a turnon would be someone who has a good heart and who really cares about other people and humanity in general. At least, that's my interpretation, for what it's worth!! :p


I'd just like to say how funny I think it is that 'intelligence' is spelt wrong in the poll. :D

What's even funnier is that I didn't even notice and yet I chose intelligence as my no. 1 vote!!!! :D Hope that's not a reflection on my intelligence!! :D

CC1
10-09-04, 10:39
I'd just like to say how funny I think it is that 'intelligence' is spelt wrong in the poll. :D

But as far as the question goes, but with the word 'same' instead of 'opposite' :p , I have to say I agree with every word of Satori's post!

what's even funnier is the fact that you "spelt" spelled wrong! :D

j/k with ya!

jovial_jon
10-09-04, 10:45
Nobody's perfect! :D *Edits it and hopes no one will notice.* :relief:

Duo
10-09-04, 11:08
I voted for intelligence. I love a man with a sexy brain. If a man is not intelligent, then things just won't go any further. So intelligence is number one. Next is humor and compassion. I love a man with a good sense of humor and who also has a good heart. Then comes how they look. There needs to be a physical attraction--usually through the eyes and the smile. That's where the magic happens. And once that happens, I'm hooked!! :blush:

Wow, Satori

U defenetily know what you want. I think that in your way you are describing what each of us looks for in a partner. :wave:

I love this line:



I also love a man who is passionate. Intellectual passion usually translates into physical passion. What can I say but, woo hoo!!! :p

By far the most concise post in this thread. :bow:

I always felt that us intellectual oriented guys were a minority but thx to you I saw the light. :blush: :p

great post anyways, :balloon:

Satori
10-09-04, 11:19
Wow, Satori

U defenetily know what you want. I think that in your way you are describing what each of us looks for in a partner. :wave:

I love this line:



By far the most concise post in this thread. :bow:

I always felt that us intellectual oriented guys were a minority but thx to you I saw the light. :blush: :p

great post anyways, :balloon:

Thanks!! Yes, there's nothing like intellectual stimulation for some mad, passionate sex!!! :blush: :cool: :p

Timsan
10-09-04, 11:39
first its beauty and how htey look, then its more of intelligence and what their world view is, ie. religion, morals, values etc.

jieshi
10-09-04, 11:45
i said romance. but can i say everthing? I look for someone i get on well with, is beautiful both inside and out, has a great personality, and likes romance. Im a huge romantic

Satori
10-09-04, 11:47
i said romance. but can i say everthing? I look for someone i get on well with, is beautiful both inside and out, has a great personality, and likes romance. Im a huge romantic

That's cool! That's what's known as a "hopeful" romantic, as opposed to a "hopeless" romantic!! Very cool, indeed!! :cool: Yay, romance!!!! :blush:

CC1
10-09-04, 12:17
You know, looks have never been all that important to me. Don't get me wrong, I'll get whiplash in a heartbeat if a beauty walks by me, but I don't require that the woman I am with be perfect! I do however love nice legs! :-) Legs get my attention, then it is up to the personality and intellect. The other things just fall into place. Every person is going to have little "quirks" that you dislike. These are only found after you have lived with someone.

I just wonder why "kids" is on the poll? :? Surely you would hold that against someone would you? And I can't picture someone out there searching for an instant family! Ok, maybe I would hold it against her if she had 3 kids with 3 different guys, or if she had 2-3 kids with the same guy but was never married! LOL :D But I think that would go back to intelligence! :?

jovial_jon
10-09-04, 12:18
...and the ability to spell is a must.

kirei_na_me
10-09-04, 12:34
Definitely. The ability to spell goes along with intelligence, and I agree with Satori 100% about the intellectual passion. :cool:

If I could do it over again...

But anyway... :balloon:

Satori
10-09-04, 12:59
I do however love nice legs! :-) Legs get my attention, then it is up to the personality and intellect.

I used to be called "Legs" at one time!! It's amazing the power that has over men sometimes!! I've seen men walk into things while looking at my legs, and I even had an attorney once carry on an entire conversation while looking at my legs!! Too funny!! The great thing is that it's usually intellectual men who are into legs, so it's always worked in my favor, either way!! :cool:

kirei_na_me
10-09-04, 13:10
:D Satori

While I was in high school, I was a cross-country and track runner and my mom was also a runner and the cross-country and track coach, and we were known as the 'leg twins', because of those 'killer calves' of ours... :p Not like bodybuilder calves(bleh), but just nicely defined. ;-) Well, they still are, but not quite like the used to be.

Satori
10-09-04, 13:14
:D Satori

While I was in high school, I was a cross-country and track runner and my mom was also a runner and the cross-country and track coach, and we were known as the 'leg twins', because of those 'killer calves' of ours... :p Not like bodybuilder calves(bleh), but just nicely defined. ;-) Well, they still are, but not quite like the used to be.

That's so cool!! There's nothing like having killer legs, is there?! :p You're lucky you also have the breasts to match. Unfortunately, I only have the legs. I would need plastic surgery for the boob job. At least they can be bought!!! Thank God for modern technology!!! :D :D

EscaFlowne
10-09-04, 14:02
[Shakes from Satori and kirei's legs...]

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoooooo :blush:

I love some different color eyes. Like a tropical forest Green. I could loose my soul in it... :bluush:

Satori
10-09-04, 14:22
[Shakes from Satori and kirei's legs...]

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoooooo :blush:

I love some different color eyes. Like a tropical forest Green. I could loose my soul in it... :bluush:

Sorry, no green eyes here. Just blue eyes, I'm afraid!! But I can still kill you with my legs!! :p

In fact, I'll never forget one time back in 1989, I was working for a large law firm in Sacramento. I was wearing black stockings, black cowboy boots with heels (the kind that are made to look like cowboy boots, that is), a mini skirt, and a blazer with the sleeves pushed up (you know, classic '80s or Sheena Easton look), and I was trying to get a file out of a file cabinet that was in the hallway. I could see out of the corner of my eye that the attorney in the office across the hall was straining his neck to look at my legs, so much so that he had to grab his desk at the last minute or else he would have fallen out of his chair!! Too funny!!! :D :D Hmmm ... now why do I get the feeling he was a leg man?!! :p :D

Elizabeth
10-09-04, 14:56
I just wonder why "kids" is on the poll? :? Surely you would hold that against someone would you? And I can't picture someone out there searching for an instant family! Ok, maybe I would hold it against her if she had 3 kids with 3 different guys, or if she had 2-3 kids with the same guy but was never married! LOL :D But I think that would go back to intelligence! :?
Although that is actually my standard -- someone else who doesn't like kids (say over 5 years or so). Followed by sweet/cute looks, compatible interests, high intelligence but less intellectual passion than I have but who's more compassionate and thoughtful. How this all translates into physical desire depends on the situation....:p

kamuizero
10-09-04, 15:56
Kids?? :? ....

I Like a girl to be fun and interesting, someone you can always rely on, always amazing me with her personality not only the first time but always :), also good looking....but in physical aspect I love Japanese girls :bluush: or very white girls, very long hair (color doesn't matter). :D

Duo
10-09-04, 18:20
Nice hands, Duo... :love:

A compliment from the lovely kirei, im gettin dizzy :v: :blush:

kirei_na_me
10-09-04, 18:23
Duo, don't get dizzy! You might pass-out! And if you do that, you can't put your hands anywhere! :souka: :p :evil:

Duo
10-09-04, 18:32
Duo I really think you should post more pictures of yourself... :rose:

ah thanks, :bluush:

Anyways, i have already posted 2 pics of mine in the post ur pic thread, should be around page 71 if u wanna bother and look.

Anyways, thx for the compliment :blush:


Duo, don't get dizzy! You might pass-out! And if you do that, you can't put your hands anywhere! :souka: :p :evil:

Maybe u can catch me! :blush:

you wouldn't let me fall now , would u :?

kirei_na_me
10-09-04, 18:37
you wouldn't let me fall now , would u :?

Never, Duo... ;-)

Dream Time
10-09-04, 18:54
*reads the conversation of kirei and satori*

*imagines about it*

*nose bleeds*

Miss_apollo7
11-09-04, 23:34
I been told by some girls that I have pretty hands. :p

Anyways, what do u make of this kirei and miss apollo ? :blush: :blush: :bluush:

Nice hands Duo!!! *thumbs up* :love:
I am glad that I am not alone with the hand fetish Kirei!! :blush: :-)

Intelligence first is very important, then nice looks and nice hands...:love:

jieshi
12-09-04, 00:02
I really think some of the guys are getting very worked up about the the girls on these forums!! lol

shotime77780
12-09-04, 03:35
lol i have the ugliest hands... boney, viens bulging out of it, and horribly dry skin in the winter :D :D

Maciamo
12-09-04, 04:51
what's even funnier is the fact that you "spelt" spelled wrong! :D


No, the funny thing is that you don't know that the past of spell is either spelt or spelled, and the former is the most usual (worldwide) except in the US.

jovial_jon
12-09-04, 05:04
:D And Jon gets the last laugh! :p That's the last time I trust anybody who corrects my spelling! ;-)

blessed
12-09-04, 05:08
... I can't believe feet are so underappreciated here... :(

jovial_jon
12-09-04, 05:11
I like feet, but I think nice ones are pretty rare. I've not seen too many!

Dream Time
12-09-04, 05:25
I like feet, but I think nice ones are pretty rare. I've not seen too many!

how about a pair of nice looking feet with incurable odor?



:D

mad pierrot
12-09-04, 05:30
"anyone that likes you."

and

"not married"

or

"mentally stable."


:p

jovial_jon
12-09-04, 05:32
It depends what the odor is! :p But yeah, stinky feet = gross.

Thor
12-09-04, 06:08
Romance definently! :beer:

jieshi
13-09-04, 01:13
I like feet, but I think nice ones are pretty rare. I've not seen too many!

oooh a foot fetish!!! lol

Satori
13-09-04, 05:21
oooh a foot fetish!!! lol

I know, I'm almost afraid to say I've been told I have pretty feet too!!! :p But Jovial Jon is correct--they are rare, I think.

kirei_na_me
13-09-04, 16:25
Hey, I have pretty feet and toenails that are always painted red, and I wear 3-4 inch heels to accentuate them all the time. I think I have a foot fetish, because I just love nice looking feet in some high heels. :cute:

I also think that Satori and I must be twins.

Satori
13-09-04, 21:25
Hey, I have pretty feet and toenails that are always painted red, and I wear 3-4 inch heels to accentuate them all the time. I think I have a foot fetish, because I just love nice looking feet in some high heels. :cute:

I also think that Satori and I must be twins.

Hey, one more thing we have in common!! Yes, we must be twins! :cool:

I love high heels too, for feet but especially to accentuate the legs. Plus, there's definitely a sexier walk when wearing heels, don't you think? Heels just give me a more feminine feel overall, I think.

The worst looking feet are dancers' feet! Dancers legs are very nice, but their feet ... too many years in ballet shoes. :eek2:

I don't know if I have a foot fetish either, but I do notice and appreciate when people have nice looking feet, I guess. I remember reading an interview with Sharon Stone, with accompanying pictures of her, and I couldn't help but notice that she had pretty feet. Many actors oftentimes have extensive dance training when they are young so their feet can sometimes look very unattractive, so it always surprises me when they have nice looking feet.

I've also noticed that petite women like ourselves tend to have nicer looking feet, for some reason. Have you ever noticed that?

:-)

Lina Inverse
13-09-04, 22:23
Nice hands are nice, but not overly important... can't say I care about feet :D
The stuff above the feet is much more important: long, slender legs, and a certain place between the legs :D

King of Tokyo
14-09-04, 02:27
This is a poorly done poll, although it was made by potatoe under another alias so I can understand. But, I can't really take this topic serious with the poorly done choices.. Heh.

Satori
14-09-04, 05:00
This is a poorly done poll, although it was made by potatoe under another alias so I can understand. But, I can't really take this topic serious with the poorly done choices.. Heh.

Just write in your own, then!! Tell us what you like!! :p

Miss_apollo7
14-09-04, 13:52
Hehe, I don't have a foot-fetish, I don't look at men's feet, however, I do prefer the feet to be clean and nice.... :blush: :D

jieshi
15-09-04, 06:23
Hehe, I don't have a foot-fetish, I don't look at men's feet, however, I do prefer the feet to be clean and nice.... :blush: :D

I couldn't agree more!! except I mean clean feet on a woman.

babar-san
18-09-04, 18:38
intelligence first id have to say, then maybe personailty, and finally looks. also, similar interests are a big thing for me. i dont do very well with girls that have opposite interests. it a good thing ive got so many interests:) looks are more important than a lot of ppl will admit. i cant be with someone if im not attracted to them physically.
so, Anyuni_Nakashima, im 6'6", is that tall enough?
i also have this thing for girls who wear their hair short, i dont know what it is, but on an attractive girl i find it very sexy.

Kei_Shugojin
20-09-04, 20:21
what does everyone look for in the opposite sex?
how they look- They can't be ugly as hell, but it's not very important to me. Preferrably asian, or caucasian brunette.
money- again, not important
humour- this is important. I tend to joke alot, and anyone I get along with would need a sense of humour.
style- Well, I've always been more attracted to tomboys, so I bet she would have to have a kind of "bad ass" attitude.
compassion- depends on the situation in which she shows compassion.
romance- Not really important.
fun- Very important. You have to be able to hang out and have fun with your partner.
intelligience- very important. I'm just not attracted to idiots.
age- doesn't matter, really.
weight- well, she can't weigh more than me. lol
kids- I definitely want kids someday.
nice feet- huh? I'm more of a legs, face, hair, and boobs person, myself. lol

But like I said, I'm more attracted to tomboys.

Fantt
20-09-04, 20:58
As a man happily married for almost 9 years now, I'll put in my two yen worth...

My wife is my best friend - we enjoy doing most things together and we never run out of things to talk about. Our personal philosophies, while different, are compatible. We don't hold anything in - we have had our share of screaming and holering, but it's usually cathartic - we never stay mad at each other for more than a day or so.

If you're looking for more than a sex partner, then I seriously recommend that you find someone who you can talk with and never run out of things to discuss. My wife and I are both very much nerds. We love to talk about technology, science, philosophy, politics, etc. If you're interested in lots of stuff and you find that your partner isn't interested in at least a third of them, then you may eventually run into trouble.

For me, it wasn't just intelligence or looks - it was compatibility. I dated my share of women and met a lot that I enjoyed hanging around with, but at the end of the day, if either of us got bored, we knew it was a lost cause. When I met Lindsay, I didn't feel like I had met my soul mate or that we were destined to be together. I felt like I had met my best friend - someone who I could grow old with, raise a family with and help take care of through the rest of my life. Maybe it's just a feeling, but that's what I reccomend looking for.

It also didn't hurt that I had to do my share of growing up before I met Lindsay. Most men start out really immature and need a lot of relationship training. You have to get your priorities set and be ready for a very long term relationship. If you're just playing the field (nothing wrong with that) then just go for a little bit of everything... variety is the spice of life. But try to have worked that mostly out of your system before you run into the "one" person.

Does any of that make sense?

Kei_Shugojin
20-09-04, 21:27
*claps* very good, Fantt.

jieshi
21-09-04, 02:16
As a man happily married for almost 9 years now, I'll put in my two yen worth...

My wife is my best friend - we enjoy doing most things together and we never run out of things to talk about. Our personal philosophies, while different, are compatible. We don't hold anything in - we have had our share of screaming and holering, but it's usually cathartic - we never stay mad at each other for more than a day or so.

If you're looking for more than a sex partner, then I seriously recommend that you find someone who you can talk with and never run out of things to discuss. My wife and I are both very much nerds. We love to talk about technology, science, philosophy, politics, etc. If you're interested in lots of stuff and you find that your partner isn't interested in at least a third of them, then you may eventually run into trouble.

For me, it wasn't just intelligence or looks - it was compatibility. I dated my share of women and met a lot that I enjoyed hanging around with, but at the end of the day, if either of us got bored, we knew it was a lost cause. When I met Lindsay, I didn't feel like I had met my soul mate or that we were destined to be together. I felt like I had met my best friend - someone who I could grow old with, raise a family with and help take care of through the rest of my life. Maybe it's just a feeling, but that's what I reccomend looking for.

It also didn't hurt that I had to do my share of growing up before I met Lindsay. Most men start out really immature and need a lot of relationship training. You have to get your priorities set and be ready for a very long term relationship. If you're just playing the field (nothing wrong with that) then just go for a little bit of everything... variety is the spice of life. But try to have worked that mostly out of your system before you run into the "one" person.

Does any of that make sense?

thats exactly what I would have said (though Im not married) I am so not into the whole sex partner thing. I think it is special and want to save it unti lmarriage. thats my two yen

Fantt
21-09-04, 03:24
Ummm... it may not be very responsible adult of me, but I wouldn't tell anyone to abstain from sex until marriage. I'd say abstain until you're responsible enough to have safe sex, but I think waiting until you're married is probably NOT a good idea.

Sex is the closest and most intimate thing you can do with another person. I don't think you can make a wise marriage choice without experiencing it before hand. That said - I don't mean that you should be promiscuous. Waiting until marriage may be right for some people, but I think in general it's not very good advice.

Now, if you're underage, then, obviously my statements imply waiting until you're of age and mature enough to make sure nothing bad happens. That's not an easy thing.

michi
21-09-04, 04:22
ok, i'd rather delete this than edit it, so can a moderator please delete my post. thank you!

jieshi
21-09-04, 04:56
Ummm... it may not be very responsible adult of me, but I wouldn't tell anyone to abstain from sex until marriage. I'd say abstain until you're responsible enough to have safe sex, but I think waiting until you're married is probably NOT a good idea.

Sex is the closest and most intimate thing you can do with another person. I don't think you can make a wise marriage choice without experiencing it before hand. That said - I don't mean that you should be promiscuous. Waiting until marriage may be right for some people, but I think in general it's not very good advice.

Now, if you're underage, then, obviously my statements imply waiting until you're of age and mature enough to make sure nothing bad happens. That's not an easy thing.

I agree with your views about sex. I believe that it is one of the most (if not the most) intimate thing you can do with someone. And I also believe that what is right for you is right for you, I would never force my views on someone. I also believe that a really good way to see if your partner will remain faithful to you in a relationship is to agree not to have.... (school admins can block if the word is used to often) until you are married. While the temptation is always there, if you and your partner keep this promise with each other it is a pretty good sign that you will remain faithful to each other (and yourself) because you have stayed within the boudaries that your relationship relies on.

One more thing. I don't believe that you need to have had sex before you get married. If a relationship is right, it's right. I don't think sex is necessary to decide if it is a good relationship or not. If it is a good relationship, you will know it, and I believe that saying you must have sex before you get married is an excuse to justify having sex before marriage.

Please understand I am not trying to offend anyone as these are my own personal views and I would never push them on you. And no, I am not against ... I believe that it is an awesome thing but I also think it should only be shared between you and the one. :wave:

TimF
21-09-04, 05:18
There is this one girl I am sorta in the mix with now that has everything I have ever wanted and more. I just wish her and I had more time together I cant get her off of my mind though onetime I stayed up for 73 hours and 58 minutes just to see how her day went....but she has a life she needs to live and i understand that. Anywoo I like a girl that is shorter than me (it isnt hard im 6'6") I like her to be intellectual and fun and I like her to be outgoing Id like for her to be really close to me also so 50 years from now when we are watching our grandchildren play in the front yard from the porch swing I can still see her as my best friend and companion throught the years past and the years yet to come. Someone who when I look at her 50 years from now she is still as beautiful to me as the day I met her.......that to me is love people. (Note: It doesnt have to be a physical attraction it can be on a emotional or mental level)

I will have to come back to this post later i have to do something real quick and think on what else i like lol

Trojan1313
21-09-04, 21:53
Well... how they look and intelligence... but since I could only pick one, I picked intelligence. :)

byp
02-10-04, 14:15
Thanks!! Yes, there's nothing like intellectual stimulation for some mad, passionate sex!!! :blush: :cool: :p
mmmmm. you sound like someone i would just love... (to meet)

what do i look for ?

the little light that one might have in the eyes.
that's what i'd look for. if there is that light, then there are so many things that go along with it.

then...

the hands and the nose
or vice versa, not important which one first.
(1st time you meet a nose freak, heh ? i can tell you, it tells a lot)

then (of utmost importance) comes the smell...
yeah, sorry for those who, however intelligent, funny, beautyfull, rich... and so on... smell the smell of channel n5 or any other that will eventually (or allready has) go off within 5 minutes... these ladies will have to move elsewhere. no way i could be interrested in someone like that.

then...
well, that is allready a lot... if that is met, then i will go along and discover with many daily pleasures what make that light-in-the-eye ever so attractive.

it did happend a few times that the light went off after a while. was it my fault ? i never knew the answer, simply because i never asked.

TwistedMac
06-10-04, 17:50
the little light that one might have in the eyes.
that's what i'd look for.
you mean like girls with lightbulbs for brains?

byp
06-10-04, 17:58
you mean like girls with lightbulbs for brains?haow, c'mon twisted mack !
that's not nice ! u should know better that that !
does your light bulb stops you from seeing ?
(notice : there are no "s" for light bulb... in your case... :D :D :D :D )

Satori
06-10-04, 19:12
the hands and the nose
or vice versa, not important which one first.
(1st time you meet a nose freak, heh ? i can tell you, it tells a lot)

Okay, I have to ask. My curiosity has gotten the best of me. What exactly does a person with a nose fetish look for in noses? :?

PaulTB
06-10-04, 19:33
what do you look for in the opposite sex?
Not having an adam's apple.

kirei_na_me
06-10-04, 19:48
Okay, I have to ask. My curiosity has gotten the best of me. What exactly does a person with a nose fetish look for in noses? :?

I think my husband has a nose fetish. He likes the 'high' noses, which he says only Westerners have. Every Japanese person I have come in contact with loves a 'high' nose. :D

byp
06-10-04, 21:06
Okay, I have to ask. My curiosity has gotten the best of me. What exactly does a person with a nose fetish look for in noses? :?well sartori, i hope i will not sound too "technical". but it's just more thant that... it's extremely important that...
no, let me put it the other way. it's not important how large or big or small the nose is. the important thing is : how wide are the nostrils. it's a well know fact that a person with narrow nostril has more chances to have a narrow mind. on the contrary, a person with wide nostrils will have a tendency to breath more easily, to be more open, less "stuck, and / or uptight" , to breath life to full extent.
this feature is an important one (and well known) in physiognomony science. one can say it's 80% accurate.

now, belive me it has nothing to do with fetishism. nothing at all. i also find it extremely sexy and sensual...

it's just like what you can tell when you see a person with the little finger wide appart from the rest of the other fingers... extremely interesting, too.

sweet dreams to you.

Trojan1313
06-10-04, 22:20
well sartori, i hope i will not sound too "technical". but it's just more thant that... it's extremely important that...
no, let me put it the other way. it's not important how larg or small the nose is. the important thing is : how wide are the nostrils. it's a well know fact that a person with narrow nostril has more chances to have a narrow mind. on the contrary, a person with wide nostrils will have a tendency to breath more easily, to be more open, less "stuck, and / or uptight" , to breath life to full extent.
this feature is an important one (and well known) in physiognomony science. one can say it's 80% accurate.

now, belive me it has nothing to do with fetishism. nothing at all. i also find it extremely sexy and sensual...

it's just like what you can tell when you see a person with the little finger wide appart from the rest of the other fingers... extremely interesting, too.

sweet dreams to you.

...really? :o
Do you have any sources?

byp
07-10-04, 05:33
...really? :o
Do you have any sources? any good professionnal & scientific encyclopedy about physiognomony and / or human features.
Try Desmond Morris, all others I know are specialized studies designed for professionnals.

Trojan1313
07-10-04, 15:05
any good professionnal & scientific encyclopedy about physiognomony and / or human features.
Try Desmond Morris, all others I know are specialized studies designed for professionnals.

No Internet sources then? Pitty... :(

Raven
08-10-04, 15:42
Well beauty is only skin deep, you can meet a beautiful person whos completely ugly on the inside so I usually base what I like about a person by their first impressions. Im pretty laid back and I like to have fun, if Im not comfortable with a person its hard to see the truly attractive attributes. Also compassion, humor, and a sense of style doesn't hurt :cool:

Reiku
09-10-04, 11:45
Hmm, it's really a combination of things...

...looks are importaint, but there are other factors (such as personality) that can make up for a lack in that area. Ultimately it is a question of whether or not I can be intimate and sexually involved with that person, and for how long. I don't have a problem just being freinds with women, but in that case I'm not looking at them as a member of the opposite sex--just as a person I can hang out with.

Satori
09-10-04, 21:48
I think my husband has a nose fetish. He likes the 'high' noses, which he says only Westerners have. Every Japanese person I have come in contact with loves a 'high' nose. :D

I wasn't sure what you meant by a "high" nose and before asking you to clarify, I thought I would check out what a Japanese woman's nose was like, because I truly forgot!! Soooo, back to the gallery I went ... again!! :p But I'm not sure I saw much of a difference. :?
I know that when performing nose jobs, plastic surgeons always give the nose a slight tilt upwards, because, believe it or not, everyone's nose tends to droop as they age. (I never knew that before.) Back in the '60s, plastic surgeons gave noses too much of a tilt upwards, so that it created the "ski lift" effect!! :p But these days the goal is a more natural look, thankfully.


well sartori, i hope i will not sound too "technical". but it's just more thant that... it's extremely important that...
no, let me put it the other way. it's not important how large or big or small the nose is. the important thing is : how wide are the nostrils. it's a well know fact that a person with narrow nostril has more chances to have a narrow mind. on the contrary, a person with wide nostrils will have a tendency to breath more easily, to be more open, less "stuck, and / or uptight" , to breath life to full extent.
this feature is an important one (and well known) in physiognomony science. one can say it's 80% accurate.

now, belive me it has nothing to do with fetishism. nothing at all. i also find it extremely sexy and sensual...

it's just like what you can tell when you see a person with the little finger wide appart from the rest of the other fingers... extremely interesting, too.

sweet dreams to you.

Oh, I see where you're coming from. I never knew that about nostrils, but I have heard of the studies performed on fingers. Supposedly, how the fingers are placed can even determine if a woman is a lesbian. Usually, I don't approve of anything that stereotypes people like that (still don't, actually), but with that particular study, I have heard people say that it did prove to be pretty accurate for some odd reason. However, like I said, I have never heard of the nostril study. Does that study apply to men as well? :?

Miss_apollo7
09-10-04, 21:55
I wasn't sure what you meant by a "high" nose and before asking you to clarify, I thought I would check out what a Japanese woman's nose was like, because I truly forgot!! Soooo, back to the gallery I went ... again!! :p But I'm not sure I saw much of a difference. :?
I know that when performing nose jobs, plastic surgeons always give the nose a slight tilt upwards, because, believe it or not, everyone's nose tends to droop as they age. (I never knew that before.) Back in the '60s, plastic surgeons gave noses too much of a tilt upwards, so that it created the "ski lift" effect!! :p But these days the goal is a more natural look, thankfully.

HAHA...:D I really enjoyed reading this about noses. I don't have a nose fetish, but my Japanese friends admire a "Western nose" aka "high" noses mentioned by Kirei.

The most important thing I look for in a guy is still intelligence and....hands (he needs to have clean hands, but also nice attractive (masculine) hands) :D. However, first-hand impression is appearance and looks... otherwise I am not turned on, or interested. :D If I can't talk to him and discuss different matters I am not interested, as I get bored...I would like to know about different subjects/work-and subject-areas from him too. :blush:

Satori
09-10-04, 22:06
The most important thing I look for in a guy is still intelligence and....hands (he needs to have clean hands, but also nice attractive (masculine) hands) :D. However, first-hand impression is appearance and looks... otherwise I am not turned on, or interested. :D If I can't talk to him and discuss different matters I am not interested, as I get bored...I would like to know about different subjects/work-and subject-areas from him too. :blush:

I know what you mean. I'm attracted by looks first, but there needs to be intelligence and more to draw me in. That's the allure. If that's not there, then forget it! I once went out with a man who was extremely good looking, perfect build, etc., but who also ended up being dumber than a doorknob! So that is why I placed intelligence at the top of my list. Never again will I make that mistake!! :p

Miss_apollo7
09-10-04, 22:44
I once went out with a man who was extremely good looking, perfect build, etc., but who also ended up being dumber than a doorknob! So that is why I placed intelligence at the top of my list. Never again will I make that mistake!! :p

Oh! I feel sorry for you satori!!
I have only experienced this once, when I went out with a guy who was great looking, but he was dumb too: It was a blind date and we in fact talked about something which was great news and was in the papers and he said:
it didn't interest him, and didn't know much and I found out that he didn't know much about basic stuff...NEVER AGAIN!!

My boyfriend is good looking and intelligent...:relief: I fell for his looks first and after I found out (after first date) that he was intelligent and I could learn about new subjects as well because he is in a different field of work than mine - which is great, as there are different things to talk about...

Brooker
10-10-04, 00:43
Out of 20 points, this is how I would distribute the points to the four qualities that are most important to me....

Sweetness - 7 - A sweet girl makes me feel comfotable to be around her and makes me feel like a good guy for just being around her. Someone who is possitive and makes everything seem better because of her attitude and way of looking at things. Someone who's caring, compassionate, and tender.

Intelligence - 6 - Being able to talk to someone about the things that are important to me is what makes me feel close to someone. When someone is intelligent, they seem like more of a "real person" to me, rather than just someone who acts on instinct and goes along with the flow without thinking about situations from all angles. Introspective - she knows herself.

Attractiveness - 4 - You've got to be attracted to someone. But if she has the other qualities, she'll seem more attractive.

Adventurousness - 3 - Someone who is willing to join me in the many adventures that I want to have.

Where are you dream girl??

Satori
10-10-04, 10:20
Brooker,

With that answer, I'm surprised you're not beating the girls off with a stick!! :cool: :blush:

byp
10-10-04, 14:17
Brooker,With that answer, I'm surprised you're not beating the girls off with a stick!! :cool: :blush: possible answers :
1) he is ! (but won't tell)
2) it's 2nd degree (or 3rd)
3) if not 2) then he is a *&@#~!}"*&`+*##!!! or even worst...

but he is not,
rather 2), no ?
:D :D :D

Brooker
10-10-04, 21:42
Brooker,

With that answer, I'm surprised you're not beating the girls off with a stick!! :cool: :blush:

It's not really that I have trouble meeting girls :blush: I just rarely meet girls who I really like. I don't think I'm picky, I'm just very particular about being compatible with the gal.

@byp...
Huh? :?

Camui
10-10-04, 22:53
I like a guy that I can talk to, someone who is open to new things, and understand me decently well...a smart guy is preferable, he doesn't have to be a genius or anything...I like guys that are caring and are pretty open about the way they feel...as far as apperance I like a guy who's taller than me an I'm like 5'4"...for some reason I tend to like skinier guys...I also tend to like asians...I like a guy with nice hair cuz I like to mess around with it and nice hands and eyes are good too ^^

Satori
11-10-04, 01:09
It's not really that I have trouble meeting girls :blush: I just rarely meet girls who I really like. I don't think I'm picky, I'm just very particular about being compatible with the gal.

I can completely relate. I'm in the same situation with respect to men. :blush:


@byp...
Huh? :?

My sentiments, exactly! I read that last night and thought, Huh?? I still have no idea what he meant. Could you explain it to us, byp? :?

Brooker
13-10-04, 06:29
I was (briefly) watching some girly show where this group of girls were talking about what they look for in a man and they all seemed to be in such denial, or at least saying what they thought they should say in front of their friends. They were saying things like, "He should just introduce himself and be himself." "He should be kind and polite." etc. Then why do so many girls go for guys who act like they don't care about anything and treat them poorly? Not saying that all girls who say they're attracted to positive qualities are being dishonest but it seems like a lot of gals (maybe guys too, although I don't pay much attention to that) try to fool themselves by saying that they're looking for qualities that they think they should be looking for when what they're actually attracted to is something they wouldn't want to admit. If you're attracted to negative qualities, you should at least be introspective enough to realize it (or admit it).

Satori
13-10-04, 06:50
I was (briefly) watching some girly show where this group of girls were talking about what they look for in a man and they all seemed to be in such denial, or at least saying what they thought they should say in front of their friends. They were saying things like, "He should just introduce himself and be himself." "He should be kind and polite." etc. Then why do so many girls go for guys who act like they don't care about anything and treat them poorly? Not saying that all girls who say they're attracted to positive qualities are being dishonest but it seems like a lot of gals (maybe guys too, although I don't pay much attention to that) try to fool themselves by saying that they're looking for qualities that they think they should be looking for when what they're actually attracted to is something they wouldn't want to admit. If you're attracted to negative qualities, you should at least be introspective enough to realize it (or admit it).

I think what you're describing does apply to both men and women, and it has to do with consciously wanting one thing, while being subconsciously drawn to another. For instance, a woman may truly want a man with all of those good, healthy qualities you listed above, but if she hasn't worked through her own issues of low self-esteem, rejection, etc., then she will also find herself very attracted to men who support those things--men who reinforce her belief that she isn't worthy and who will reject her eventually.

A lot of people struggle with that one. They know what they want, and then there is what they are intensely attracted to for all the wrong reasons. Another example would be someone who wants a loving and healthy relationship but who also finds themselves drawn to someone who is either married or who won't commit and is, therefore, "unavailable." Some people even go so far as to say that the reason some men are attracted to lesbians is because they want something they can't have. Same type of thing.

Just my two cents ... :-)

Brooker
13-10-04, 07:26
Very well put and wise thoughts Satori *rep points awarded*. I, like so many others, have been attracted to girls who I know there could never (or should never) been a possibility of a future with. But I usually realize it quickly and my attraction to her fades. I don't know if I'm the exception or if it's that I'm getting wiser in my old (young?) age, but I think I'm genuinely attracted to the qualities that will be best for me in the end. Problem is (or maybe it's not a problem), I'm quick to end a relationship (or potential one) the moment I realize that she doesn't have the qualities I'm looking for. Sometimes I wish I didn't realize it so soon so that I could at least enjoy dating the person for a little while.

Satori
13-10-04, 08:05
Very well put and wise thoughts Satori *rep points awarded*. I, like so many others, have been attracted to girls who I know there could never (or should never) been a possibility of a future with. But I usually realize it quickly and my attraction to her fades. I don't know if I'm the exception or if it's that I'm getting wiser in my old (young?) age, but I think I'm genuinely attracted to the qualities that will be best for me in the end. Problem is (or maybe it's not a problem), I'm quick to end a relationship (or potential one) the moment I realize that she doesn't have the qualities I'm looking for. Sometimes I wish I didn't realize it so soon so that I could at least enjoy dating the person for a little while.

Thank you. :blush:
Actually, the reason I know of this is because I have been through this myself and, like you, I'm getting better at it, but it does still tend to be a problem at times. I also end things once I realize the person doesn't possess qualities I'm looking for. I think it is a matter of gaining wisdom but also of working through subconscious issues too, so that I'm less likely to attract unhealthy relationships into my life. For instance, I used to be quite the married man magnet! Still am, actually. I thought I had worked through that one, but occasionally I'll notice that I still find myself attracted to men who are otherwise involved elsewhere. It's tempting to say, "Well, maybe a brief involvement won't hurt anything," but of course the reality is it most likely would be a mistake. Even if you think it's going to be just one "experience," it almost invariably affects you more than you thought it would, and then you're in a mess! So I do know what you mean by wishing you didn't realize it so soon sometimes! :p

I think everyone's struggling with relationships in life. I truly don't know of many people who are involved in relationships that they find fulfilling. Probably what I have in common with married men at times. Some are in "comfortable" relationships, but not many people--single, married, or living together--are truly happy in that area of their lives. I guess I really don't worry about it as much as I used to, simply because of that fact. The most any of us can do is try to be happy with ourselves and our own lives, and then hopefully we'll be able to share that happiness with others in our lives as well. Besides, love has a way of finding us when we least expect it!

:-)

Brooker
13-10-04, 11:08
Well as far as relationships/marriage goes, I'd rather not do it at all and be lonely than do it the wrong way and be miserable.

Satori
13-10-04, 11:13
Well as far as relationships/marriage goes, I'd rather not do it at all and be lonely than do it the wrong way and be miserable.

That's exactly how I feel about it, and probably why I'm alone at the moment!! :p

Brooker
13-10-04, 11:21
Just watch out for those married men. That could easily turn into a bad scene for you, him, his family... it's just a real dangerous game, not worth to consequences. I think you know what's up though.

Satori
13-10-04, 11:24
Just watch out for those married men. That could easily turn into a bad scene for you, him, his family... it's just a real dangerous game, not worth to consequences. I think you know what's up though.

Oh, definitely! I was just commenting on the magnetic factor. :-)

Doc
22-02-05, 08:23
What does it mean where there is somebody who doesn't have any qualities that they are looking for in the opposite sex?

Doc

Ma Cherie
13-03-05, 07:45
I look for intelligence and I also would like a guy who has a certain code of ethics. And I also look for guys who have goals. Someone who is aimless is a huge turnoff for me. As far as looks go, well as long as he has a certain level of vanity, I'm okay with him. :p

ccg
16-03-05, 08:09
nothing.
the ones i like always not attracted to me.had given up.now only care about myself.

Doc
17-03-05, 10:57
Somebody who doesn't judge me.

Doc:ramen::happy:

phantasmagoria
27-03-05, 03:32
Feet >.< I hate feet, and belly buttons.. *shudder*

As a person, I'd want them to have depth, and understand what I'm on about (most people, if they get into a real conversation with me get lost very quickly... They just agree cause they don't know what's going on! I like it when people argue with me!!!), who'll have a debate, but who doesn't take themselves too seriously, that's just... wrong... They'd need to be fairly smart, too... My best friend has the perfect qualities of the kinda person I'd look for, although not physically (apart from that he's tall and skinny)... I do really like him that way, but we're stronger as friends anyway, I won't lose him in some stupid way if we stay friends!

Physically: Taller than me, skinny, feminine looking, preferably with nice hair and eyes... A really androgeonous (sp) guy would be vuury nice.

life
14-04-05, 02:38
i voted for compasion but if i may add some more, well, intelligence and humour.

Nightwalker
15-04-05, 02:38
I think fun I guess. There are some other things I would look for but he has to be fun. Tee hee. I don't have to worry about that though because my boyfriend is. *blush*

Flashjeff
15-04-05, 10:49
I voted for compassion, mainly because any woman who would be even moderately interested in a loser like me would have to have tons of compassion!
:D

toigaru
22-05-05, 02:10
Somebody who doesn't judge me.

Doc:ramen::happy:
Exactly, great expression...

Kara_Nari
25-05-05, 09:17
Oh dear, late again... Well I do remember someone mentioning earlobes, *ahem* ears are my favourite body part. They should be clean though, and not too ugly.
I love asian eyes too, with or without surgery.
Anyway I voted (yes, yes... very late) for fun. I would have chosen feet, but I havent seen too many guys with cute feet.
My boyfriend has really beautiful hands though... in hands I prefer delicate and long fingers with nice nails...
So hands and ears, and fun

Invictus_88
04-01-10, 04:34
No multiple options? Bad form.

himagain
31-10-11, 03:14
Honesty, a total lack of game playing. Moderately good looks and mental health. Willingness to give and take in a mature
fashion. An interest in fine art and classical music. She should enjoy swimming often, as I do.

rotunjere
25-11-11, 21:36
Weight only amounts to ONE PERCENT?? Oh come on... even FEET has TWO PERCENT. That is twice as much!!!

The last time i checked my junk mail, it was still filled with weight loss spam. After the billions of dollars I inherited of course.

Twilight
15-08-13, 03:59
I look for a woman whose atmosphere agrees with my stomach, otherwise I get a tummy ache. I tend to go for girls who we start out as friends then close in the bond slowly.

Power
11-02-14, 19:12
cute face , between 160 and 170cm , not obese , funny , loyal , likes children and dogs , always there for me

roseroser
08-08-14, 14:40
intelligience ;)

roseroser
08-08-14, 14:42
and humour of course ;)

ritageorge
20-08-14, 14:10
Agree! It would be a combination of certain characteristics and attributes that draws one to another

Goga
15-10-15, 01:44
I voted for compassion. And by that I mean mutualpsychological, spiritual and physical (sexual) connection & attraction (acceptance/respect) to each other.

Seanp
04-01-17, 15:33
For a long term relationship: Personal qualities, share of interests.
Short term: Big ass, nice feet, hourglass body, under 18% of body fat, hair quality.

Angela
04-01-17, 19:58
For a long term relationship: Personal qualities, share of interests.
Short term: Big ass, nice feet, hourglass body, under 18% of body fat, hair quality.

By all means go on some internet dating site and post this along with some picture of you wearing an "eastern barbarian" get up. See how long it is before you get any hits. You'll be old and grey, buddy. Thank God.

This is how genes don't get passed along. See, nowadays you can't just kill her male relatives and bop her over the head and drag her off to your yurt or cart or whatever.

Angela
04-01-17, 20:49
Here's what I look for in the opposite sex: intelligence, integrity, loyalty, compassion, passion, humor, charm if possible but that's secondary. I have to admit that good looks are also important, shallow as that is, preferably of the "stereotypical" southern European looking variety. He doesn't have to look like a movie star, but...

OK, I confess that there are also some trivial things which are and were, sadly, deal breakers. There are no second dates if:

He exhibits food quirks like: I don't eat that, I don't eat anything green, I'm a meat and potatoes man, I live on fast foods, I only eat...No picky, boring eaters please. Points are given if he loves Italian and French food.

He has bad grooming: I never and don't go for men who walk around looking like a basket of dirty laundry. Have some self respect and wear fitted, clean, pressed, reasonably becoming clothes. Get a decent haircut and wash your hair every day. Go to a doctor if you have problem skin...some fruits and green vegetables would probably help a lot. Ditto for problem teeth, and whiten them. Not everybody can be beautiful, but everybody can be well-groomed.

He is totally unfit, i.e. overweight. Control your eating and go to the gym. You don't want to look like some muscle bound dummy, but flab is a total turn off. Conversely, don't tell me you spend every hour you're not working at the gym. The most important muscle you have to exercise is the one between your ears.

He says things like, oh, I haven't spoken to my parents for months, or everybody in my family is divorced. Unless they abused you, there's no excuse for that, and if you don't know what a healthy marriage and family look like you won't know how to create one.

He not only wants to split the bill, he wants to pay only for what he ate, because his entree cost less than yours. In this case, I might even think it's ok to go to the ladies room and just never come back, and let him pay for the whole thing. If he's this stingy with money he's going to be stingy with his affections and everything else as well. Generosity goes with love.

He talks only about himself the whole time.

His head is constantly swiveling to look at every woman that passes by.

He's uninformed about world affairs, or conversely he is doctrinaire about his opinions, whether of the left or the right. No communist leaning socialists and no alt righters need apply.

I'll think of others. :)

The most important attribute, of course, is that he's in love with you.

arvistro
04-01-17, 21:21
@Angela, do you have some history with SeanP that made you reply in this way? :)

Because he did not say here anything that would contradict what science is saying (i.e. in very crude way - for short term women prefer muscular men, for long term personal qualities)

Angela
04-01-17, 21:52
@Angela, do you have some history with SeanP that made you reply in this way? :)

Because he did not say here anything that would contradict what science is saying (i.e. in very crude way - for short term women prefer muscular men, for long term personal qualities)

It's precisely the crudity that makes that statement a no no, and I assure you, Arvistro, were someone to express himself in that manner to women he'd be celibate forever. Even if he cleaned it up, it's better not to express yourself quite that baldly to women. It's one thing to say, I'm looking for someone "fit" and healthy. It's another thing to know someone is going to bring a scale with him or a machine to check percent body fat. What kind of nonsense is that?

As to the substance of what you're saying, I don't think it's an either/or scenario. I don't think most women have short term flings with hunks (and not all women did or do that at all, by the way, for any reason; I certainly never did) and then marry fat "nice" guys, not unless they have no other options, or, for the mercenary among women, the man has an absolutely huge bank account. That's not something I ever did or could do, for what it's worth. It smacks of prostitution to me.

Obviously, as my own list pointed out, there are a lot of qualities that I think are important besides looks, and indeed more important than looks, but unless someone is very uninterested in sex, how can appearance be totally unimportant? If you don't have "chemistry", a good sexual partnership, it's very difficult to sustain a long term relationship. Good sex binds you together, and smooths over the inevitable "difficult" moments. Without it, in my opinion, the relationship might last for whatever other reason, but one of you at least is going to be utterly miserable.

arvistro
05-01-17, 00:36
It's precisely the crudity that makes that statement a no no, and I assure you, Arvistro, were someone to express himself in that manner to women he'd be celibate forever. Even if he cleaned it up, it's better not to express yourself quite that baldly to women. It's one thing to say, I'm looking for someone "fit" and healthy. It's another thing to know someone is going to bring a scale with him or a machine to check percent body fat. What kind of nonsense is that?
Well, one thing is what you write on forums that you are preferring in short term relationships (which is body of certain type), and other thing is what you are telling to that body to get that short term relationship ;)
At least that is what I imagine. Not much experience with short term things :)



Obviously, as my own list pointed out, there are a lot of qualities that I think are important besides looks, and indeed more important than looks, but unless someone is very uninterested in sex, how can appearance be totally unimportant? If you don't have "chemistry", a good sexual partnership, it's very difficult to sustain a long term relationship. Good sex binds you together, and smooths over the inevitable "difficult" moments. Without it, in my opinion, the relationship might last for whatever other reason, but one of you at least is going to be utterly miserable.
I understand you. Good sex is important.

Angela
05-01-17, 00:57
Well, one thing is what you write on forums that you are preferring in short term relationships (which is body of certain type), and other thing is what you are telling to that body to get that short term relationship ;)
At least that is what I imagine. Not much experience with short term things :)




What wisdom, my dear Arvistro. I'm impressed. :) You need to share it with the clueless among your male friends.

I have no experience with short term things either. I'm far too old-fashioned and romantic. My comments are on some matters based on observation and confidences from others.

Where marriage and other long term relationships are concerned, if the "chemistry" isn't there, don't commit. It's not fair to the other person if nothing else.

firetown
05-01-17, 02:45
"The right energy" would be my vote if it was an option. If the energy is right, everything else will fall into place. Yes, many refer to it as "chemistry", but I consider it being a lot more than just that.

firetown
05-01-17, 02:50
I understand you. Good sex is important.

Also an example of things just working. Best compliment imo: "You are really not my type, but ..."

Seanp
05-01-17, 16:20
How would you rationalize if a woman finds a man attractive despite he humiliated and cheated her several times? If our feelings were rational and were in line with our expected standards then these wouldn't be "feelings"..

Most of our feelings are subconscious, and it's been assumed by many psychoanalysts we often seek role models in our life. If someone's father was an authoritarian person and used psychical harassment to form his daughter, then she lately will look for a guy subconsciously who resembles his dad, because in her mind He was someone to admire and obey in order to survive, in her deeper mind this works as a "program" and can't be changed only by months/years of psychoanalytical courses.

firetown
05-01-17, 16:58
And at the same time it depends a lot on a mother's connection to her son how open, able and ready he will be in adulthood to allow himself to form an emotional connection with women.

Angela
05-01-17, 17:27
How would you rationalize if a woman finds a man attractive despite he humiliated and cheated her several times? If our feelings were rational and were in line with our expected standards then these wouldn't be "feelings" [Edit to remove inappropriate language] This was a less extreme actually.

Most of our feelings are subconscious, and it's been assumed by many psychoanalysts we often seek role models in our life. If someone's father was an authoritarian person and used psychical harassment to form his daughter, then she lately will look for a guy subconsciously who resembles his dad, because in her mind He was someone to admire and obey in order to survive, in her deeper mind this works as a "program" and can't be changed only by months/years of psychoanalytical courses.

Clean up the language. This isn't a bar where you're hanging out with your buddies.

LeBrok
05-01-17, 18:09
Most of our feelings are subconscious, and it's been assumed by many psychoanalysts we often seek role models in our life. If someone's father was an authoritarian person and used psychical harassment to form his daughter, then she lately will look for a guy subconsciously who resembles his dad, More likely she is genetically like her mother, who picked a brute for a husband. In such case, daughter will be attracted to brute types too. Big part of sexual attraction and orientations is hardwired. We are born with it, and can't change it. On top of it there is bigger statistical chance that violent people congregate in same communities like slams or trailer parks, and have more violent friends than ordinary people. This increases their daughters merring violent men. And also by psychological point of view same characters and personalities create more attraction. In many of these marriages both parties are abusive and violent.




because in her mind He was someone to admire and obey in order to survive, in her deeper mind this works as a "program" and can't be changed only by months/years of psychoanalytical courses.Psychological mumbo-jumbo. Typical freudian conclusions coming from not understanding human mind. As their could be a psychological effect of victim bonding to abuser on some level, it is far away from causing sexual attraction and marrying same type as abuser as father.

Angela
05-01-17, 20:12
One more proof of how men and women are hard wired differently.

Ashley Madison is an online site for "cheaters". In other words, for people just looking for some sex outside their relationship or marriage.

There are 31 million male subscribers, and the site says there are about 5.5 million female subscribers.

Except there aren't. Hackers have gotten into the internal data and claim that most of those female subscribers are fakes, created by bots. Almost none of the supposed female subscribers actually respond to any approaches or make any themselves.

Surprise, surprise.

Ten to one the creators are men.

"The data showed 20 million men had checked messages on Ashley Madison, compared with only 1,492 women. For the chat system, 11 million men logged on but only 2,409 women did so, Gizmodo found.The Gizmodo team also found that many of the IP addresses for females could be traced back to Ashley Madison itself and that the most popular female last name in the database was "an extremely unusual one, which matched the name of a woman who worked at the company about 10 years ago."
The report said that because women did not pay to join, the only way to get a true sense of the number of active females was to know how many paid to delete their accounts—a number just over 12,000."

12,000 versus 31 million. Need one say more?

http://phys.org/news/2015-08-cheater-website-ashley-madison-women.html#nRlv

firetown
06-01-17, 06:32
What exactly is this saying other than women being much smarter than to put their information out on a site proving they are willing to be unfaithful?

Azzurro
07-01-17, 07:07
This is going to be something that differs from person to person, for me personally, there is 3 factors that are important, intelligence definitely you want to be able to have a conversation with the person you date/eventually marry, looks are important too don't get me wrong you have to be attracted to the woman you date, but keep in mind looks do fade, you won't be as good looking as you did in your 20's. So for me it's intelligence, looks and character as the three, you need to be able to able to get along and willing to accept the other persons interests and passions.

Highlander
10-06-17, 12:37
More likely she is genetically like her mother, who picked a brute for a husband. In such case, daughter will be attracted to brute types too. Big part of sexual attraction and orientations is hardwired. We are born with it, and can't change it. On top of it there is bigger statistical chance that violent people congregate in same communities like slams or trailer parks, and have more violent friends than ordinary people. This increases their daughters merring violent men. And also by psychological point of view same characters and personalities create more attraction. In many of these marriages both parties are abusive and violent.

But are sexual preferences really hardwired or merely constructed by association then? Can hardwiring explain bi-racial couples for example? Or why siblings, of the same parents and raised in the same household, can’t quite agree on their 'type' [/preference] for sexual partners?

Highlander
11-06-17, 18:11
Ethnicity/culture – Is first. Even as a teenager I didn’t have any interest in boys, later men, who weren’t Jewish (Ashkenazi), Italian or a type of French. Or whose ancestry consisted mainly of such ancestry.

Intelligence – being rather intelligent myself I have always sought that. One can only hold a conversation with themselves, despite the blank-eyed people also in the room, for so long before it becomes tedious.

Creativity/originality – I am creative, naturally artistic. I prefer someone who has some creativity in their bones. And as important is ‘originality’ or can think for themselves. If I wanted someone to recite scripted information [e.g. the news] at me I’d turn on the BBC.

The rest, by order:
All-round Personality [compassion, etc.]
Career
Family life
Appearance – you can very easily change your appearance; just look at what makeup artists can do. But can you as easily change what [personality, mannerism, etc.] really counts?

Highlander
11-06-17, 18:24
More likely she is genetically like her mother, who picked a brute for a husband. In such case, daughter will be attracted to brute types too. Big part of sexual attraction and orientations is hardwired. We are born with it, and can't change it. On top of it there is bigger statistical chance that violent people congregate in same communities like slams or trailer parks, and have more violent friends than ordinary people. This increases their daughters merring violent men. And also by psychological point of view same characters and personalities create more attraction. In many of these marriages both parties are abusive and violent.


This caught my attention. So I'll ask the questions. Is sexual attraction really hardwired then? Or is it merely constructed via association?

Both 'hardwiring' and 'growing up with it' can contribute to someone marrying an abusive/brutish spouse. While even siblings can have very different preferences.


I said above I only really had interest for a certain ethnicity/culture. Sure there's some connection. I am of Ashkenazi ancestry (maternally) & dad is of French/Italian ancestry. But I always viewed that 'interest' as more due to an association - given where I grew up & those I grew up amongst - than any sort of 'hardwiring'. Between the man, mostly of Ashkenazi ancestry, I have been involved with for years & dad the only thing they truly share is both are physically big men [tall & broad] and their intelligence. Personality, careers, mannerism, ethnicity, etc. are all different.

But a British friend, for another example, grew up in Japan. Would it be association or hardwiring why, even after moving back to England, he chose to marry a Japanese woman?

LeBrok
25-10-17, 22:45
This caught my attention. So I'll ask the questions. Is sexual attraction really hardwired then? Or is it merely constructed via association?

Both 'hardwiring' and 'growing up with it' can contribute to someone marrying an abusive/brutish spouse. While even siblings can have very different preferences.


I said above I only really had interest for a certain ethnicity/culture. Sure there's some connection. I am of Ashkenazi ancestry (maternally) & dad is of French/Italian ancestry. But I always viewed that 'interest' as more due to an association - given where I grew up & those I grew up amongst - than any sort of 'hardwiring'. Between the man, mostly of Ashkenazi ancestry, I have been involved with for years & dad the only thing they truly share is both are physically big men [tall & broad] and their intelligence. Personality, careers, mannerism, ethnicity, etc. are all different.

But a British friend, for another example, grew up in Japan. Would it be association or hardwiring why, even after moving back to England, he chose to marry a Japanese woman?
In this context, hardwired means that this knowledge sits in DNA. DNA builds the your brain, creates main architecture of your brain with primal instincts. If it comes to sexual attractiveness of all the people on earth, I'm sure the hourglass body shape for women, or muscular statue of men, and nice smooth skin, red lips, young look, is hardwired. Many more things too, but it is hard to be certain at our current knowledge base.

AdeoF
25-10-17, 22:56
For me it would really be more about how well I am connected with the opposite sex, if it's only one way then It's not very easy/can't do it to be honest. Someone who is fun and can connect very well. I mostly look for Europeans really since I can learn something from them every time so yeah I would say intelligence, compassion,humor and romance for my opinion.


btw Cute is a great bonus too

Jovialis
26-10-17, 01:09
What do I look for in the opposite sex? Beauty, intelligence, culture, honesty, and a big butt :)

I just recently met a girl that has all of these attributes, and she's Italian too (fluent in the language too), from Ponza. :heart:

AdeoF
26-10-17, 01:35
What do I look for in the opposite sex? Beauty, intelligence, culture, honesty, and a big butt :)

I just recently met a girl that has all of these attributes, and she's Italian too, from Ponza. :heart:

Nice one man that sounds great man, hopefully it will go well with her :good_job:

halfalp
27-10-17, 13:53
For me, i think it's very progressive. First, i have to be physically attracted. Secondly, humour, culture, are a must have for merely anoybody i believe. The last but not least, we have to be very reciprocal to each other, so both see to the other something that we dont ( or dont want [ because only attracted to that person ] to ) see in other people.

SaolSeo
09-11-17, 01:51
Looks - red hair. My "type", 1st had dark auburn hair.

Intelligence
Culture/Personality
Job/Goals

noman
09-11-17, 03:40
I demand Cooking 😁

Jovialis
09-11-17, 03:43
I demand Cooking 😁

I think both should know how to cook, though. Take turns; help each other as a team.

I like to prepare food for people. It's something I would like to master.

timetraveller
24-11-17, 16:04
intelligence and weight, I am not really into overweight guy :D

Lora
20-11-18, 09:48
I wasn't original. Voted for the look and intelligence

BlackDog
10-12-18, 03:14
In this context, hardwired means that this knowledge sits in DNA. DNA builds the your brain, creates main architecture of your brain with primal instincts. If it comes to sexual attractiveness of all the people on earth, I'm sure the hourglass body shape for women, or muscular statue of men, and nice smooth skin, red lips, young look, is hardwired. Many more things too, but it is hard to be certain at our current knowledge base.

Such things are cultural not genetic.

In some countries, regions, & tribal areas as example severe body modification - such as the "long" neck modification of the Padaung, the larger a plate a Mursi woman can fit in her stretched bottom lip the better, or the purposely breaking & taping of Chinese women's feet to be as small as possible - is attractive & other concepts of beauty (muscular bodies, rosy cheeks, hourglass shape, etc.) are either irrelevant or simply not appealing.

Margaret
08-02-19, 10:33
It is very important that a person be close to you in spirit. Sex or money or something else is already an adjective. Life will be boring if it is not YOUR man or woman!