english idioms

OK ... I've got nothing better to do this evening, have been in construction for 40-odd years - I've got lots of these ... some are American/Canadian versions ... but, here we go with the ones I like ...

Ugly: "face like a bag of spanners"

Ugly: "face like the back of a bus"

Cheap and untrustworthy: " ...would sell his granny if he had the chance ...."

Cheap: "Cheap as borscht..."(N.America)

Someone you don't approve of being there: "Hanging a round like a fart in a phone booth" (I believe this is from Australia/NZ...?)

Someone not contributing as they should, or could: "hanging around like a spare pr1ck at a wedding"

Someone you simply cannot tolerate by any means: "I ... wouldn't piss on him/her if he/she was on fire!"

Physically of substantial weight/mass: "Heavy as a dead preacher..."(N.America)

Your opinion of a major problem: "I need this like two broken arms" (N.American)
also: "I need this like a hole in the head"

A total mess of mismanagement: "The biggest f**k-up since Dunkirk!" (this may have fallen into disuse, now...?)

And, of course ... my personal favourite ... which is self-explanatory: "... a load of bollocks!" :biggrin:

?W????
 
Face like a constipated arse - miserable.

Why are mine all concerned with body parts/functions? Maybe I should ask my therapist! :D
 
Doesnt cut the mustard. Something that is not right.
 
A disgusting one my mother used on me which I hadn't performed a job to her satisfaction, she'd say: "You're going to have to lick the calf over". Ewwwwww!

"Busy as a one-armed paper-hanger"=busier than you can possibly get done
 
My favorite one has to be "to fall ass over tea kettle in love." A more common expression of the same kind is "to fall head over heals in love." They both mean the same thing, but I like the first one. It basically means to fall in love with someone quickly and deeply.
 
Rin Daemoko said:
My favorite one has to be "to fall ass over tea kettle in love." A more common expression of the same kind is "to fall head over heals in love." They both mean the same thing, but I like the first one. It basically means to fall in love with someone quickly and deeply.
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Around here we say 'arse over tit' instead of 'head over heels'. We are so vulgar! :sorry:
 
Tsuyoiko said:
Around here we say 'arse over tit' instead of 'head over heels'. We are so vulgar! :sorry:
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Indeed!

I think I may be too young and fair of face for this thread ... the way it's going!

?W???? :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:
 
I know. I don't know why, but every time I think of an idiom it is vulgar. I am starting to worry that it might be a scatological obsession. :worried: The road home was flooded on Tuesday night, and I had recourse to use this one:

sh*t a brick! - expressing painful surprise. :blush:
 
I invent my own idioms: to kill two birds of a feather with one rolling stone, for example. :hihi:

One unusual phrase my mom uses; if you have a lot of something, and you want to express it like "jeez, I've got more [whatever] than -" she always use the expression: "to have more [whatever-it-is] than soft mick". The first time I ever heard it, I was quite old - about 17 - and I was referring to jewellery. I started my sentence: "I've got more jewellery than - than - than -" and I became lost for words, and she chimed in with "than soft mick!" I was like "whaaat?" I thought Mick was maybe a transvestite! :giggle:

Does anyone else know of that expression? Mom insists it's a northern British expression, but I've only ever heard her and her mom use it. I'm convinced they invented it!
 
Good old soft Mick! My mum uses that too, and I thought she had invented it!
 
Tsuyoiko said:
I know. I don't know why, but every time I think of an idiom it is vulgar. I am starting to worry that it might be a scatological obsession. :worried: The road home was flooded on Tuesday night, and I had recourse to use this one:

sh*t a brick! - expressing painful surprise. :blush:
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LOL

If my road was flooded ... I think I might have come up with something far more powerful than that!

... and far more vulgar ....!

My Sympathies ...

John
 
Can you guess what these mean? They all mean the same thing, btw.

He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
He's not the brightest bulb of the lot.
The light's on, but nobody's home.
He's running under beta software.
He's got two ears and nothing in between.

Unrelated, my mother used to always say,

"You're slower than molasses moving uphill in January."

If I didn't zip up my trousers' zipper,

"Your barndoor's open!"

When I was in a rush,

"Hold your horses!"

And sometimes, instead of 'Good-bye',

"Elvis has left the building."
 
Tsuyoiko said:
Good old soft Mick! My mum uses that too, and I thought she had invented it!
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Really?!? Aw, I'm not alone! :giggle:

If I (or my mom!) left the living room door open, Dad would say "Born in a field?"

"About as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike."

Horizon used an expression that I liked and I asked if I could borrow it on occasions: "Holy snugglebutt!" :D

"Thick as two short planks."

To describe really good guitar playing: "Tight as a gnat's arse."

And ones that I require too often for my own good :( : "Between the devil and the deep blue sea", or "between a rock and a hard place." (If you were feeling particularly intellectual you could even say "Between Scylla and Charybdis." :D )

And, of course, "Cool as a cucumber." :cool:
 
Kinsao said:
If I (or my mom!) left the living room door open, Dad would say "Born in a field?"
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Our version is "put wood in hole and save some coal"
Kinsao said:
To describe really good guitar playing: "Tight as a gnat's arse."
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Strange. We use "tight as a duck's arse" to mean mean. You made me be vulgar again!:p
Kinsao said:
"Between Scylla and Charybdis." :D
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LOL! I like that one!
 
Here's one I picked up: "Tough titty said the kitty, but the milk's still good"
it basically means 'deal with it'
 
Here's some of my favorites from the southern U.S.A.
Stupid as a box of rocks. (really, really stupid)
Dumb as a bag full of hammers. (really, really, stupid again)
Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. (Sarcastic response to a "how are you?")
Scream like a broke d!ck panther.... used like... "when he slammed his hand in the car door, he screamed like a broke d!ck panther."
There are a number of other very funny but quite vulgar ones that I can't bring myself to put on this forum. :innocent:
 
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