PDA

View Full Version : Something that moved me...



smoke
09-03-05, 21:11
Today my father visited a close friend of his in hopital.
His friend (aged 79) has had numerous medical problems recently including an operation on his prostrate which has led to bouts of diaorreha, a constant need to visit the bathroom (which prevents him from travelling for long periods of time) and ineviatable weight loss.

Some weeks ago my father's friend awoke one morning and noticed how his big toe on one foot felt cold and had become pale (completely white actually) and without thinking too much of it simply put on an extra sock. The next morning he awoke and realised that two of his toes felt cold and had tunred white.
He visited his doctor who referred him to a specialist. After tests it was discovered that he had a blot clot (in the foot itself i believe). He had an accident he had many years ago (over 20) where he fell from a ladder and shattered the bones in his ankle. Since that time he kept active, even after retirement, by gardening, walking, the odd bit of DIY and by working part time for his son's company.
In more recent times he has been resting (due to the aftermath of his prostrate operation) and has, obviously been less active. They believed it was this period of rest that caused the blood to clot (bearing in mind he is an old man).
Unfortunately the only solution was to amputate, not just the toes, but the whole foot.
When my father went to visit him today i could sense he was anxious about seeing him. A close friend in a terrible situation...i don't think he really knew how to act. My father is quite a typical 'bloke' (sorry if this doesn't translate past the UK) so emotions aren't his strong point.
After visitng him he was telling me how he was just like his old self...i think 'full of beans' was the term he used! He was cracking jokes about odd socks and 'pussy footing'.
it was great to hear that a man who had gone through such a bad time could still smile, with a genuine smile.

i think it puts a lot of things in perspective.

enix_fan
09-03-05, 21:44
Hmm well that was interesting. Your father sounds like healthy man.

kirei_na_me
09-03-05, 21:56
That's great, smoke. I don't think I could have that kind of healthy attitude after having a foot removed. I might be drowning in self-pity if that happened to me.

My grandma had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago and then had to have a catherization and stents put in and all that, and the day she came home, she was trying to get back to normal. She was joking and being her jolly self even when she was in the hospital, too. It was pretty amazing.

And I can understand about your father being a typical "bloke"... :p I know a lot of those.

misa.j
09-03-05, 23:07
Hey smoke, thanks for sharing a story.
I am amazed how strong and positive some people are, too.
My husband's boss has lost his right arm from a snowmobile accident, had a head injury and almost would have lost his life if the accident hadn't happened right next to a hospital, and if the fisherman who found him wouldn't have been there.

After he came out of the hospital, his right hand started to feel numb and turned purple from blood clots; his whole arm had to be removed.
He is one of those people who likes to do everything by himself even if it is 10 times harder. He wouldn't ask for a help.

He said, "Kids are the best. They just ask me 'What happend to your arm?' They don't try to pretend as if they know. HA HA HA!!!"

TwistedMac
09-03-05, 23:17
I saw a 60 year old man on discovery lose both his hands and a foot in a motorcycle accident.

as they were rushing him into the hospital he kept asking if he hurt anyone else..

as he left the hospital he wheeled himself out on the wheelchair pushing the doors open with his elbows. He was in a great mood saying stuff like "don't worry about me, I can still handle myself.. see?"

As it turned out the accident wasn't even his fault, yet he was so worried anyone else had gotten hurt while he was bleeding out most of his blood... I see those people as inspirational, and agree they do move you.

smoke
10-03-05, 14:12
thanks everyone for sharing there stories.
i decided to post it here because, in a way, it made me realise that my life's struggles (although a problem to me) are very trivial in the scheme of tings.
sometimes i can not help but think that things that seem so impossible to deal with and it takes something like this to slap some sense back into me!
i'd like to think that i would be like this if something so tragic happened to me...but i imagine that i too would be full of self pity!

Mycernius
10-03-05, 17:49
My garndfather had the same reaction when they had to remove one of his eyes due to a tumour. He still played bowls after the operation and if he beat someone he would say 'not bad for a man with one eye'

Duo
10-03-05, 19:04
Hmm, not to diminish anyone's hero so to speak, but i'd say that probaply we would also act in a similar way. Because when something like that happens to you, how do you deal with it ? You can either let it drive you to your end or you joke and face it. It's a common defense mechanism. But yeah, I agree with smoke that my "problems" are nothing in comparison to what some people have to face. Sometimes I worry about school or like things aren't going so well now in my personal life so that puts me down a bit, but really sometimes it makes me feel quite stupid to worry about minor things like this while I still have my health and that of my family.

Ma Cherie
10-03-05, 21:27
Let me just say that this is something to think about. Going through something like and still having a positive outlook on life is truly amazing. But it also teaches us that we cannot let these type of things get us down, not matter how hard it is not to. :-)

smoke
10-03-05, 21:48
Hmm, not to diminish anyone's hero so to speak, but i'd say that probaply we would also act in a similar way. Because when something like that happens to you, how do you deal with it ? You can either let it drive you to your end or you joke and face it. It's a common defense mechanism. But yeah, I agree with smoke that my "problems" are nothing in comparison to what some people have to face. Sometimes I worry about school or like things aren't going so well now in my personal life so that puts me down a bit, but really sometimes it makes me feel quite stupid to worry about minor things like this while I still have my health and that of my family.
no worry is stupid. if a worry was stupid it would not be a worry...everything is relative.
i do believe that we take the things we have (health, family) for granted and we tend to concentrate on the things we don't (in my case, money). i think it's a natural human attribute (hence why people can never have enough money) and it takes a life changing, or near death, experience to make us realise what is truly important.
i don't think anyone can say how they would act when faced with a situation that is, unimaginable. because until we are in that situation we would never know how to act.
my opinion anyway!

Index
11-03-05, 13:29
Hmm, not to diminish anyone's hero so to speak, but i'd say that probaply we would also act in a similar way. Because when something like that happens to you, how do you deal with it ? You can either let it drive you to your end or you joke and face it. It's a common defense mechanism. But yeah, I agree with smoke that my "problems" are nothing in comparison to what some people have to face. Sometimes I worry about school or like things aren't going so well now in my personal life so that puts me down a bit, but really sometimes it makes me feel quite stupid to worry about minor things like this while I still have my health and that of my family.

I can understand your point Duo, but it's not as easy as you think. I had a big motorbike accident in Japan a year and a half ago and spent three months in hospital afterwards. Though I didn't lose my leg, at one point there was a fifty/fifty chance that they would amputate from my knee. I still have it, but I 've lost my tibialis anterior muscle which means I can't lift my foot. Also I can't feel most of my foot, and to be honest there's not much movement. To add to that I lost all the ligaments in my knee because it was dislocated in the accident...
...One of the biggest difficulties to overcome was self pity. I'm 90% over it now, but it was hard and took at least a year before I could see beyond my situation and stop feeling negative all the time. It's easy to say what you said, and I would have probably said the same thing two years ago, but unfortunately it's not that easy. Smoke's story was inspiring I think.

Duo
11-03-05, 15:13
Sorry to hear about this and my respect to you for getting over it. Maybe I expressed myself wrongly, I do beleive that it's very hard to get over things like this, sometimes for me it takes a bit of effort to get over meaningless things, but what I was trying to say is that probaly a lot of us, like you, would eventually act in the same way and try to face the issue and deal with it. I mean it's in our nature, it's our will to live that will take over, perhaps our strongest instinct, the will to live can be a very powerful driving force. But again, I'm not trying to diminish the courage and effort of all these other unlucky individuals.

smoke
11-03-05, 20:23
Sorry to hear about this and my respect to you for getting over it. Maybe I expressed myself wrongly, I do beleive that it's very hard to get over things like this, sometimes for me it takes a bit of effort to get over meaningless things, but what I was trying to say is that probaly a lot of us, like you, would eventually act in the same way and try to face the issue and deal with it. I mean it's in our nature, it's our will to live that will take over, perhaps our strongest instinct, the will to live can be a very powerful driving force. But again, I'm not trying to diminish the courage and effort of all these other unlucky individuals.
i understand what you are saying and in a way i agree with you.

i think it takes something to lift us from self pity. whether it be the love of/from another...determination (which in my experience is had to find when you are wallowing)...it could be anything, it can be gradual or instant.

self pity is something that is easier to get into rather than get out of.

Void
26-03-05, 19:47
i watched the news today, there was a story about 16 years old kid who suffers from cerebral paralysis. He published a book, some fairy story i think.
he wrote it since he was 12 all on his own, didn`t let even parents to help, pressing the buttons with his nose, `cause his hands doesn`t obey him

it is hard to overcome self -pity when your life changes dramatically, but how to believe in yourself when your life is drama from the very beginning...

:?

smoke
30-03-05, 20:23
i watched the news today, there was a story about 16 years old kid who suffers from cerebral paralysis. He published a book, some fairy story i think.
he wrote it since he was 12 all on his own, didn`t let even parents to help, pressing the buttons with his nose, `cause his hands doesn`t obey him

it is hard to overcome self -pity when your life changes dramatically, but how to believe in yourself when your life is drama from the very beginning...

:?
i think like most creatures...we adapt to survive.
I believe when you are born with something as terrible as cerebral paralysis, you don't know of a life different to that...not first hand anyway...so you live YOUR life however you can.
i am knocking the guy at all...what he has done is an amazing achievement for someone who isn't suffering in the way he is, let alone who is.

his struggle is awe inspiring.

Void
25-07-05, 19:07
Went to visit my friend at the hospital today. He had to run 'dropping' treatment (how the hell this staff named in english?), `cause of severe exacerbation. He has diabetes. I suspected, but never asked, today found that was not like this from his childhood, more allochthonic, in recent years (though, there is some genetic background)
"For how long?" i asked meaning how much more to stay at hospital
"till the rest of the life" - he joked about his malum

I know him for a few years, he always tries to look and act cool. But today inspite of all the cheering i felt the bitterness within him.
It must be very hard to find out some day that a lot has changed in your life and you must accept it and go on

we spend billions on military and still can change little in lives of those who suffer cancer, diabetes and other serious health problems :souka:

Iron Chef
25-07-05, 21:16
Check out this site and download the trailer if you all get a chance. Pretty interesting stuff about a bunch of guys who got handed a raw deal and learned how to cope the only way they knew how: through fierce competition. Not an ounce of self-pity to be found anywhere, heh.

http://www.murderballmovie.com/