PDA

View Full Version : Mom wants me to marry her bestfriend's son



EloisaMellen25
17-09-18, 03:51
Here in Asia, arranged marriage is not new anymore. And to my family, it’s something that we need to follow. Yes, it is a culture of our lineage that we need to embrace and respect. Trust me, it is never a good idea.

Last month, my mom planned a blind date for me. She set me up for a romantic dinner with her best friend’s son. She even organized a vacation for the two of us to make sure that we get along together. Her ideas were lame, and I even read those from an international dating blog for hopeless romantic individuals.

Well, if you are curious what happened after that vacation - NOTHING. I don’t like him and I know he feels the same way. But what should I tell my mom? Is it a good idea to confront her about choosing for myself? About choosing for the right man to marry? Need help!

Panda
17-09-18, 04:03
My mom did this too. I said no thanks but the plans and arrangements went on. I just wished them good luck at the wedding and to tell me how it went. When they realized I was a "no show" for everything they had no choice but to drop their delusional ideas. I suggest you follow your heart and marry one you love to spend the rest of your life with. This isn't a friendship play date a parent can set up. It's about wanting to be there for each other and loving each other through the ups and downs. It's not about agreeing to spend the rest of your life with a stranger trying to love them which may or may not ever work.

don_joe
17-09-18, 14:57
What if she has a dispute once with her best friend? It happens too and friends are quickly no more friends. Would she ask you to divorce the guy then? [emoji16]

LeBrok
18-09-18, 02:29
Tell your parents that you want to concentrate on education and important career first, and they will need to postpone the wedding date. You agree but it needs to wait. Sort of win-win.

EloisaMellen25
18-09-18, 07:43
My mom did this too. I said no thanks but the plans and arrangements went on. I just wished them good luck at the wedding and to tell me how it went. When they realized I was a "no show" for everything they had no choice but to drop their delusional ideas. I suggest you follow your heart and marry one you love to spend the rest of your life with. This isn't a friendship play date a parent can set up. It's about wanting to be there for each other and loving each other through the ups and downs. It's not about agreeing to spend the rest of your life with a stranger trying to love them which may or may not ever work.

I really don't like the idea of arrange marriage and having someone to force me to marry is a big NO. I am the actor of my own life and I'll decide who and when to marry. Thank you for your experience, and I might do the same. Have a great one!

Kaser
01-03-19, 03:20
My mother did something similar, she found a match for me, a girl from a wealthy family (nearly everyone was a doctor, quite rare), but I refused, I didn't want to date someone for what they own or are, seems unfair to begin with. las thing I heard from the girl she have put some serious weight :(

matty74
01-03-19, 04:13
I really don't like the idea of arrange marriage and having someone to force me to marry is a big NO. I am the actor of my own life and I'll decide who and when to marry. Thank you for your experience, and I might do the same. Have a great one!

So, how did that turn out?

Carlos
01-03-19, 13:44
These are ideas that already seem outdated for our "modern" era, but I think that arranged marriages are an excellent system since they fight singleness, they pick up young people towards a family life, taking them out of a multitude of dangers that exist today. It is a good match for both boyfriends and more chances of social success. In any case it is impossible to come back.