Forgiveness

How far would you be prepared to forgive a friend, who had hurt you more deeply than any stranger could?

First, I Would Make 2 New Friends To...

replace the old one! Then if I had time left for the old friend, I'd fit em in on a trial basis. If they tried hard to earn my friendship back,I would try to let them back in my life. There would always be at least an invisible barrier
between us; that original trust just couldn't be totally repaired.
I guess to be fair, I would run the friend's actions through my head a thousand different ways to see if somehow I had caused the problem. I guess if I found them TOTALLY blameless, I WOULD have to forgive them!

Frank

DIDO FRANK! great minds think alike....i wonder who the other great mind is...

Hmmm ... that's an interesting question and one I've thought of quite often. It wouldn't be difficult to forgive someone who had wronged me, as I could appreciate their limits in life and how that would cause them to make mistakes--intentional or not. However, that doesn't mean I would necessarily have anything to do with them again once forgiven, as it would most likely be very difficult for me to forget about the fact that they had wronged me. Forgiving and forgetting don't necessarily go hand-in-hand. It would depend on how sincere they were in their apology, how committed they were to changing their ways, and also how dedicated they were to making things up to me, I guess. And then time would only tell ...

What if it was a family member (not husband/wife but blood family)? Would you forgive them just to keep the peace in the family? Tough one I guess....

No not necesarily, family and blood wouldn't make any difference to me. How can there be any peace in either if you hold a grudge in your own head? But as said before it all depends on what is done afterwards and what had been done to you.

i am one to always forgive, but never forget.

Forgive?

Do it. It takes more courage.

it really depends on the situation...but generally as a rule i do try my best to forgive and forget, friends are too important

I agree, Sometimes it a general accident [speaking about me this past week] and depending on the situation that person could or should not be forgiven. You can tell by looking in that person's eyes if he or she is sincere about the apology.
Eyes are the windows to your soul and can't lie....
That person appreciates what he has a WHOLE lot more once he gets it back.
Believe me.
[calls his "boupei" at 8:34 a.m.]

I have forgiven people many times and people have forgiven me. I'm with mad pierrot. It takes more courage to forgive. Of course, if someone has to keep saying they're sorry, their credibility with me starts to dwindle. That's when I start forming a kind of immunity to whoever it is. I keep my distance as a defense mechanism in order not to get hurt again.

Word.

There is a big difference between forgiveness and stupidity, although people often mistake kindness for blindness.

Rachel said:

who had hurt you more deeply than any stranger could ?

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When I had once complained about the injustice of the backstabbing by a trusted one, someone pointed out that only somebody close could inflict a major injury. Also was pointed out, in the case the perp. didn't deserve the friendship in retroflex, why (s)he was allowed to get close enough. This implies that I too am responsible.

It can also be said there is no preventing a deceptive, planned, compulsively carried out breach of trust because relationships are meant to work assuming trust. With the exception of exceptional individuals, a relationship based on mistrust or partial trust isn't normally expected. To overcome the obvious dangers, various means of adjusting a moderate distance would be useful. "There's no such thing as instant friendship" is another sobering warining I think about.

What's that age-old adage? "To err is human, to forgive is divine..." or something along those lines. While forgiveness may indeed be a virtue and something one should strive and aspire to, I find some things to be unforgivable. A better man might be able to let go of all the hatred, anger, and resentment for past injustices... but I ain't him. 8-p

How far would you be prepared to forgive a friend, who had hurt you more deeply than any stranger could?

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it depends on hers(his) intentions and my 'damages'

I guess to be fair, I would run the friend's actions through my head a thousand different ways to see if somehow I had caused the problem. I guess if I found them TOTALLY blameless, I WOULD have to forgive them!

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careful examination sure helps, but there is no such thing as "totally blameless" . Anytime a 'spot' can be found. Does it mean then - never to forgive?

Whenever you feel like critisizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven`t had the advantages that you`ve had.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

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nobody perfect. Am i? Certainly, not. In many cases i can forgive.

sorry, but

it`s just struck my mind

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It would depend on what they did to me. If it was something that I could get over fairly easily I would slowly forgive them, but I would remember. If it was truely hurtful, then I don't think I could. I tend to nurse grudges to people who have hurt me, either physically (I could never forgive the bullies from school) or emotionally.

I have done some pretty bad things in my time and been forgiven, so it would be hypocritical for me not to forgive. But that doesn't mean it's easy!

If someone really hurt me then i dont think i could forgive them. I might want to after a long time but i dont think i could actually forgive them completely.