Women of 50 are invisible to me

[Dagne]

Oh I think it is very simple, I people are generally interested in opposite sex of approximate their age group. So if you are younger naturally one should be attracted to women twenty or thirty years older than you and vice versa, too.

 

[Vandemonian]

Oh I think it is very simple, I people are generally interested in opposite sex of approximate their age group. So if you are younger naturally one should be attracted to women twenty or thirty years older than you and vice versa, too.

Shh! You'll give it away!

 

[Angela]

This doesn't really fit here, but I didn't want to start a separate thread.

Most men find most women a little sexually attractive, while most women don't find most men sexually attractive at all. I can confirm the second.

See:
https://twitter.com/robkhenderson/status/1116398389934153729

 

[markod]

This doesn't really fit here, but I didn't want to start a separate thread.

Most men find most women a little sexually attractive, while most women don't find most men sexually attractive at all. I can confirm the second.

See:
https://twitter.com/robkhenderson/status/1116398389934153729

I think I always knew this instinctively. What necessarily follows from this is that in a society where monogamy is the norm, most women will not be very passionate about their partners. This is another thing that I always suspected. I wonder how women rationalize this? You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone after all.

 

[Angela]

I think I always knew this instinctively. What necessarily follows from this is that in a society where monogamy is the norm, most women will not be very passionate about their partners. This is another thing that I always suspected. I wonder how women rationalize this? You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone after all.

I've seen articles where this is borne out in dating apps, for example.

Well, many of them, the less emotional and more calculating of them, try to wait for that "Mr. Right" who is good looking enough to sexually excite them, but who also has the other qualities they seek, like stability, kindness, and for a lot of them, the ability to earn a good living. If they're getting older, and that biological clock is ticking, they "settle".

It sounds horrible, and it "is" horrible as far as I'm concerned. This isn't "love" imo, or even real sexual attraction.

I had a "friend" ("She" thought we were friends; I didn't.) who had a literal "list" of what she wanted in a mate, down to the fact that he had to be Irish like her family, tall, blonde, educated, from a "good" family, athlethic, sociable, etc. The one she wanted and lived with for a while hit all the marks except he was older, already had older children, and didn't want any more. She "settled" for a half Irish, short, dark guy who, however, has been extraordinarily successful. He's a wonderful person, and the only reason I keep in touch with her. I sometimes wonder if he understands how calculating she was about it all. She's also quite "experienced" sexually, and yet has always told me she doesn't much like sex. I feel quite sorry for him, but I don't think he knows any of this, and he seems "happy" enough.

For more women than men from what I can see from women I've known, sex just isn't all that important or all that satisfying. I feel sorry for both them and their husbands.

Not all women are like that, however. The problem is, how is a man supposed to know which is which, especially given that women can and do hide their true nature in order to "get" the man they want. I can tell you that a lot of women who dress provocatively, for example, are cold as ice, and a more modest dress and demeanor can indeed hide a passionate nature.

 

[Vandemonian]

Most men find most women a little sexually attractive, while most women don't find most men sexually attractive at all. I can confirm the second.

Most women have lower sex drives than men do. With the female of the species, something beyond physical appearance (confidence, clothing, musical or performing ability, humor, and so on) is almost always necessary to generate a feeling of attraction.

Speaking as a man, attraction is more elemental, building up like hunger or thirst. It isn't omnipresent, of course - it disappears under stress or in a professional setting, but under normal, relaxed circumstances I can be attracted to "unattractive" women.

Of course, there's a lot of overlap between the sexes. I know men who refer to themselves as asexual, and women who are so driven by sexual appetites that they resent the cultural norm of serial monogamy.

 

[ratchet_fan]

This doesn't really fit here, but I didn't want to start a separate thread.

Most men find most women a little sexually attractive, while most women don't find most men sexually attractive at all. I can confirm the second.

See:
https://twitter.com/robkhenderson/status/1116398389934153729

LOL. I don't doubt it but it sounds like something you would read on r/FemaleDatingStrategy or r/Incels.

Although in all fairness most modern men probably find most apple pies at least a little sexually attractive.

 

[alive_old]

oh man ! you are showing some hotties who happen to be 50 years old , not all 50 year olds look that good to be honest. but general speaking how old some one is and their age is some how meaningless to me ! and looks can always be deceiving. what good would a, lets say, young woman do if you did not like her personality ?! so age is not everything

 

[firetown]

Most women have lower sex drives than men do. With the female of the species, something beyond physical appearance (confidence, clothing, musical or performing ability, humor, and so on) is almost always necessary to generate a feeling of attraction.

Speaking as a man, attraction is more elemental, building up like hunger or thirst. It isn't omnipresent, of course - it disappears under stress or in a professional setting, but under normal, relaxed circumstances I can be attracted to "unattractive" women.

Of course, there's a lot of overlap between the sexes. I know men who refer to themselves as asexual, and women who are so driven by sexual appetites that they resent the cultural norm of serial monogamy.

I don't think that women have a lower sex drive than men, but I think there are fewer men who bring it out in them than there are women who bring it out in men.

 

[firetown]

Looking at prehistory, I suspect 10 percent of the men had 90 percent of the children.

 

[Angela]

I don't think that women have a lower sex drive than men, but I think there are fewer men who bring it out in them than there are women who bring it out in men.

Women lie.

Well, they lie to men about sex all the time; much more rarely to other women. I don't think you'd believe how little a good proportion of women like it; it doesn't pay for them to let that be known before getting a ring on that finger, however. All those jokes about how women seem to lose their sex drive after they get married is reflecting reality in a lot of cases. These guys don't know what the hell happened; everything was different before they got married. Of course, motherhood is a factor too. Some women can't deal with his neediness as well as the neediness of babies.

To be fair, though, a woman who does have a strong sex drive, who doesn't have to have a half hour of foreplay or a man with the endurance of an ox, can, however, find it pays to lie to other women about it, because she can then notice that her female friends cool off toward her, and watch her like a hawk when she interacts with their husbands.

So, it's complicated.

 

[firetown]

Women lie.

Well, they lie to men about sex all the time; much more rarely to other women. I don't think you'd believe how little a good proportion of women like it; it doesn't pay for them to let that be known before getting a ring on that finger, however. All those jokes about how women seem to lose their sex drive after they get married is reflecting reality in a lot of cases. These guys don't know what the hell happened; everything was different before they got married. Of course, motherhood is a factor too. Some women can't deal with his neediness as well as the neediness of babies.

To be fair, though, a woman who does have a strong sex drive, who doesn't have to have a half hour of foreplay or a man with the endurance of an ox, can, however, find it pays to lie to other women about it, because she can then notice that her female friends cool off toward her, and watch her like a hawk when she interacts with their husbands.

So, it's complicated.

OK, I will have to rethink this then. However: Do the women who don't like it fantasize about other dudes? If so, would they feel completely different about it if they were to wind up with someone that they fantasized about?

 

[Angela]

OK, I will have to rethink this then. However: Do the women who don't like it fantasize about other dudes? If so, would they feel completely different about it if they were to wind up with someone that they fantasized about?

Firetown, this is all my "subjective" view. I only draw my conclusions from what the women I know have told me, a certain set of women, to start with, almost all college educated, a good number with advanced degrees, and almost always at women's get togethers when alcohol has loosened their tongues. It's not just when they gather at one woman's house while the children run wild, btw. I used to think Book Club was as popular for the two or three hours after the discussion when the wine came out as for the book discussion itself. I belonged to that club for almost 20 years, the whole time I lived in that neighborhood, and we met once a month. I learned a lot, and not just history, and biography and the New York Times notable books.

I think all women fantasize, as I'm sure all men fantasize. I just think across the board, at least for my generation, women's fantasies are different. No matter how educated they are, women swoon over movies like "Dirty Dancing". Is there sex in it? Yes, but it's not hard core porn. Did they swoon over Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise? Not my type but I'm sure some did. Whether or not the sex would have been different for them if they were with these men in their prime I don't know. Perhaps, because novelty has its appeal, as well as the sheer beauty of one's partner.

However, I think over time one's true nature shows itself, in the strength of sexual desire as well as every other personality trait. The strength of the sex drive is hormonal in my opinion. Perhaps the women who have a stronger sex drive have a bit more testosterone than other women, or other hormones whose effect we don't yet know? For a lot of the women I've known, kissing, cuddling, falling asleep spooned with their mate is as fulfilling as sex, and sometimes more fulfilling. It apparently takes a lot for some of them to reach satisfaction. They need husbands with skill and patience, which not all of them have.

Women also use sex as a bartering tool. They turn it off if things are not going their way, which can be disastrous for the relationship. It's why I sometimes understood in the divorces I've seen how a man could in all honesty say he loved his wife, but he needed to get satisfaction elsewhere. There are women out there for whom sex is not such a chore, or else the novelty helps them, or they just can put on a good show to get the ego gratification they need, which fuels a lot of sexual behavior in women when they're not in a committed relationship.

To return to the topic of the thread, I think there's a reason why some men are attracted to older women. What is lost physically may be balanced by more wisdom, less selfishness, a greater understanding and acceptance of a man's needs. Hey, it works for Macron and his wife!

 

[Angela]

For a very funny take on the subject I recommend the movie "Rushmore".

The French are seemingly obsessed with the topic, having made more movies about it than almost any other country. Two that I actually liked are "Strayed", and "Cheri".

I understand it from the younger man's point of view. I don't understand it from the woman's point of view. Ten years, maybe, if he's of age, of course, but 20? I could have given birth to him. The "yuck" factor is too strong.

 

[Angela]

Ed. Duplicate

 

[Mmiikkii]

What woman of any age would choose him other than for either money or career advancement. The level of self-delusion that goes on in this world is unbelievable.

Exactly. That men doesn't attract by his physic.
He attracts because of his literary genius, personality.
And less happy about, by his money and fame.

 

[Mmiikkii]

Looking at prehistory, I suspect 10 percent of the men had 90 percent of the children.

Worse. In the Neolithic it was 1 male effectively reproducing for the next millenia ,for 17 females.
Population decline, conquest, change of era, extermination of the males, executions of all kind... That devastates most male lineages.
It would be interesting to make the female to men haplogroups ratio.
I may start myself

 

[torzio]

men got lazy in effort in regards sex ................they did not need to ensure that a women had a orgasm to have children, while a man had too.

Imagine what the populace would be if women can only get pregnant if they achieved orgasm ( even if its before a male instead of exact the same time ) ...................a project we did in uni when I was young

 

[firetown]

Population decline

Not really. Isn't almost every Hungarian a direct descendant of Attila?

 

[firetown]

Firetown, this is all my "subjective" view. I only draw my conclusions from what the women I know have told me, a certain set of women, to start with, almost all college educated, a good number with advanced degrees, and almost always at women's get togethers when alcohol has loosened their tongues. It's not just when they gather at one woman's house while the children run wild, btw. I used to think Book Club was as popular for the two or three hours after the discussion when the wine came out as for the book discussion itself. I belonged to that club for almost 20 years, the whole time I lived in that neighborhood, and we met once a month. I learned a lot, and not just history, and biography and the New York Times notable books.

I think all women fantasize, as I'm sure all men fantasize. I just think across the board, at least for my generation, women's fantasies are different. No matter how educated they are, women swoon over movies like "Dirty Dancing". Is there sex in it? Yes, but it's not hard core porn. Did they swoon over Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise? Not my type but I'm sure some did. Whether or not the sex would have been different for them if they were with these men in their prime I don't know. Perhaps, because novelty has its appeal, as well as the sheer beauty of one's partner.

However, I think over time one's true nature shows itself, in the strength of sexual desire as well as every other personality trait. The strength of the sex drive is hormonal in my opinion. Perhaps the women who have a stronger sex drive have a bit more testosterone than other women, or other hormones whose effect we don't yet know? For a lot of the women I've known, kissing, cuddling, falling asleep spooned with their mate is as fulfilling as sex, and sometimes more fulfilling. It apparently takes a lot for some of them to reach satisfaction. They need husbands with skill and patience, which not all of them have.

Women also use sex as a bartering tool. They turn it off if things are not going their way, which can be disastrous for the relationship. It's why I sometimes understood in the divorces I've seen how a man could in all honesty say he loved his wife, but he needed to get satisfaction elsewhere. There are women out there for whom sex is not such a chore, or else the novelty helps them, or they just can put on a good show to get the ego gratification they need, which fuels a lot of sexual behavior in women when they're not in a committed relationship.

To return to the topic of the thread, I think there's a reason why some men are attracted to older women. What is lost physically may be balanced by more wisdom, less selfishness, a greater understanding and acceptance of a man's needs. Hey, it works for Macron and his wife!

Ok, Angela, I will shut up and read.
I thought Dirty Dancing was one of the lamest movies ever to become a hit, but I now realize that there is a reason for everything I simply didn't get before.