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oriental
01-06-13, 01:28
Notice how one feels excited at a new toy, food, clothing etc.? After a while, say a week or two, maybe even months the same feeling is gone for the "new toy" or food.

I think the chemical in one's body builds up and there is a saturation point where the body begins to reject the chemical or vision or whatever. I think that is how "familiarity breeds contempt" comes from. The body needs variety and small doses of one's favorite. One can't eat lobster day in day out. You would puke after a few months of lobster. I experienced that.

I think human relationship also follows this phenomenon.

Any comments?

Grubbe
01-06-13, 11:51
I think this is a bit complex. While I agree concerning food; human relationship is not a "thing" in the same way, because we are evolving. Therefore, human relationship doesn't need to be boring after a while, at least if there has been more than sex connecting two people. But sex is like food: You can be really quite bored after a while, if there are no other feelings.

oriental
01-06-13, 19:56
Let us look at odour. People can smell a person who has bad breath but the person with bad breath cannot. Well, imagine a light bulb i.e. our smell senses lights up whenever a smell is detected. The body produces a constant smell in effect the light bulb burns out. Thus the bad breath is not detected by the person. The bad breath smell is "dead" for the person. But other people could smell the bad breath as that smell is not continuous for others.

With human relationship it could also be similar. The constant presence may dull the beauty and overtime the new undetected flaws begin to be noticed. Maybe the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" may be this break from constant input of the same data that is deadened.

One cannot live 24 hours with a person. I knew a former employer who had a beautiful wife. However, she worked in his firm as secretary but she was unofficial "boss" despite her title. They had terrible arguments when alone. It would be better if she didn't work in the office but I gave no advice as I was there temporarily.

Grubbe
01-06-13, 20:46
One cannot live 24 hours with a person. I knew a former employer who had a beautiful wife. However, she worked in his firm as secretary but she was unofficial "boss" despite her title. They had terrible arguments when alone. It would be better if she didn't work in the office but I gave no advice as I was there temporarily. I think this has something with lack of input. There are many good reasons why a couple ought to work apart; one of them is that they get to know other people and other ideas and thoughts. When back from work it could be enriching to talk to one another of the different experiences they had during the day.

oriental
01-06-13, 21:13
This guy was cheap even though he was a millionaire. There are other issues as she was an alcoholic and their son was born during her binges and the son seems retarded but very good looking. Sad. There is that hidden anger on his part probably. Even the Canadian-American comedian Jim Carrey with Jenny McCarthy had a son with Autism, I think. Jim Carrey is older and so is she i.e. not in their twenties. He is in his forties or fifties while she is in her late thirties or even forty. I believe older parents bring about autism to their offspring. If she had been 18 or 19 I think the child would be normal. I had a Chinese friend whose father was in his late 60s when he was born but his mother was quite young. He is normal. His father was one of those rich Chinese before the Communists took over. He had four wives. One of his sons from his other wives was old enough to be my friend's father (45 while my friend was 18 at the time). This was long ago.

hope
02-06-13, 18:25
The body needs variety and small doses of one's favorite.

oriental, keep me a front row seat when you try to sell this line to your partner ! lol :)


On a more serious note, I don`t think the "novelty" goes out of all relationships per say, rather it evolves. [not sure I would use the word "novelty" but as you have I`ll go with that]
When first you begin a relationship with someone, there is that period when you are, let`s say on a high. All is good.
After a period of time, you may begin to notice small faults with the other person, you may "re-evaluate" your initial perception of them. If there are no faults either side might perceive as deal breakers, the relationship will likely progress. This, for some is where the relationship "proper" begins. The initial "novelty", in many cases gives way to a more comfortable relationship. We can learn new things regarding the other, and our own expectations as the relationship goes on.
In my opinion it is vital to talk regarding what you both hope to attain in the future, both on a personal level and as a pair before making any long term commitment.




One can't eat lobster day in day out.

No, you can`t....it`s too expensive to have every-day:)

oriental
03-06-13, 03:49
it`s too expensive to have every-day

It was in a restaurant near Rockefeller Center when I was student on a summer job. We were restricted to one lobster a month or week. I began seeing others eating lobster all the time so I did the same. No one said anything. After a few weeks I got tired of the lobster as it didn't taste as good as when I first had it. I switched to other stuff to taste the various lunches. It was posh restaurant all the CBS people went there for lunch. You should see the tips $20-$100 or more sometimes. The waiters were nice guys. I was a busboy and I got tips too. I got $5-$10 serving only the lunch period. The evening I worked on 6th Avenue hotel and was the first time I saw a Playboy Bunny walk by. The Playboy Club was near Rockefeller Center. I didn't know she was a Playboy Bunny. The staff at the hotel told me as she regularly walks by. They pointed her out to me and I realized it was that girl that walked by. There were movie stars at the hotel and they were shooting two movies at the hotel. I was one of the elevator operator. This was one of the few hotels that kept the manual elevators. Lots of businessmen used to ask me where the "action" was. I didn't know so I asked the other operator what it meant and he answered they were looking for girls. Of course, I didn't know any. Amazing how many black girls I took up to these businessmen.


The body needs variety and small doses of one's favorite

I was talking about food. Anyway, I knew one Italian guy whom all the girls loved and he told me he didn't want to commit to any single girl as he rationalized 'you don't know when a really beautiful would come around the corner'. I was nowhere as good looking nor charming as him. All the girls were very good looking. Some guys have all the 'luck' or good fortune of having great looks.

oriental
04-06-13, 00:01
The body needs variety and small doses of one's favorite.
This does not necessarily mean a different person but one can spice things up by going to different places doing things differently. Some employees get a kick by making out in off-office hours on the boss' desk. :embarassed::petrified: