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Rachel
04-04-04, 21:42
How far would you be prepared to forgive a friend, who had hurt you more deeply than any stranger could?

Frank D. White
04-04-04, 22:46
replace the old one! Then if I had time left for the old friend, I'd fit em in on a trial basis. If they tried hard to earn my friendship back,I would try to let them back in my life. There would always be at least an invisible barrier
between us; that original trust just couldn't be totally repaired.
I guess to be fair, I would run the friend's actions through my head a thousand different ways to see if somehow I had caused the problem. I guess if I found them TOTALLY blameless, I WOULD have to forgive them!

Frank

Hypertokyo5
05-04-04, 06:56
DIDO FRANK! great minds think alike....i wonder who the other great mind is...

Satori
05-04-04, 07:03
Hmmm ... that's an interesting question and one I've thought of quite often. It wouldn't be difficult to forgive someone who had wronged me, as I could appreciate their limits in life and how that would cause them to make mistakes--intentional or not. However, that doesn't mean I would necessarily have anything to do with them again once forgiven, as it would most likely be very difficult for me to forget about the fact that they had wronged me. Forgiving and forgetting don't necessarily go hand-in-hand. It would depend on how sincere they were in their apology, how committed they were to changing their ways, and also how dedicated they were to making things up to me, I guess. And then time would only tell ...

neko_girl22
05-04-04, 14:51
What if it was a family member (not husband/wife but blood family)? Would you forgive them just to keep the peace in the family? Tough one I guess....

playaa
05-04-04, 15:31
No not necesarily, family and blood wouldn't make any difference to me. How can there be any peace in either if you hold a grudge in your own head? But as said before it all depends on what is done afterwards and what had been done to you.

Hypertokyo5
05-04-04, 20:45
i am one to always forgive, but never forget.

mad pierrot
07-04-04, 14:30
Do it. It takes more courage.

jovial_jon
08-04-04, 14:21
it really depends on the situation...but generally as a rule i do try my best to forgive and forget, friends are too important

EscaFlowne
08-04-04, 14:31
I agree, Sometimes it a general accident [speaking about me this past week] and depending on the situation that person could or should not be forgiven. You can tell by looking in that person's eyes if he or she is sincere about the apology.
Eyes are the windows to your soul and can't lie....
That person appreciates what he has a WHOLE lot more once he gets it back.
Believe me.
[calls his "boupei" at 8:34 a.m.]

jovial_jon
08-04-04, 14:36
[QUOTE=EscaFlowne]Eyes are the windows to your soul and can't lie....[QUOTE]

couldnt agree with that more!

kirei_na_me
08-04-04, 14:37
I have forgiven people many times and people have forgiven me. I'm with mad pierrot. It takes more courage to forgive. Of course, if someone has to keep saying they're sorry, their credibility with me starts to dwindle. That's when I start forming a kind of immunity to whoever it is. I keep my distance as a defense mechanism in order not to get hurt again.

mad pierrot
08-04-04, 14:49
There is a big difference between forgiveness and stupidity, although people often mistake kindness for blindness.

lexico
30-07-05, 23:49
who had hurt you more deeply than any stranger could ?When I had once complained about the injustice of the backstabbing by a trusted one, someone pointed out that only somebody close could inflict a major injury. Also was pointed out, in the case the perp. didn't deserve the friendship in retroflex, why (s)he was allowed to get close enough. This implies that I too am responsible.

It can also be said there is no preventing a deceptive, planned, compulsively carried out breach of trust because relationships are meant to work assuming trust. With the exception of exceptional individuals, a relationship based on mistrust or partial trust isn't normally expected. To overcome the obvious dangers, various means of adjusting a moderate distance would be useful. "There's no such thing as instant friendship" is another sobering warining I think about.

Iron Chef
31-07-05, 06:36
What's that age-old adage? "To err is human, to forgive is divine..." or something along those lines. While forgiveness may indeed be a virtue and something one should strive and aspire to, I find some things to be unforgivable. A better man might be able to let go of all the hatred, anger, and resentment for past injustices... but I ain't him. 8-p

Void
31-07-05, 16:07
How far would you be prepared to forgive a friend, who had hurt you more deeply than any stranger could?

it depends on hers(his) intentions and my 'damages'


I guess to be fair, I would run the friend's actions through my head a thousand different ways to see if somehow I had caused the problem. I guess if I found them TOTALLY blameless, I WOULD have to forgive them!

careful examination sure helps, but there is no such thing as "totally blameless" . Anytime a 'spot' can be found. Does it mean then - never to forgive?


Whenever you feel like critisizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven`t had the advantages that you`ve had.
F. Scott Fitzgerald


nobody perfect. Am i? Certainly, not. In many cases i can forgive.

Void
31-07-05, 18:19
it`s just struck my mind

FindYourHalf Inc. we are glad to advertize our new product - "I-i-i-iiiinstant friendship". Empty the box into the cup, add 0.2 l of boiling water, stir and enjoy!!! For additional information contact our dealers worldwide
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Mycernius
31-07-05, 18:29
It would depend on what they did to me. If it was something that I could get over fairly easily I would slowly forgive them, but I would remember. If it was truely hurtful, then I don't think I could. I tend to nurse grudges to people who have hurt me, either physically (I could never forgive the bullies from school) or emotionally.

Tsuyoiko
01-08-05, 15:40
I have done some pretty bad things in my time and been forgiven, so it would be hypocritical for me not to forgive. But that doesn't mean it's easy!

HomicidalMouse
01-08-05, 19:12
If someone really hurt me then i dont think i could forgive them. I might want to after a long time but i dont think i could actually forgive them completely.

Pachipro
02-08-05, 17:26
I've always believed, "To err is human, to forgive divine." Now I do not adhere to any religion, nor do I attend any church, but I do believe that humans are on this earth to learn forgiveness of one's enemies among many other things we have to learn.

I have been burned by family members, friends, and loved ones throughout my 50 years of life on this planet and I have forgiven every one of them and taken them back. A few have even burned me a second time and I forgave them again, but never took them back into my life as I also believe in the adage, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." The point is, I still forgave them in my heart as I feel that is what I am supposed to do while alive.

Some have called me a fool, but inside my heart I know it was the right thing to do. I find it very sad that there are some who cannot forgive another being for something they have done to them or a family member. Therefore, they go through their lives hating the person and living with the anger of the transgression. This eats at the core of their very being and I feel they do not live very happy or productive lives. Some say they are happy and lead productive lives, but without the freedom that real forgiveness gives one's soul, I hardly doubt it as I have seen what hate can do to a family member and it is very sad indeed. 30 years later they still talk about it with all the venom and hate they ever had. It must really eat at them and I would not want to go through life in that state.

The forgiveness I have given others for wrongs done to me has given me the freedom to totally forget about it and go on with life.

Void
02-08-05, 17:36
Some have called me a fool, but inside my heart I know it was the right thing to do. I find it very sad that there are some who cannot forgive another being for something they have done to them or a family member. Therefore, they go through their lives hating the person and living with the anger of the transgression. This eats at the core of their very being and I feel they do not live very happy or productive lives. Some say they are happy and lead productive lives, but without the freedom that real forgiveness gives one's soul, I hardly doubt it as I have seen what hate can do to a family member and it is very sad indeed. 30 years later they still talk about it with all the venom and hate they ever had. It must really eat at them and I would not want to go through life in that state.

The forgiveness I have given others for wrongs done to me has given me the freedom to totally forget about it and go on with life.

i totally agree, it feels like the forgiveness gives and means to myself even more that to those i`m forgiving. it frees the heart

himagain
31-10-11, 03:17
This has happened to me several times in my seventy years of life. I forgive completely....but I cannot forget.
Forgiveness helps heal my deep hurts.

Jomid59
13-05-12, 07:30
I have one friend that I have been through so much with that the only thing I could not forgive would be hurting my daughters.

Grubbe
01-06-13, 20:10
If I can't forget, then I have probably not quite forgiven either. Deep hurt I cannot forget, and therefore not forgive. If a friend, I would break with the individual; if a relative, it would not be that easy to break up the relationship, but I would limit the time we spent together to a minimum.