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Thread: Family, the safe place for anyone of us?

  1. #1
    Set me free Anchyyy's Avatar
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    Country: Slovenia

    Family, the safe place for anyone of us?

    Two weeks ago we had to write an essay about our families in school. It give me a reason to think about this.

    I know my mother loves me. We've gone through a hard time, when my parents were divorsing. My father intended to kick me, my mother and my brother out of his house. It was his mothers house and after she died, he would easely get rid of us three. Anyway, they made a deal and my mother bought the house after she took the credit from the bank and she gave him the money.
    Sometimes she is a little rough with me, she wants me to do anything and she blames me for things i haven't done. But i respect her and love her as she deserves. I can trust her, but i'm kind of not prepared to do it. I'm scared she wouldn't understand.

    However, my father, he doesn't care about me. Would a sane, good father try to kick his kids on the street? He doesn't care about me, he doesn't even call me or visit me. He lives like less then ten minutes from my place. I don't care about him either. My mother often says that i should call him or go to his place since his my father. But i won't go, if he doesn't want me to go. He was never a good father anyway.

    My brother is actually a nice person, even tho we fight a lot, i have a great time when i'm with him.

    I think i can call my home is a safe place for me, even tho my mother mostly doesn't understand my problems and the way i feel. Anyway she helps me with everything and she loves me. Same goes for my borther.

    So my questions are:

    • What is your family like?

    • Do you love your family and do they love you?

    • Is home a safe place for you?

    • Is your family the one you can always trust, no matter what?

    Share your opinions.

  2. #2
    DON'T PANIC! Tsuyoiko's Avatar
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    Country: United Kingdom

    This is a good topic Anchyyy!

    I don't think many people have a perfect family life. There is always something you would want to change. I always wanted to live on my own with my Dad, as growing up, I was always 'Daddy's girl'. I have a lot of interests in common with my Dad, and he always seemed more fun and understanding than my Mum.

    Now that I am older, I understand a bit more. My Dad was out at work during the day, so he didn't have as much responsibility for us as my Mum. That is why she was always the one that disciplined us more. Plus, you can't always get on equally with everyone in your family, the same as for any people you meet. I just don't have as much in common with my Mum as with my Dad.

    It was important for me to leave home as soon as I was old enough and had enough money! We get on much better now, although we still live close by (only 10 minutes walk away). I like having my family close - I rely on my parents a lot, and they rely on my sister and me too. They are definitely the people I trust more than anyone.

    I have never really gotten along with my sister - we are very, very different. We argued a lot when we lived at home, but now I have mellowed a lot with age, and I can just change the subject or go out of the room if she really starts annoying me!

    It seems like your dad has acted unfairly, but maybe you will find out one day that he had reasons. I don't think you should stay in touch with him just because he is your dad. If he wants to see you and makes an effort to treat you properly then maybe you should see him occasionally. But if neither of you wants to see the other I think you're better off spending the time with your mum and brother.

    It sounds like your mum is doing her best. I don't think mums very often understand their teenage daughters - or maybe they are afraid that you will make the same mistakes as them. Teenagers feel confused and make mistakes, but guess what? - so do adults! I think the fact that she wants you to see your dad even after what has happened shows what a good person she is. It can so often happen that parents use their children to get back at one another, but your mum is better than that.

  3. #3
    Set me free Anchyyy's Avatar
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    Country: Slovenia

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsuyoiko
    I don't think you should stay in touch with him just because he is your dad.
    I know.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tsuyoiko
    It can so often happen that parents use their children to get back at one another, but your mum is better than that.
    I asked her about that like a year ago and she denied it. Afterall she has a new partner now, who is a bit strange but he's fine and she has a child with him. Ohh i forgot to mention he lives with us. He is ok, but i kind of can't count him in the family.

  4. #4
    The Wise Idiot
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    In the land of twilight under the moon.

    Ethnic group
    I have no idea.
    Country: United States

    My family ain't perfect, but they could be a heck of a lot worse, so I'm happy for now.

    I love my family more than life itself, especially my little sister, and I have no doubt in my mind that they love me too.

    Home is a safe place, or else it isn't home. My home happens to be where I live right now, with my family, so yeah, I guess you could say home is a safe place.

    I trust my family with the same standards as I trust everyone, I don't expect them to do everything for me, but I hope they will respect my opinions and help me out once in a while.
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  5. #5
    Join Date

    Country: Russian Federation

    All is relative... But only having created my" the house " I can be happy...

  6. #6
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    Country: United States

    My dad is 84 years old- He's an alcoholic with arthritis and a touch of parkinsons. None of his ten children or three x-wives keeps in touch with him so he is lonely and depressed. He doesn't really know his grand children.

    My mother has a great relationship with her seven kids, but we are all scattered. She's 82 and healthy. She is active painting and taking daily Tai Chi classes. She is still clear minded and independent.

    The seven of us grew up without our dad. We stayed at my uncle's house in East LA, and life was often contentious and difficult.

    My family now consists of me, my wife and two boys- ages 17 and 13. Our 17 year old is driving now and getting ready to graduate from high school and go off to college. My 13 year old doesn't clean his room, or bathe unless we nag him. We get along quite well as a family....

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