Reasons Why Not To Go To The Beach This Summer. (awesome gifs)

LeBrok

Elite member
Messages
10,261
Reaction score
1,617
Points
0
Location
Calgary
Ethnic group
Citizen of the world
Y-DNA haplogroup
R1b Z2109
mtDNA haplogroup
H1c
Courtesy of Discover Magazine.

1. The Sand.


Jump-on-Exercise-Ball-into-Sand-Fail.gif
via gifrific.com

Turns out it’s really hard to breathe through sand. Problem is, people like to dig tunnels and holes and play around in all this beach sand that doesn’t like to do what it’s told. Between 1985 and 2007, there were 31 sand hole deaths in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand. Fatal shark attacks? Less than 30—making the sand at the beach statistically more dangerous than the sharks in the water.
2. The Sun.

summer-work-12.gif
via thedailytouch.com

Soaking up those rays is truly killer: more than 600 people die every year from overexposure to natural heat, says the CDC.
3. No really, THE DAMNED SUN.

stack-melanoma.gif
via bli.uci.edu

More than 50,000 people die every year from melanoma. Sure, you might not notice it that one day at the beach, but all that fun in the sun can have serious consequences.
4. You probably don’t want to get in the water.

62LtO.gif
via imgur.com
More than 400,000 drowning deaths worldwide annually according to the World Health Organization. According to the CDC, somewhere between 400 and 500 drowning occur in US waters annually during non-boating activities like snorkeling and swimming (and that’s just the ones not in pools—that statistic is much higher!).
5. Especially around rip currents.

ani_ripetide.gif
via onr.navy.mil

The US Lifesaving Association estimates that rip currents alone are responsible for more than 100 deaths a year.
6. Don’t get on the water, either.

82765925.gif
via ebaumsworld.com

You’re not safe above the waves—The US Coast Guard has found that between 500 and 1000 boating fatalities occur every year in US waters.
7. Not even on a Jet Ski.

Jet-Ski-boat-fail.gif
via 4gifs.com

Personal water crafts, like jet skis, cause 30-50 deaths in the US alone every year according to the US Coast Guard. Besides, you never look as cool as you think you do on them.
8. I would avoid the food (even if it came from the same beach)

megan+bridesmaids.gif
via 4.bp.blogspot.com

Food-borne illnesses kill thousands of Americans every year, and though exact numbers are hard to track down because of low reporting rate and misdiagnoses, according to the World Health Organization, hundreds may die annually from Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning alone, and then there’s ciguatoxin, scombrotoxin, and the other fish and shellfish-related toxins just waiting to do you in.
9. You know that old saying “you’re more likely to be struck by lightning”?

tumblr_msysnjflRl1rllm3zo1_500.gif
via wifflegif.com

Well, yeah, you are. Around 70 people are killed annually by lightning in the United States according to NOAA. The National Ocean Service says to keep in mind that there is no safe place outside during storms!
10. You’re also more likely to be killed by a tsunami

japan-tsunami-o.gif
via gifsoup.com

Sure, they might be less frequent than storms. But since 1946, tsunamis have killed more than 350 people in the US alone, and the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami wiped out hundreds of thousands of lives in a single day.
11. Avoid the beach bar.

b6e0a01eb801aff1b166e06b2aef2c20.jpg
via pinimg.com
Did you know that, according to the CDC, there are approximately 88,000 deaths attributable to excessive alcohol use each year in the United States? 88,000 people killed because of alcohol, while less than one dies from a shark bite. Makes that fruity cocktail look a whole lot less refreshing, doesn’t it?
12. Just GETTING to the beach is dangerous.

1392140403_plane_crashes_while_taking_off_on_a_beach.gif
via gifbin.com

Between 2000 and 2009, more than 43,000 people in the United States died each year in transportation-related incidents. Globally, more than 810,000 people die from road traffic injuries every year, making it the fourth highest cause of death.
13. Besides, beaches are disgusting.

ecoli-flag-o.gif
via gifsoup.com

It’s not uncommon for beaches to be closed because of E. coli contamination, most often because of sewage runoff. E. coli infections kill somewhere between 50 and 100 people in the US every year, according to CDC research.
14. Really, really, really disgusting.

According to the NRDC, lots of beaches pose serious health risks because of pollution. We’re not talking a little gulp of diarrhea-inducing E. coli. We’re talking exposure to hepatitis, cholera and typhoid fever—diseases responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths every year.
15. Yes, even the clean-looking ones.

S9B6.gif
via functional-genomics.de

Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, known as MRSA, makes E. coli seem nice—and it’s all over our beaches, even when they pass water quality tests. Around 10,000 people die every year from the deadly superbug MRSA in the US alone by the CDC’s count, and it’s been detected in beaches in Florida, Washington and California (basically, everywhere that anyone has looked).
16. Animals scarier than sharks at a beach? For one, jellyfish.

tumblr_mgfbeajo5l1rxyvj1o1_500-1.gif
via madjellyfiles.wordpress.com

Oh, those needle-looking things? Those would be jellyfish nematocysts firing. Each one is laced with painful venom. Sharks only kill a handful of people every year—jellyfish, on the other hand, kill around 100, according to some scientific estimates.
17. Oh, and BEES.

giphy.gif
via giphy.com

Yeah, bees and their relatives are awful. Somewhere upwards of 100 people die of stings die in the US from stinging insects every year, according to the CDC, half of which are by bees alone.
18. And then are these little buggers:

dexter-mosquito-o.gif
via gifsoup.com

Mosquitos are arguably the most deadly animal on the planet, responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths worldwide every year. And yes, they are on the beach, too.

19. And, of course, there’s the most dangerous animal you’ll ever encounter at a beach:

via fanpop.com
Yeah, that’s right. People kill more than 460,000 other people globally every year. And then there’s all the deaths from the communicable diseases those other people could be carrying, like HIV (2,279,000 deaths/yr), tuberculosis (1,531,000 deaths/yr), and the flu (up to 500,000 deaths/yr).
But perhaps the person you should be most afraid of is you. Suicides account for more than 870,000 deaths every year, and are consistently in the top ten causes of death worldwide. So, too, are heart disease (7,157,000 deaths/yr), strokes (5,472,000 deaths/yr), and diabetes (754,000), making your life choices the #1 leading cause of death.


http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/science-sushi/2014/06/24/19-real-reasons-go-beach-summer/
 
I think you worry too much, LeBrok. Just go to the beach on Canada Day and try to relax and have a good time. After all, you don't have long before global warming makes the whole planet uninhabitable.
 
HA! You have all these problems because you want to have a "natural" beach experience. :useless: I tried that in the British Virgin Islands; I wound up with impetigo from sand flea bites because they don't spray the damn beach, and sun poisoning because there are no umbrellas, and had to take steroids and massive antibiotics. No, thank you!

You have to try the Italian beach experience. Now, granted, most people around you will still be slathering on baby oil or Nivea and then broiling for hours according to a rigorous schedule of precise turns, and, if you're a woman, strategic placement of bathing suit tops (so much easier if you just take the damn thing off like the northern Europeans) so that you turn out the absolutely darkest and evenest brown possible, but you can abstain. You can instead opt to stay underneath your "tenda":
05.jpg


If you work for a hedge fund outfit, you can even get this:
08.JPG


Even the relatively more reasonable bagnos give you your sunbed, a tenda or cover, walkways to your bed, changing facilities, showers with fluffy white towels, complimentary toilettries, and hair dryers, a restaurant, a snack bar, game rooms with music for the young people, a playground for the little ones, often a salt water pool, sometimes even drink service to your letto.
12.jpg



You can spend hours there without even putting a toe in the water or walking more than a few feet on the sand should you choose. I know women whom I've never seen with wet hair at the beach, or mussed up eye-make up for that matter. (The expensive hair cut and painstaking hair styling and make-up is also combined with the smallest possible bathing suits, whether it's a sixteen year old girl or a sixty-six year old grandmother, so be warned! Thankfully, the teeny, tiny, men's suits are becoming less frequent. :petrified::startled:)

Seriously, this is a part of Italian culture which most foreigners hate. Maybe you have to be raised with it. It's true that it's too expensive, and I agree there should be more free beaches, but I do love the bagni, and especially with children. It's just so civilized. I'm sorry, I don't want to offend, but I did so hate American days at the beach with my children when they were little: packing up coolers and towels and sand toys, and the sun screen and insect repellent, then lugging it all out to the shore; sand in the bathing suits and every nook and cranny of their bodies, and sticking to everybody's salt-crusted, sunburnt, sun-screen smeared, and insect repellent sprayed skin; then packing everything up and lugging it back to the car; and then driving home for an hour while stuck to the seats! YUCK! (And have I mentioned how the nearest bathroom facility always seems to be a mile away? And that some kids think every shadow in the water is Jaws and start screeching? And God forbid a sting ray should appear. There's mass hysteria, and I'm talking about the adults! ) Then, on the way home, over tired and cranky, one of them would have an accident, or an upset stomach, or they'd fight, and somebody was guaranteed to have a meltdown in the car. Sometimes, it was me!:LOL:
 
LOL, Angela. I'm assuming you wouldn't be a big fan of Canadian style wilderness camping, where you need to keep your bear spray close to hand when portaging around rapids.
 
HA! You have all these problems because you want to have a "natural" beach experience. :useless: I tried that in the British Virgin Islands; I wound up with impetigo from sand flea bites because they don't spray the damn beach, and sun poisoning because there are no umbrellas, and had to take steroids and massive antibiotics. No, thank you!

You have to try the Italian beach experience. Now, granted, most people around you will still be slathering on baby oil or Nivea and then broiling for hours according to a rigorous schedule of precise turns, and, if you're a woman, strategic placement of bathing suit tops (so much easier if you just take the damn thing off like the northern Europeans) so that you turn out the absolutely darkest and evenest brown possible, but you can abstain. You can instead opt to stay underneath your "tenda":


If you work for a hedge fund outfit, you can even get this:


Even the relatively more reasonable bagnos give you your sunbed, a tenda or cover, walkways to your bed, changing facilities, showers with fluffy white towels, complimentary toilettries, and hair dryers, a restaurant, a snack bar, game rooms with music for the young people, a playground for the little ones, often a salt water pool, sometimes even drink service to your letto.



You can spend hours there without even putting a toe in the water or walking more than a few feet on the sand should you choose. I know women whom I've never seen with wet hair at the beach, or mussed up eye-make up for that matter. (The expensive hair cut and painstaking hair styling and make-up is also combined with the smallest possible bathing suits, whether it's a sixteen year old girl or a sixty-six year old grandmother, so be warned! Thankfully, the teeny, tiny, men's suits are becoming less frequent. :petrified::startled:)

Seriously, this is a part of Italian culture which most foreigners hate. Maybe you have to be raised with it. It's true that it's too expensive, and I agree there should be more free beaches, but I do love the bagni, and especially with children. It's just so civilized. I'm sorry, I don't want to offend, but I did so hate American days at the beach with my children when they were little: packing up coolers and towels and sand toys, and the sun screen and insect repellent, then lugging it all out to the shore; sand in the bathing suits and every nook and cranny of their bodies, and sticking to everybody's salt-crusted, sunburnt, sun-screen smeared, and insect repellent sprayed skin; then packing everything up and lugging it back to the car; and then driving home for an hour while stuck to the seats! YUCK! (And have I mentioned how the nearest bathroom facility always seems to be a mile away? And that some kids think every shadow in the water is Jaws and start screeching? And God forbid a sting ray should appear. There's mass hysteria, and I'm talking about the adults! ) Then, on the way home, over tired and cranky, one of them would have an accident, or an upset stomach, or they'd fight, and somebody was guaranteed to have a meltdown in the car. Sometimes, it was me!:LOL:
Lol, that's hilarious Angela, worthy of magazine article.
 
LOL, Angela. I'm assuming you wouldn't be a big fan of Canadian style wilderness camping, where you need to keep your bear spray close to hand when portaging around rapids.


You do me wrong.
smile.gif
I'm not totally a hot house flower. I've camped in New England, and upstate New York, despite the ubiquitous flies, and around the greater Lake Tahoe and Lake Meade areas, and done some rafting in Colorado as well, but at cooler times of the year, suitably clothed to protect myself from bugs, (and with strong he-men to protect me from predators), and minus young children. In return for a light pack, I do all the cooking; espresso from my trusty old Motta, trout grilled with garlic, olive oil and parsley and, wild rabbit or quail cacciatore if the hunters are lucky, are my specialties.
grin.png


I also do quite a bit of hiking in Italy, although my schedule in the Cinque Terre, for example, runs something like this:
up very, very, early so it's cool, grab a cappuccino and a slice of focaccia with something tasty in town, and then hike up into hills; back down to town for a latesh, light lunch, perhaps a little siesta; then around three go to the "beach", for a refreshing swim and a short stint along the rock strewn shore (with sunscreen and hat); shower, primp, a passeggiata or stroll along the harbor, a lovely dinner with wine, and then some more strolling around listening to music and taking a turn or two along the dance floor. Maybe a slightly hot house flower?
ashamed.gif


However, I will never go camping or even hiking anywhere remotely tropical, like Costa Rica. Even African safaris are totally out! I'm genetically unsuited to unadulturated heat and humidity, and especially to BUGS! Whatever scent or hormone attracts them, I must emit it by the bucket load. They make an absolute meal of me. No matter what shots I get, I'd be sure to come down with some tropical disease or fungus or whatever. Just like those old time European explorers of the Amazon or Africa or wherever who dropped like flies. You know, "Day 12, lost poor Henley today to a fever". I would have been Henley! I'll pass, thank-you very much.
wary.gif
 
You do me wrong.
smile.gif
I'm not totally a hot house flower. I've camped in New England, and upstate New York, despite the ubiquitous flies, and around the greater Lake Tahoe and Lake Meade areas, and done some rafting in Colorado as well, but at cooler times of the year, suitably clothed to protect myself from bugs, (and with strong he-men to protect me from predators), and minus young children. In return for a light pack, I do all the cooking; espresso from my trusty old Motta, trout grilled with garlic, olive oil and parsley and, wild rabbit or quail cacciatore if the hunters are lucky, are my specialties.
grin.png


I also do quite a bit of hiking in Italy, although my schedule in the Cinque Terre, for example, runs something like this:
up very, very, early so it's cool, grab a cappuccino and a slice of focaccia with something tasty in town, and then hike up into hills; back down to town for a latesh, light lunch, perhaps a little siesta; then around three go to the "beach", for a refreshing swim and a short stint along the rock strewn shore (with sunscreen and hat); shower, primp, a passeggiata or stroll along the harbor, a lovely dinner with wine, and then some more strolling around listening to music and taking a turn or two along the dance floor. Maybe a slightly hot house flower?
ashamed.gif


However, I will never go camping or even hiking anywhere remotely tropical, like Costa Rica. Even African safaris are totally out! I'm genetically unsuited to unadulturated heat and humidity, and especially to BUGS! Whatever scent or hormone attracts them, I must emit it by the bucket load. They make an absolute meal of me. No matter what shots I get, I'd be sure to come down with some tropical disease or fungus or whatever. Just like those old time European explorers of the Amazon or Africa or wherever who dropped like flies. You know, "Day 12, lost poor Henley today to a fever". I would have been Henley! I'll pass, thank-you very much.
wary.gif


Too funny! You should be writing humorous travelogues - "A Summer in Liguria" or something like that.
 
I think you worry too much, LeBrok.
I only posted it for the funny gif movies.

After all, you don't have long before global warming makes the whole planet uninhabitable.
What do you mean? Check the Paleozoic and Mesozoic periods when earth was much warmer. It was much greener than today with plants and animals thriving in Arctic and Antarctic zones too.
 
I think the 'sand' gif was a set-up stunt. One can see the color of the sand is different where his head landed and sank to the rest of the more whitish sand. The angle doesn't show the condition of the "landing strip". It is funny though at first sight. :LOL:
 
I only posted it for the funny gif movies.

What do you mean? Check the Paleozoic and Mesozoic periods when earth was much warmer. It was much greener than today with plants and animals thriving in Arctic and Antarctic zones too.

Yes, LeBrok, the gif movies were funny. Good post. But I couldn't resist echoing back what you said to me about global warming in another thread - just my perverse sense of humour.

Maybe the reason modern humans weren't negatively impacted by climate change during the Paleozoic and Mesozoic periods is because there weren't any modern humans yet - just a thought.
 
Nice thread LeBrok, great info {so I`m now clued up}..and the gifs are perfect!
No. 4.. Actually happened to my father {long time back}. only he fell forward instead of back..poor man lost his dentures due to it and had to spend last three days of holidays in hotel room.
No.6.. Never had it happen but many times crossing from here to Scotland, it almost felt this was happening!
Unfortunately last mini break I had was Nice and there wasn`t any sand to worry about..just lots and lots of stones.
 
Last edited:
You forgot about those real-life Johnny Bravos at the beach, except in real life, some are violent and will climb into your hotel room, and send you to your eternal fate if they get angry at you for refusing their requests.
 

This thread has been viewed 19372 times.

Back
Top