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Thread: Is Meeting Online Good for Marriages?

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    Heart Is Meeting Online Good for Marriages?



    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...good-marriages
    http://www.pnas.org/content/110/25/10135.short
    The Internet has become a common place to meet a romantic partner – so common, in fact, that the Pew Research Center estimates that nearly one in six Americans has dated online or on a mobile device. As more and more people are finding love online, it’s worth considering how the technology that brought them together might affect the course of their marital relationships. Yet, until recently, little was known about how couples who met online fared in marriage – or whether they were any better or worse off than those who followed a more traditional path to the altar.

    In a study published in PNAS, researchers surveyed 19,131 Americans about the quality and stability of their marriages, which began sometime between 2005 and 2012. Their study revealed two main findings about the marital outcomes of couples who met on and offline.

    First, the Internet really has changed where people are finding a spouse. Approximately one in three of the survey’s respondents were married to someone they met online, with the most commonly reported venues being online dating (45.01%), social networking (20.87%), and chat rooms (9.51%). Meanwhile, the most popular places for meeting a spouse offline were through traditional channels like work (21.66%), friends (19.06%), and school (10.97%). Even now, it seems that the majority of marriages still get their start offline – but there are also plenty of couples who are getting married after meeting in different spaces across the Internet.

    Second, where a couple meets may continue to matter even after they marry. Participants who met their spouse online reported that they were, on average, slightly more satisfied with their marriages, and slightly less likely to separate or divorce than those who met in offline venues. And although these differences were small, they’re nevertheless a compelling example of the Internet’s potential to benefit relationships even after they move offline.

    So, what’s so special about meeting online, and why would it have any effect on marriage?

    The study’s authors propose a number of possible explanations for these findings. It could be that people profit from the algorithms that some dating sites use to match them, the amount of choice that comes from having access to a larger dating pool, or the deep disclosures that often characterize online relationships. They also emphasize that, of course, there’s more to divorce than where a couple meets. An abundance of research indicates that divorce is predicted by a complex interplay of economic, demographic, and interpersonal factors, such as a person’s age at first marriage, approach to conflict, or even his or her parents’ marital history. But that isn’t to say that these results aren’t significant – to the contrary. As the authors write, “These data suggest that the Internet may be altering the dynamics and outcomes of marriage itself.”

    And that’s an exciting prospect, indeed.
    I don't know how this article could be so conclusive, online dating is relatively new and the study she references is from 2012! I'd like to see what those figures look like 10 years from now. Yet the study purports that its somehow better to find someone online, than in real life. I don't think there's anything particularly more or less beneficial to it in the long run. However, I would assume it would be more romantic to actually meet the person in real-life; at least in retrospect. Furthermore, according to this article, 1/3rd of the survey respondents are getting married to people they met on the internet.

    One of my friends actually is getting married to a girl he met on Okcupid a couple years ago. She's actually a decent person.

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    I suppose that depending on the site it might weed out people who aren't looking for a long term relationship?

    Maybe if the questions get at really substantive things and not just superficial things it might be good, although I don't think you have to share every hobby to be a good match. Also, if you get to know one another first it might not matter so much if the other person ticks all the boxes about appearance that might otherwise be more important?

    It can also be dangerous, though. I would highly recommend getting to know the other person's family and friends as well as possible. That tells you a lot, although the person could be the "black sheep" of the family, I suppose. A very close friend of mine got swept off her feet when she was working in London, and married this guy without ever having met his family here in the states. Had she met his very crazy close family members she might have thought better of it and been a lot better off.


    Non si fa il proprio dovere perchè qualcuno ci dica grazie, lo si fa per principio, per se stessi, per la propria dignità. Oriana Fallaci

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    I think the biggest issue with those dating apps is that everyone is just another person on the site they can swipe right or left on. People can set up a date with one person, and then hedge their bets by setting up multiple others. I think it really hobbles a lot of genuine connection you might have with someone, because it debases people as individuals. Perhaps this is part of the whole ghosting phenomenon. Personally I think it's a very cold dynamic in regards to online dating apps, and there isn't any real magic. It's almost as if people are shopping for a car, and looking at all the specs. Nevertheless, some can be fortunate to meet someone they can forge a relationship with. But ultimately it depends on the person I guess.

    When it comes to crazy families, that is usually the reason why I have broken up with some of my ex-girlfriends. Even if the person themselves are normal, it just causes too many complications to deal with their unstable family.

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    Is Meeting Online Good for Marriages?

    In the likely situation that someone open up about his/her relationships issue, or lack of it, imo is always best just to listen, and avoid stating an opinion, unless abuse is a concern. It might backfire on you if the 2 reconcile.
    As they say: Never Interfere In the Affairs of the Heart
    About Online Dating;
    It’s just another tool available to meet people. We know the pro and con.
    But you oh Messapo, Tamer of Horses ... that no one, with neither iron nor fire can break down! “Virgil”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Salento View Post
    In the likely situation that someone open up about his/her relationships issue, or lack of it, imo is always best just to listen, and avoid stating an opinion, unless abuse is a concern. It might backfire on you if the 2 reconcile.
    As they say: Never Interfere In the Affairs of the Heart
    That's true I believe, I don't like to influence people on those matters (unless it's abusive of course). People never divulge all the details anyway for someone to give an accurate assessment. Not that they should either. Moreover, it may be too complex for words to describe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jovialis View Post
    That's true I believe, I don't like to influence people on those matters. People never divulge all the details anyway for someone to give an accurate assessment. Not that they should either. Moreover, it may be too complex for words to describe.
    Time is the best healer.
    When Dating again, or Online Dating (another tool to be use with care), Never Compare the ex to the new person. Don’t mention the ex at all unless asked, and keep it short.
    Don’t give the Impression that there are steel felling. Don’t Complain. Smile.
    I lack experience in this matters, but is probably a decent approach.
    Don’t listen to me.

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    I would avoid these sites, you never know if Renee the gorgeous, affluent CEO of a French perfume firm turns out to be Bob the local dump truck driver.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Salento View Post
    Time is the best healer.
    When Dating again, or Online Dating (another tool to be use with care), Never Compare the ex to the new person. Don’t mention the ex at all unless asked, and keep it short.
    Don’t give the Impression that there are steel felling. Don’t Complain. Smile.
    I lack experience in this matters, but is probably a decent approach.
    Don’t listen to me.
    I'm not looking for advice, I'm just discussing this generally because I read an article about it on psychologytoday. lol

    But yea, those are some good points.

    Quote Originally Posted by davef View Post
    I would avoid these sites, you never know if Renee the gorgeous, affluent CEO of a French perfume firm turns out to be Bob the local dump truck driver.
    20 years ago, that was the general attitude towards meeting people online. Nowadays, it seems as though it has shifted. Though it's still a possibility.

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    Is Meeting Online Good for Marriages?

    @ Jovialis
    I was Talking in general, About stories that I heard. Sorry I wasn’t clear. It came out Wrong.

    @ Davef
    You just broke Bob’s ❤️. lol

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    I would imagine that it's really horrible and psychologically devastating to be catfished. Especially if you've been in communication with the person for a while. Which is definitely a risk people would take when engaging in online dating. Then again, what's the point of aspiring for a romantic relationship if you can't even see the person immediately and regularly after meeting them online?

    @Salento, Np

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    Is Meeting Online Good for Marriages?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jovialis View Post
    I would imagine that it's really horrible to be catfished. Which is definitely a risk people would take when engaging in online dating.

    @Salento, Np
    Been “Catfished” is @Davef worst nightmare. lol

    @Davef

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    This new dating app is exchanging swipes for swabs.

    An upcoming dating app, Pheramor, matches singles based partially on their DNA.

    Created by Brittany Barreto, Asma Mirza and Bin Huang, the app looks both at participants’ DNA samples and their social media profiles to match online singles.

    The creators told the Houston Chronicle that a simple cheek swab analyzes 11 genes that scientists have linked with attraction.

    “I'll know who you think is hot and who you won't like," Barreto told the Chronicle.

    The algorithms, created by Huang, then create a profile with those attraction genes and the participant's social media that will match with others in the system.

    The creators won’t say which attraction genes they’re looking at, but assure users they won’t look anywhere else — physical appearance information, heritage or diseases that can be found using DNA samples won’t be included. This information won’t even be seen by the user and won’t be given to anyone else without the user’s direct consent. After testing and sequencing is done, Pheramor says the DNA sample will be destroyed.

    Then, the app works like a typical dating app. Users can connect with other singles where they will see a percentage of compatibility based on the DNA results. The company says that with the social media algorithms that automatically build each profile, there will be no “catfishing” or lying about interests on the app.

    Pheramor hasn't launched yet — the website says Feb. 10, 2018, just in time to for a first pheromone-based date with your true love on Valentine’s Day — but the creators said in the Chronicle they were aiming for a goal of 3,000 Houston-based participants before launch. The app is focused on young professionals between ages 18 and 44 who don’t have time to fill out dating profiles or waste their valuable time on bad first dates.

    Pheramor isn’t the first company to match DNA and dating. Singld Out, which began in 2014, worked with Toronto-based company Instant Chemistry and LinkedIn to match single professionals. Singld Out’s website is now defunct and its Twitter hasn’t been updated since 2015, but Instant Chemistry is still kicking.

    The Canadian company focuses on established romantic pairs and also work with dating and matchmaking services, but it hasn’t jumped into the online dating pool since the brief bout with Singld Out.

    Despite the prevalence in online dating and the novelty of DNA dating, Pheramor may find resistance this type of DNA testing, despite their assurances. Companies that research heritage based on DNA, like 23andMe and Ancestry.com, have raised privacy concerns over who owns the DNA data, who it can be sold to, and hiding customers’ knowledge and consent of these details in the fine print.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/life-styl...icle-1.3722824


    Talk about a scam!

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    Online dating has definitely a big advantage over "real life" (I don't like the term actually) unexpected meeting especially in mid to large cities inhabited by millions of people who in general work and go back home and just walk by on some places with some restricted number of friends and acquaintances (I suspect that is the life of a majority of people in developed and emerging countries now). You simply get to know people who may be totally compatible with you but you would never meet them in real life either because of sheer low chances of stumbling onto the other person, or because despite the profound "soul" congeniality between the two individuals they have different habits, different economic status or simply an entirely different routine in work and fun. I wouldn't like to know that basically all my chances of meeting the "right person" for me would depend on the assumption that we both share the same habits and places. In my (admittedly short) life experience, the real thing that determines a healthy relationship is not a similarity of tastes and hobbies (two things that totally determine where we usually go), but a similarity of personal values and general patterns of behavior.

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    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ygorcs View Post
    Online dating has definitely a big advantage over "real life" (I don't like the term actually) unexpected meeting especially in mid to large cities inhabited by millions of people who in general work and go back home and just walk by on some places with some restricted number of friends and acquaintances (I suspect that is the life of a majority of people in developed and emerging countries now). You simply get to know people who may be totally compatible with you but you would never meet them in real life either because of sheer low chances of stumbling onto the other person, or because despite the profound "soul" congeniality between the two individuals they have different habits, different economic status or simply an entirely different routine in work and fun. I wouldn't like to know that basically all my chances of meeting the "right person" for me would depend on the assumption that we both share the same habits and places. In my (admittedly short) life experience, the real thing that determines a healthy relationship is not a similarity of tastes and hobbies (two things that totally determine where we usually go), but a similarity of personal values and general patterns of behavior.
    I agree with that. Despite certain comparable interests, behaviors and values should be considered. For example, some people could like the same tastes in music, subjects, movies, etc. But have a defective moral compass, lifestyle, and attitudes (i.e. excessive amount of past sexual partners; drug and excessive alcohol consumption; negative attitudes towards others especially your family members; lying, unreliability and lack of trustworthiness; abusiveness and lack of mutual respect; inconsideration) Those are all major strikes against them, and are absolutely intolerable for anyone with self-respect.

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    I think that online resources for dating help introverts to start communication, which is a positive point.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oxxy View Post
    I think that online resources for dating help introverts to start communication, which is a positive point.
    I agree with you and think that some people are really closed and this way of dating can help them overcome themselves and even become more confident. You need to be careful when registering and using such sites, so you need to visit trusted and reliable sites. Here you can read information about chaturbate hookup - https://hookupmasters.com/adult-webc...urbate-review/. Of all online dating sites, this is one of the most reliable. If you browse, you will find a description of others here as well, which will help you save time and choose a safe option.
    Last edited by Fegalevac; 15-08-19 at 07:26.

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    Although both of my kids had met and dated people in the real world, they met their current partners through Tinder. Both of them are long term relationships and one is definitely leading to marriage. So I think long term and marriage is possible through online dating. Just as long as the relationship transitions from online to offline quickly and it does not drag on. If it is used as a place of introduction, a matchmaker of sorts, then it is OK.

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