Im not misleading anyone, simply sharing my experience and I have plenty of them from all social classes as I get along pretty well with Americans compared to the average European. Europeans are too obsessed with judging and stereotyping on how Americans are stupid and ignorant.
By fake I meant that they're appear fake coz they're too careful and afraid to overstep or to be misunderstood, and for that reason I always try to break the ice and tell them not to give a F as things in Europe r not as bad as in US when it comes to different races. We openly make fun and say racist jokes to each other and laugh together while the Americans get an initial shock and look each other in the eye like "is it ok if we laugh too?".
And I've noticed what u say about people from New York and I find that over confidence a bit tiring and not original at all. And this is my major criticism to Americans as they are too influenced by the TV culture or whatever u call it so everyone acts, speaks, and tries to come off the same way. I worked with these guys from NY and Jesus it came to a point I asked them to replace the word deadass with smth else as it got so annoying. Smth goes viral and everyone overuses it. Europeans on the other hand are more different from one another and have more unique personalities in this sense.
Oh and one last funny thing, they are amazed at how Albanians, Italians, and Yugoslavs react, joke, or talk to women. So im wondering is it just a coincidence or American men are usually shy or more reserved around women?
If you go back and take a look at my post it's misReading them, not misLeading. The fact that Americans don't talk like you and your friends is totally to be expected. Americans aren't as racist as Europeans in general, not even with regard to blacks or Muslims. As for the kind of ethnic, tribal hatreds that are endemic in the Balkans it would be completely foreign to them. You seem to have difficulty accepting that people who are different from you are being genuine. Now, the particular Americans you met might have been out and out racists, but I assure you that if that has been the case they were the exception.
The "overconfidence" of New Yorkers isn't "original"? I don't know what that means. Again, it's genuine. Americans in general don't have this what I consider exaggerated deference toward people who are more educated or richer or in a different "class", or even famous. There's none of the formal "you" versus informal "you", no doctor this or that or counselor this or that. There's nothing "fake" about it. New Yorkers do add to that a relatively higher degree of confidence and openness, and so they express it. That's it.
The media dominance and effect it has on culture is true, but it will happen in Europe too.
American men on average are shyer and have less "game" with women than Italian men by far. (Of course, there are exceptions.) However, in my experience the worst are northern Europeans. It's literally painful listening to them and watching them trying to engage. It must be some combination of genes and culture.
@srdceleva,
I agree with much of what you say. Yes, it's true that a lot of Americans haven't traveled to many foreign countries and don't speak other languages. When they do, some of them might not be very tactful about what they see as antiquated systems. I don't excuse any of that. However, in my experience, and I've lived in both places, Americans are far less racist, less xenophobic, more welcoming and inclusive than Europeans.
As for this politeness thing, you can't look at it from the vantage point only of your own culture. You may think your rules are God given, but they're not. This article gives some good examples.
"
"For example, few Germans are aware that it is considered in extremely poor taste in many countries to blow your nose at the dinner table or to use toothpicks at the table - two activities which are considered acceptable by the respected Knigge Guide to Etiquette at dinner tables in Germany," it adds.
"In Japan, it is considered rude to count your change after paying your bill at a restaurant," the guide points out. "Germans at home in Germany always count their change and will quibble about the least discrepancy. That's the virtue of thoroughness in Germany. In Japan, it's highly offensive."
"
Sun-hungry people from soggy Germany like to free themselves of excess clothing when they reach sunny climes - with German women going topless and men wearing the skimpiest of bathing suits on balmy beaches. Often times they wear little more while shopping.
"In Italy, Spain and France it is considered indecorous to reveal too much skin anywhere but in the water. And in Muslim countries bare limbs and shoulders are a sign of wantonness. Your best clue to clothing is to look at the natives: Men in Mediterranean countries generally do not wear shorts on the main street. Nor do women in those countries dress scantily while shopping."
"
"We Germans have it drilled into our heads that we must always be fastidiously punctual, even for dinner parties. But in France it is considered uncouth to show up at a home on time. Arrive at least half an hour late with a bouquet," say the manners mavens.
"And if you are invited by a business colleague to lunch, it is permissible to talk about any subject under the sun - except of course the business matter which brought you together in the first place. Discussing business at a business lunch is gauche to the French," the guide warns."
So, from my perspective, it isn't polite to, as you say, "bark" at other people constantly over largely inconsequential things. It isn't polite when someone enters your home to not offer a coffee, a glass of water, something. It isn't polite to go to someone else's home and not bring flowers, wine, something. It isn't polite to correct absolute strangers on their behavior or clothes. Who put you in charge of the world? You try that here and the mildest reaction will be that they'll call you an *** ****. Would it also crack someone's face to smile welcomingly at someone? My goodness, we know enough from psychology to know how important a smile is to signal lack of aggression, welcome, etc. It also just makes people
feel better.
I have quite a bit of experience with German tourists. Is it polite to shout out your demands to the waiter from half way across the room? If they try that in New York somebody will bash them over the head. Is it polite to go to another country and address every local in sight as a lesser form of life? Is it polite to race down to the pool at 6AM to throw a towel on a lounge chair thinking that means it's yours for the day? Is it polite to parade around a shopping district in your speedos or thong bathing suit or even try to enter a restaurant that way? Is it polite to be so raucous and rowdy and loud, especially after you're drunk, that you ruin the evening for everyone else? Goodness there are whole studies about it.
I could, of course, do the same kind of thing about Italians, or Russians, or Americans and turn the tables. It wouldn't be hard to do. It depends on your perspective, your own cultural framework.
I just object to people thinking their way is the only way, and their standards are the only standards.
Ed. Oh, a word to the wise about proper behavior when you're invited to someone's home in America. DO NOT SHOW UP ON TIME. Don't be an hour late, of course, but give it fifteen minutes.
Also, bring a token gift.
