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mad pierrot
12-03-04, 07:24
Condolences. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.


Any thoughts, comments? This might be old but I just saw it for the first time this week. Funny but sad, eh?

Winter
12-03-04, 19:49
Thats absolutely brilliant.

Frank D. White
12-03-04, 21:54
mourn the loss!!

Frank
:( :( :( :(

kirei_na_me
12-03-04, 22:01
No kidding, Frank.

den4
12-03-04, 22:57
You mean there was something common with the senses? :D
I was under the impression that there were the five senses that nobody paid much attention to until they were unable to use those particular senses. The blind sometimes see better than the "sighted" ones; the deaf are "aware" of their surroundings and the people they communicate with more than those that can hear; American folks add too much sugar and salt in their foods, but still lack taste by drinking gallons of diet drinks; men and women still don't comprehend each other after all these aeons, and yet their feelings through the sense of touch supposedly hasn't diminished any...and the ghastly amounts of perfume or "scents" that some folks insist on putting onto themselves is probably where the Jpop singer Gackt got his name from when he went past a women's dressing room before a performance :D

Common Sense, like privacy, is an illusion...just like lunch time was for Ford Prefect of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the GAlaxy :D

Frank D. White
12-03-04, 23:04
buy that book so I can find the true meaning of life!!

Frank

:o

mad pierrot
13-03-04, 02:00
Damn good book! The monkey is right!

Eternal Wind
13-03-04, 09:31
Hmmmmm............

*goes off finding the book*

nikki_the_insane
07-04-04, 04:38
You don't realize how important something is or how lucky you are to have it until you've lost it. I wish I had realized that piece of common sense I lost awhile back, now I can't find it. :P

den4
07-04-04, 18:01
Damn good book! The monkey is right!
Who you calling a monkey! I come from a race of respectable hair dressers and tired TV salesmen and used car salespeople... :D

Rachel
07-04-04, 18:12
Brilliant !!
I like it lots. :D And it's so true.

dreamer
07-04-04, 21:40
where can i find the book?? :note:

den4
08-04-04, 04:32
check your local sub-etha wave bands to see if they carry the electronic version of The Guide, but if not, then you can also try http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/ or your local bookstore....
if they don't carry the book, or offer cheap copies of the Encyclopaedia Galactica, then you may be forced to see if you can find the CDs of the actual radio series done by the BBC back in the early '80's. I know they had sold it at one time, since I have the CDs...and they are much better and funnier than the books or TV series ever managed to be...

kuchi
13-04-04, 04:17
R.I.P.-well miss you

Hildebrand
19-05-10, 18:37
:laughing:

I still found this hilarious although it's very old. Kudos to mad pierrot for posting this.

^ lynx ^
19-05-10, 21:04
This is actually new to me. Thanks for posting. :lol:

Cambrius (The Red)
19-05-10, 21:12
Terrific post!

jdanel
29-01-11, 21:29
Right on target. I think this relates to a posting about ridiculous laws in another thread.