Eupedia Forums
Site NavigationEupedia Top > Eupedia Forum & Japan Forum
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 47

Thread: Women are happier without a spouse or children

  1. #1
    Advisor Achievements:
    VeteranThree Friends50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Angela's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-01-11
    Posts
    14,822
    Points
    249,149
    Level
    100
    Points: 249,149, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.6%


    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: USA - New York



    1 out of 2 members found this post helpful.

    Women are happier without a spouse or children



    See:
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ppiness-expert

    "“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”

    This isn't the first time I've seen someone make this claim. Single women live longer than married women, married men live longer than single men, etc.

    My first reaction is that I've grown to distrust "psychology" papers. There is a huge replication crisis, partly because of small sample sizes and partly because of terrible statistical analysis or downright "tinkering" with data to get the required results.

    Interesting that married people, probably women, answer the "happiness" question more negatively if their spouses aren't present.

    There are a few common sense explanations, of course.

    "Men benefited from marriage because they “calmed down”, he said. “You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children,” he said."

    "
    Dolan said men showed more health benefits from tying the knot, as they took fewer risks. Women’s health was mostly unaffected by marriage, with middle-aged married women even being at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single counterparts."

    One could say, I suppose, that a life trying to balance work with taking the major responsibility for the home and the children leads to a lot of stress and that's the cause.

    A lot would depend on which husband and what kind of children, I would imagine. I've seen other studies which say that much more so in recent times than in the past both men and women say they regret having children. Given how some turn out nowadays than in the past I'm not surprised. I've also seen studies that deeply religious married couples are happier. Maybe they're fooling themselves, or maybe husbands in those situations are more likely not to stray and put more effort into parenthood. I don't know.

    Meanwhile, IF this is true, you have society telling women they should want to marry and have children, only to have them discover it's no bed of roses.

    On a partly jocular note, the happiest women I ever met were nuns. :)




    Non si fa il proprio dovere perchè qualcuno ci dica grazie, lo si fa per principio, per se stessi, per la propria dignità. Oriana Fallaci

  2. #2
    Advisor Achievements:
    Three FriendsVeteran25000 Experience Points
    Awards:
    Most Popular
    bicicleur's Avatar
    Join Date
    27-01-13
    Location
    Zwevegem, Belgium
    Posts
    5,254
    Points
    41,765
    Level
    63
    Points: 41,765, Level: 63
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 1,185
    Overall activity: 63.0%


    Country: Belgium - Flanders



    the happiest people are rich people with few responsabilities, provided they can coop with their wealth and find something usefull to do for themselves

  3. #3
    Regular Member Achievements:
    3 months registered10000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    07-08-18
    Posts
    842
    Points
    10,677
    Level
    31
    Points: 10,677, Level: 31
    Level completed: 19%, Points required for next Level: 573
    Overall activity: 76.0%


    Country: Germany



    The women I know are as a rule less dependent and better at forming new relationships than the men I know. If they are at all representative it doesn't surprise me that women don't derive the same benefits from marriage and children.

    It took me a while to realize thisbecause popular culture would have you believe the opposite.

  4. #4
    Advisor Achievements:
    Three FriendsVeteran25000 Experience Points
    Awards:
    Most Popular
    bicicleur's Avatar
    Join Date
    27-01-13
    Location
    Zwevegem, Belgium
    Posts
    5,254
    Points
    41,765
    Level
    63
    Points: 41,765, Level: 63
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 1,185
    Overall activity: 63.0%


    Country: Belgium - Flanders



    Quote Originally Posted by markod View Post
    The women I know are as a rule less dependent and better at forming new relationships than the men I know. If they are at all representative it doesn't surprise me that women don't derive the same benefits from marriage and children.

    It took me a while to realize thisbecause popular culture would have you believe the opposite.
    they are representative
    it is a well-known fact

  5. #5
    Regular Member Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points1 year registered
    Joey37's Avatar
    Join Date
    11-06-18
    Location
    Coventry, Rhode Island
    Posts
    245
    Points
    2,551
    Level
    14
    Points: 2,551, Level: 14
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 199
    Overall activity: 15.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    R1a-YP445
    MtDNA haplogroup
    J1c2b

    Ethnic group
    Celto-Germanic
    Country: USA - Rhode Island



    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    No one should promote what is basically an evolutionary dead end. It's irresponsible. This is the kind of tripe that makes the alt-right think there is a secret cabal of Jews intent on eliminating the white race. With contraceptives and advanced medical care, this is the best time in history to start a family because you can control the amount of children you have and not like the old days when you just shot all your arrows into the air and then went to see what stuck.

  6. #6
    Advisor Achievements:
    VeteranThree Friends50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Angela's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-01-11
    Posts
    14,822
    Points
    249,149
    Level
    100
    Points: 249,149, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.6%


    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: USA - New York



    1 out of 2 members found this post helpful.
    I don't know if they're right and this can be replicated or not.

    However, don't shoot the messenger if it does turn out to be true.

    Women are, in my opinion, hard-wired to want children, probably partly because of hormones. Society also tells them constantly that they need a husband and children to be a "real" woman, and to be happy. That doesn't mean that it's always a joy. Being a wife and mother was never an unmitigated source of happiness no matter what society and your hormones were telling you to do.

    My grandmother bore eleven children to a selfish, inconsiderate, idle man whom she basically supported for the second half of his life. She delivered seven of those children herself because he took her to the forests of Pennsylvania to run a lumber company. He then lost half of it on bad investments back in Italy, and she had to get them back on their feet with businesses which she ran. He never raised a hand to do the cleaning or the mountains of wash, or the cooking and never took a hand in rearing those children. Everything I've read indicates this was the norm everywhere and in all eras. That was all woman's work.

    He used to say he didn't understand why all his children loved her more than him when he'd never laid a hand on them and she had. Well, he'd never done anything for or to them at all. Did she ever complain? No, she didn't, because that was a woman's lot in life. The closest she ever came was once when she was old she told me that every time her children were born her first thought was whether it was a girl or boy. If it was a girl she cried. Had she been honest I very much doubt she would have said marriage made her "happy", or that she wanted eleven children. That was, as I said, your lot in life.

    Yes, in some ways things are better now. There "is" birth control now, and better medical care. We don't see in cemeteries burials of men with three wives next to them, because women don't die in childbirth so often. However, it's still no bed of roses.

    Evolution would like women to have as many children as possible. Thank God we have the will and technology today to say I choose not to participate. Evolutionary purposes be damned.

    I've been lucky, and I also need and want my man with me. A lot of women, in my experience, are not like that. I know more than a few women, with husbands who make a very good living which necessitates them traveling a good part of the time, and you know what? That's more than fine with them so long as the checks come in. As more than one of them has said: it's just one less child to "mother". Many of them don't have particularly strong sex drives, and have more to say and more "emotional" intimacy with their mothers, sisters, and friends than they do with their husbands. I actually feel sorry for some of these men and do understand how they can wind up just feeling like a "paycheck".

    As Markod wisely alluded to upthread, women build communities for themselves. They survive widowhood and divorce much better than men in my experience. It's the men who are lost souls and have to quickly find another "wife". Most of the women I know tell me they would never marry again were they widowed. A "gentleman friend" would be great. Marriage? It's too much work.

  7. #7
    Regular Member Achievements:
    Three Friends1 year registered10000 Experience Points
    Salento's Avatar
    Join Date
    30-05-17
    Posts
    2,410
    Points
    18,867
    Level
    41
    Points: 18,867, Level: 41
    Level completed: 91%, Points required for next Level: 83
    Overall activity: 46.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    T1a2 -Z19945
    MtDNA haplogroup
    H12a

    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: United States



    I would never dare to impose my ethics on women's choices.

    That said :) imho If a woman isn't committed to marriage and motherhood, it would be best for everyone if she stay Zitella (single/no kids).

    That goes for men too! :)

  8. #8
    Regular Member Achievements:
    Three FriendsVeteran5000 Experience Points
    LABERIA's Avatar
    Join Date
    05-09-15
    Posts
    2,013
    Points
    5,539
    Level
    21
    Points: 5,539, Level: 21
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 11
    Overall activity: 6.0%


    Ethnic group
    Albanian
    Country: Albania



    0 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    A woman who has never experienced what it means to be a mother is not a woman.
    17 Dec.
    Paget to the Council.

    Now the Council's letters seem to imply (words quoted) that the King will keep no strangers save the Albanoys.

    Cales, 17 Dec. 1545. Signed.


  9. #9
    Regular Member Achievements:
    Three Friends1 year registered10000 Experience Points
    Salento's Avatar
    Join Date
    30-05-17
    Posts
    2,410
    Points
    18,867
    Level
    41
    Points: 18,867, Level: 41
    Level completed: 91%, Points required for next Level: 83
    Overall activity: 46.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    T1a2 -Z19945
    MtDNA haplogroup
    H12a

    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: United States



    2 out of 2 members found this post helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by LABERIA View Post
    A woman who has never experienced what it means to be a mother is not a woman.
    wow, you must be in touch with your inner woman.

    Remind me never to accept women's advice from you. LOL

  10. #10
    Regular Member Achievements:
    Three FriendsVeteran5000 Experience Points
    LABERIA's Avatar
    Join Date
    05-09-15
    Posts
    2,013
    Points
    5,539
    Level
    21
    Points: 5,539, Level: 21
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 11
    Overall activity: 6.0%


    Ethnic group
    Albanian
    Country: Albania



    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by Salento View Post
    wow, you must be in touch with your inner woman.

    Remind me never to accept women's advice from you. LOL
    https://www.geek.com/news/anaconda-g...arium-1788794/

  11. #11
    Regular Member Achievements:
    1 year registered1000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    18-03-17
    Posts
    236
    Points
    1,158
    Level
    9
    Points: 1,158, Level: 9
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 192
    Overall activity: 17.0%


    Ethnic group
    swiss,italian
    Country: Germany



    Quote Originally Posted by Joey37 View Post
    No one should promote what is basically an evolutionary dead end. It's irresponsible. This is the kind of tripe that makes the alt-right think there is a secret cabal of Jews intent on eliminating the white race. With contraceptives and advanced medical care, this is the best time in history to start a family because you can control the amount of children you have and not like the old days when you just shot all your arrows into the air and then went to see what stuck.
    It is imo kindof of irresponsible to have children especially now. makes 0 sense if we are honest. We aren't even playing the evolutionary game anymore.

  12. #12
    Advisor Achievements:
    Three FriendsVeteran25000 Experience Points
    Awards:
    Most Popular
    bicicleur's Avatar
    Join Date
    27-01-13
    Location
    Zwevegem, Belgium
    Posts
    5,254
    Points
    41,765
    Level
    63
    Points: 41,765, Level: 63
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 1,185
    Overall activity: 63.0%


    Country: Belgium - Flanders



    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    today we live in an artificial world, we've turned far away from the rythm of nature
    the framework has gone, but hormones are still at play
    it's hard to find new ways in harmony

  13. #13
    Advisor Achievements:
    Three FriendsVeteran25000 Experience Points
    Awards:
    Most Popular
    bicicleur's Avatar
    Join Date
    27-01-13
    Location
    Zwevegem, Belgium
    Posts
    5,254
    Points
    41,765
    Level
    63
    Points: 41,765, Level: 63
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 1,185
    Overall activity: 63.0%


    Country: Belgium - Flanders



    Quote Originally Posted by Ailchu View Post
    It is imo kindof of irresponsible to have children especially now. makes 0 sense if we are honest. We aren't even playing the evolutionary game anymore.
    I think it is irresponsable that we all live to become 100 years old and obstruct the new youth. It makes no sense.
    Does life make any sense?

  14. #14
    Regular Member Achievements:
    3 months registered5000 Experience Points
    Duarte's Avatar
    Join Date
    08-01-19
    Location
    Belo Horizonte
    Posts
    415
    Points
    6,728
    Level
    24
    Points: 6,728, Level: 24
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 322
    Overall activity: 87.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    R1b-L52(xU106)
    MtDNA haplogroup
    H2a2a1

    Ethnic group
    Mostly Lusitani/Vettones (Iberia)
    Country: Brazil



    Naughty Poem


    Children ... Children?
    Better not have them!
    But if we do not have them
    How to know them?
    If we do not have them
    How much silence
    How I love you!
    Sea bath
    Spouse flies
    Transpoin the space
    It gets salty
    Iodifycated
    What a nice
    What a brunette
    That wife stays!
    Result: child.
    And then begins
    The annoyance:
    The poop is white
    The poop is black
    He ate the button.
    Children? Children
    Better not have them
    Insomnia Nights
    Convulsive tears
    My God, save him!
    Children are the demon
    Better not have them ...
    But if we do not have them
    How to know them?
    How to know
    They suck razor
    They drink shampoo
    They put fire
    In the neighborhood
    But what thing
    What a crazy thing
    What a beautiful thing
    That children are!


    By Vinicius de Moraes
    “Às vezes ouço passar o vento; e só de ouvir o vento passar, vale a pena ter nascido”.
    Fernando Pessoa

  15. #15
    Regular Member Achievements:
    31 days registered500 Experience Points
    torzio's Avatar
    Join Date
    10-05-19
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    145
    Points
    601
    Level
    6
    Points: 601, Level: 6
    Level completed: 26%, Points required for next Level: 149
    Overall activity: 80.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    T1a2-Z19945
    MtDNA haplogroup
    H95a1

    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: Australia



    A long time ago, a scholar of marital sciences, stated that a Marriage should be a contract for only 10 years, then they ( wife and husband ) can split or renew a new contract for only 2 year periods.

  16. #16
    Advisor Achievements:
    VeteranThree Friends50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Angela's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-01-11
    Posts
    14,822
    Points
    249,149
    Level
    100
    Points: 249,149, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.6%


    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: USA - New York



    1 out of 2 members found this post helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by bicicleur View Post
    today we live in an artificial world, we've turned far away from the rythm of nature
    the framework has gone, but hormones are still at play
    it's hard to find new ways in harmony
    Beautifully said, Bicicleur. I completely agree.

    Yeats is one of my favorite poets.



    I just don't believe anymore that there will be a Second Coming of either Christ or Anti-Christ.

    Another is T.S. Eliot. One of his greatest poems is called "The Wasteland". If you haven't read it, you should, but only in English, although not when you're feeling a little depressed. :)

    As for whether life makes sense? When I was a religious woman, it did make sense. Now? To be honest, no, not to me it doesn't. The only thing to hold on to is the love of the people you love.

    @Duarte,


    See also:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ_4HEOfUdo

    These are only the little problems, of course.

  17. #17
    Regular Member Achievements:
    3 months registered5000 Experience Points
    Duarte's Avatar
    Join Date
    08-01-19
    Location
    Belo Horizonte
    Posts
    415
    Points
    6,728
    Level
    24
    Points: 6,728, Level: 24
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 322
    Overall activity: 87.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    R1b-L52(xU106)
    MtDNA haplogroup
    H2a2a1

    Ethnic group
    Mostly Lusitani/Vettones (Iberia)
    Country: Brazil



    Quote Originally Posted by Angela View Post
    @Duarte,


    See also:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ_4HEOfUdo

    These are only the little problems, of course.
    It’s all true. LOL. Very funny these stand up comedy shows

  18. #18
    Regular Member Achievements:
    500 Experience Points1 year registered
    Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    12-04-18
    Age
    27
    Posts
    104
    Points
    871
    Level
    7
    Points: 871, Level: 7
    Level completed: 61%, Points required for next Level: 79
    Overall activity: 0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    J-L283

    Ethnic group
    Ancient
    Country: United States



    Men probably are too. Truth is both are probably happier alone because changes to our lifestyle. And what we can do is more limited.

  19. #19
    Regular Member Achievements:
    1 year registered1000 Experience Points
    shissem@san.rr.com's Avatar
    Join Date
    07-05-17
    Location
    San Diego, California
    Posts
    119
    Points
    3,306
    Level
    16
    Points: 3,306, Level: 16
    Level completed: 64%, Points required for next Level: 144
    Overall activity: 13.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    G2a-Z726
    MtDNA haplogroup
    K1a4a1h

    Ethnic group
    English/German
    Country: USA - California



    Quote Originally Posted by Angela View Post
    See:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ppiness-expertInteresting that married people, probably women, answer the "happiness" question more negatively if their spouses aren't present. [/FONT][/COLOR]
    Have you heard that there has been a retraction of the claim above? Apparently the author misunderstood the survey data and assumed that "spouse absent" meant that the spouse was out of the room (and the respondent was therefore free to make disparaging remarks). Actually the term meant the spouse was no longer living with the respondent. The source is https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2...olan-happiness. The article has other disparaging things to say about the book the Guardian article was based on.I guess this fits under the heading of "don't believe everything you read".

  20. #20
    Advisor Achievements:
    VeteranThree Friends50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Angela's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-01-11
    Posts
    14,822
    Points
    249,149
    Level
    100
    Points: 249,149, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.6%


    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: USA - New York



    0 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
    Have you heard that there has been a retraction of the claim above? Apparently the author misunderstood the survey data and assumed that "spouse absent" meant that the spouse was out of the room (and the respondent was therefore free to make disparaging remarks). Actually the term meant the spouse was no longer living with the respondent. The source is https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2...olan-happiness. The article has other disparaging things to say about the book the Guardian article was based on.I guess this fits under the heading of "don't believe everything you read".
    Yes, I read that. However, wasn't the point that women were more "negative" when "spouse absent".

    I didn't really know how to interpret that. So, they were more negative when they were widowed and/or divorced? Maybe just when they had divorced?

    Shoddy workmanship, anyway.

  21. #21
    Regular Member Achievements:
    1 year registered1000 Experience Points
    shissem@san.rr.com's Avatar
    Join Date
    07-05-17
    Location
    San Diego, California
    Posts
    119
    Points
    3,306
    Level
    16
    Points: 3,306, Level: 16
    Level completed: 64%, Points required for next Level: 144
    Overall activity: 13.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    G2a-Z726
    MtDNA haplogroup
    K1a4a1h

    Ethnic group
    English/German
    Country: USA - California



    I am saddened that so many things I thought were true in the past (newspapers, published books, the evening news) have proved to be, at least in these modern days, shoddy and unreliable. Were they ever anything else? Part of growing up was to realize that humans are fallible. However, I had hoped that large publishers at least had the integrity, and the editors, to ensure what they distributed was close to accurate. I don't like living in a world where everything is political and nothing is reliable. The only answer, I guess, is to use your nose. If it doesn't smell right, it probably isn't.

  22. #22
    Regular Member Achievements:
    1 year registered
    Tutkun Arnaut's Avatar
    Join Date
    31-03-18
    Posts
    269

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    I2a2a(m223)(L801)

    Country: Albania



    Quote Originally Posted by Angela View Post
    See:
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ppiness-expert

    "“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”

    This isn't the first time I've seen someone make this claim. Single women live longer than married women, married men live longer than single men, etc.

    My first reaction is that I've grown to distrust "psychology" papers. There is a huge replication crisis, partly because of small sample sizes and partly because of terrible statistical analysis or downright "tinkering" with data to get the required results.

    Interesting that married people, probably women, answer the "happiness" question more negatively if their spouses aren't present.

    There are a few common sense explanations, of course.

    "Men benefited from marriage because they “calmed down”, he said. “You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children,” he said."

    "
    Dolan said men showed more health benefits from tying the knot, as they took fewer risks. Women’s health was mostly unaffected by marriage, with middle-aged married women even being at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single counterparts."

    One could say, I suppose, that a life trying to balance work with taking the major responsibility for the home and the children leads to a lot of stress and that's the cause.

    A lot would depend on which husband and what kind of children, I would imagine. I've seen other studies which say that much more so in recent times than in the past both men and women say they regret having children. Given how some turn out nowadays than in the past I'm not surprised. I've also seen studies that deeply religious married couples are happier. Maybe they're fooling themselves, or maybe husbands in those situations are more likely not to stray and put more effort into parenthood. I don't know.

    Meanwhile, IF this is true, you have society telling women they should want to marry and have children, only to have them discover it's no bed of roses.

    On a partly jocular note, the happiest women I ever met were nuns. :)


    I do not believe these kind of articles!! It could be some outliers but generally women want children and a husband. Women health gets better after deliveries, and women who have kids live longer.

  23. #23
    Regular Member Achievements:
    1 year registered1000 Experience Points
    shissem@san.rr.com's Avatar
    Join Date
    07-05-17
    Location
    San Diego, California
    Posts
    119
    Points
    3,306
    Level
    16
    Points: 3,306, Level: 16
    Level completed: 64%, Points required for next Level: 144
    Overall activity: 13.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    G2a-Z726
    MtDNA haplogroup
    K1a4a1h

    Ethnic group
    English/German
    Country: USA - California



    I don't know, I try, as a man, to be careful telling women what they feel or what their lives are like. But . . . it seems that most people to want to couple up. If married women hated their married lives so much I don't think we'd see so many divorced people remarrying.

    I can say, as an older man, that it feels good to know you have someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Being two is better than being one.

    That being said, the question is, how do we tell which articles to disbelieve? It can't be just those we disagree with.

  24. #24
    Advisor Achievements:
    VeteranThree Friends50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Angela's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-01-11
    Posts
    14,822
    Points
    249,149
    Level
    100
    Points: 249,149, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.6%


    Ethnic group
    Italian
    Country: USA - New York



    0 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    Quote Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
    I don't know, I try, as a man, to be careful telling women what they feel or what their lives are like. But . . . it seems that most people to want to couple up. If married women hated their married lives so much I don't think we'd see so many divorced people remarrying.

    I can say, as an older man, that it feels good to know you have someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Being two is better than being one.

    That being said, the question is, how do we tell which articles to disbelieve? It can't be just those we disagree with.
    Well, the fact that the author used such sloppy methodology puts me off this one.

    It doesn't mean it might not be true; it just means I would never use this study as support for the proposition.

    I don't know the answer.

    I've lost my faith in a lot of psychology research given the replication problem.

    As to the underlying issues, ignoring any of the "psychology" papers, I can only go both by my own experience and what I hear from women friends.

    For many of them, if they could continue their lifestyle (i.e. the same amount of money was coming in), they'd have a boyfriend, but most would not "marry" again, as in live in the same house, have "obligations", duties, etc. Of course, this is a completely unscientific sample. :)

    I mean, look at the divorce statistics: if women are married to doctors, they're less likely to get divorced. Is that because doctors just make better husbands, or pick nicer women, or do financial factors enter into the picture?

    Just to get personal for a second, I always wanted to be married, and I'd do it again if I had my life to live over again (Ever watch the film "Peggy Sue Got Married"?) However, at this stage in my life, if something happened, I doubt I'd marry again. I've done a lot of compromising. I wouldn't want to start compromising all over again because of someone else's needs, habits, attitudes. My gentleman friend and I could go out, he could stay overnight, but then he could go home and do his own laundry, and my home and my life would be run the way "I" want. Plus, I doubt I'm any longer capable of feeling for another man what I felt and still feel to a great degree for my husband: that kind of hit by "un colpo di fulmine", I'd walk through fire for you, I can't bear to be apart, thing perhaps only happens and imprints you when you're young.

    Honestly, I think it will be decades before scientists really figure out human emotions, sexual attraction, "love", if they ever do.

    That isn't to say that I don't know women who have to be married or they feel adrift. That's more than fine. No lifestyle is perfect for everybody.

  25. #25
    Elite member Achievements:
    Three FriendsRecommendation Second ClassVeteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    07-09-14
    Posts
    4,496
    Points
    58,275
    Level
    74
    Points: 58,275, Level: 74
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 275
    Overall activity: 64.0%

    Y-DNA haplogroup
    R1b
    MtDNA haplogroup
    W6

    Ethnic group
    Polish
    Country: Poland



    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful.
    The gender gap in longevity disappears in a study of monks and nuns:

    https://www.allianz.com/en/press/new...013-09-11.html

    This is based on a German study (small decline in life expectancy for monks in the 1970s coincides with permitting monks to smoke cigarettes):



    If monks live much longer than married men, while nuns do not live much longer than married women, then something has to be wrong with an article which claims that marriage benefits men's health more.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •