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Thread: What can tinder tell us about human nature?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFO3DBafAY

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    What can tinder tell us about human nature?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFO3DBafAY



    See:
    https://mailchi.mp/f034c22a3f36/huma...nvy-7002243?e=[UNIQID

    A few bits...

    "The landscape has changed for everyone on the dating market. Even those who don’t use these apps.

    This is because even for the people who don’t use the apps, they still live in an environment where others use them.

    Over time, those who don’t use them have adapted to the preferences and behavior of those who do use them. Not the other way around.

    One example of how the scene has changed. I have a friend from college. A good-looking guy. He showed me how many women he has matched with: More than 21,000. Twenty-one thousand.

    Tinder actually identified him as a valuable user early on, and gave him free perks and upgrades. They lifted his radius restrictions. This gave him the ability to match with women all over the world.

    I have another friend. Doesn’t have the best pictures on his profile, but not a bad looking guy. Over roughly the same period of time as my other friend, he has matched with seven women."


    "
    -7 out of 10 college students have used Tinder. source

    -18 to 25 percent of Tinder users are in a committed relationship. source

    -Women aged 23 to 27 are twice as likely to swipe right ("liked") on a man with a master's degree compared with a bachelor's degree. source

    -Men swipe right (“liked”) on about 62 percent of the women’s profiles they see; women swipe right (“liked”) on about 5 percent of the men’s profiles they see. source

    -Half of men who use dating apps while in a committed relationship reported having sex with another person they met on a dating app. All women who used dating apps while in a committed relationship reported having sex with another person they met on a dating app. source

    -30 percent of men who use Tinder are married"

    Well, that was depressing.


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    I agree with you Angela. This is all very sad and depressing. But, IMO, what is happening today through dating apps is just a transposition of what has been happening in the real world for a long time. I work in the world of large corporations since I was 23 years old, when I started my professional life in São Paulo, and I am in this world until today, since a long time ago in my native land, Belo Horizonte. I can no longer count the number of times I have been harassed by married women and married men (that's right, believe me, married men). I've always been polite. I don't easily lose my temper. It takes a lot of effort to get me lose of my mind. When I was single, I always said that I did not relate to committed people and, after being married, I said that I was faithful to my wife. I was telling the truth.


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    1 members found this post helpful.
    Is that a humble brag? . . . :)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duarte View Post
    I agree with you Angela. This is all very sad and depressing. But, IMO, what is happening today through dating apps is just a transposition of what has been happening in the real world for a long time. I work in the world of large corporations since I was 23 years old, when I started my professional life in São Paulo, and I am in this world until today, since a long time ago in my native land, Belo Horizonte. I can no longer count the number of times I have been harassed by married women and married men (that's right, believe me, married men). I've always been polite. I don't easily lose my temper. It takes a lot of effort to get me lose of my mind. When I was single, I always said that I did not relate to committed people and, after being married, I said that I was faithful to my wife. I was telling the truth.


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    Do you really think it was the same in our parents' generation, though? I mean, I know there were always some married men who cheated, but to the extent it happens now? And what of women? I grew up in a large extended family, my father alone having ten brothers and sisters, and the idea that any of my aunts, or even one of my uncles would have done such a thing is unthinkable.

    It changed with my generation, but not for everyone, and certainly not for me. However they managed it, between them the nuns at my convent school and my parents molded me in a different way. Heck, I had a hard time believing my mother ever had sex. In fact, when, at the age of 13 mind you, my cousin told me "the facts of life", I hotly replied that perhaps my father would do such a thing, but my mother never! Years later my cousins are still laughing about it.:) Prior to that I thought you got pregnant by kissing. I'm serious. I'm not a stupid person, but somehow it never occurred to me to wonder how all those women passionately kissing men didn't get pregnant.

    University and the "sexual revolution" were a shock, but couples still dated first most of the time, a lot of women still waited until they were in a caring relationship, most of my friends and acquaintances are still faithful to their spouses.

    It's completely different now, as my children keep telling me. They also complain about it, both the girl and the boy.

    I'm glad I was born when I was, although probably even earlier would have been better. :)

    This is what I mean...

    My grandmother's favorite child was her third eldest daughter, Ida. She was the prototype of the perfect Italian daughter: accomplished, could turn her hands to anything, dutiful and obedient, tremendously helpful with the younger children. She literally married the boy next door when she was almost twenty. My nonna told me that they walked hand in hand to school. Both she and her baby died during childbirth, right on the bed where she had slept as a girl. For apparently the one and only time in her life my nonna had a breakdown. She was in that room, crying, for weeks. They finally nailed it shut to keep her out of it. For more than forty years Ida's husband would go to the cemetery behind the church every Sunday after Mass to put flowers on their graves. He did that even after he remarried years later and had two other children.

    That's the kind of love in which I believe, and which I try to practice, that and the colpo di fulmine. :)

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    @Duarte
    lost in translation? ... you being a man, maybe you meant to say courtship instead of harassment..

    Harassment is a very strong word with many negative implications.

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    Quote Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
    Is that a humble brag? . . . :)
    Hi shissem

    LOL. This is not that a humble brag, but, of course, I was never a humble person. I was born in a splendid cradle, for my lucky and, yes, I am vain. LOL ;)

    I cannot deny that I inherited my father's posture, who was a handsome and elegant man but, unlike me, he was a very closed and reserved person. I inherited my father's appearance and my mother's personality. Benefits. Yes, many. The other day I went to the City Forum to solve a problem of family inheritance and, after enter to the enclosure, the security guards who passed by greeted me and called me a Doc. Obviously, I politely bowed my head and responded to all greetings. I can imagine the disappointment they had when they saw me being attended at the Courthouse's Secretariat and not directly at the judge's office. LOL. Yes, the world we live in is a world that valorize much the appearance and, unfortunately, appearance matters a lot. My best friend is a black man. Materials engineer, specialist in steel industry furnaces. Polyglot. Winemaker. Much smarter and more capable than me. He is always traveling for work. USA, Europe, Latin America, China, Saudi Arabia. When we go out together, in restaurants, the menu always comes to me. The wine list always comes to me. They ask me if I already chose the wine. My answer is always the same. I don't know anything about wines, my friend understands and he will choose the dishes and the drink. Not to mention that, in Belo Horizonte, when he maneuvered his own car in a parking lot, after he put the car in the parking space, a lady came in a hurry, stopped the car, and asked him to maneuver her car, mistaking him with the valet parking.

    This is the Brazil, and is for that that I am on left.

    Nothing against who are on right. I am a Democrat and I respect the differences. My brothers, family and friends say that I am "Limousine Liberal ". I dont care. At the University I was quite popular, but I was known as the rebel without a cause. Perhaps for them, all children of the elite, I really would have no cause and no reason to criticize the system ;)

    Cheers dear friend

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    Quote Originally Posted by Salento View Post
    @Duarte
    lost in translation? ... you being a man, maybe you meant to say courtship instead of harassment..

    Harassment is a very strong word with many negative implications.
    You are right Salento. Courtship it's a better word than harassment. I never felt offended. It was just unrequited courtship. If it had been harassment, had been crime.



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    What can tinder tell us about human nature?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFO3DBafAY

    Quote Originally Posted by Angela View Post
    Do you really think it was the same in our parents' generation, though? I mean, I know there were always some married men who cheated, but to the extent it happens now? And what of women? I grew up in a large extended family, my father alone having ten brothers and sisters, and the idea that any of my aunts, or even one of my uncles would have done such a thing is unthinkable.

    It changed with my generation, but not for everyone, and certainly not for me. However they managed it, between them the nuns at my convent school and my parents molded me in a different way. Heck, I had a hard time believing my mother ever had sex. In fact, when, at the age of 13 mind you, my cousin told me "the facts of life", I hotly replied that perhaps my father would do such a thing, but my mother never! Years later my cousins are still laughing about it.:) Prior to that I thought you got pregnant by kissing. I'm serious. I'm not a stupid person, but somehow it never occurred to me to wonder how all those women passionately kissing men didn't get pregnant.

    University and the "sexual revolution" were a shock, but couples still dated first most of the time, a lot of women still waited until they were in a caring relationship, most of my friends and acquaintances are still faithful to their spouses.

    It's completely different now, as my children keep telling me. They also complain about it, both the girl and the boy.

    I'm glad I was born when I was, although probably even earlier would have been better. :)

    This is what I mean...

    My grandmother's favorite child was her third eldest daughter, Ida. She was the prototype of the perfect Italian daughter: accomplished, could turn her hands to anything, dutiful and obedient, tremendously helpful with the younger children. She literally married the boy next door when she was almost twenty. My nonna told me that they walked hand in hand to school. Both she and her baby died during childbirth, right on the bed where she had slept as a girl. For apparently the one and only time in her life my nonna had a breakdown. She was in that room, crying, for weeks. They finally nailed it shut to keep her out of it. For more than forty years Ida's husband would go to the cemetery behind the church every Sunday after Mass to put flowers on their graves. He did that even after he remarried years later and had two other children.

    That's the kind of love in which I believe, and which I try to practice, that and the colpo di fulmine. :)
    I understand what you are saying Angela. My father was a traditionalist man, and my mother too, although she was much more liberal than my father and had a mind more open than He.
    Cheers:)


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    Quote Originally Posted by Duarte View Post
    I understand what you are saying Angela. My father was a traditionalist man, and my mother too, although she was much more liberal than my father and had a mind more open than He.
    Cheers:)


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    Well, I don't think of myself as closed minded, but I also understand you. :) I would have fit better in my parents time than in my own.

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    Since my kids both used Tinder to find girlfriends/boyfriends I think I know a thing or two about it. My daughter found the man she's going to marry through tinder and they just moved in together. My son has found his last two long term girlfriends through Tinder. I think it is wonderful. It is a tool to meet people. The old tools such as meeting mates through friends, at the bar at work or through a matchmaker are too limiting and limited.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigsnake49 View Post
    Since my kids both used Tinder to find girlfriends/boyfriends I think I know a thing or two about it. My daughter found the man she's going to marry through tinder and they just moved in together. My son has found his last two long term girlfriends through Tinder. I think it is wonderful. It is a tool to meet people. The old tools such as meeting mates through friends, at the bar at work or through a matchmaker are too limiting and limited.
    I'm so glad it worked out for them.

    Yes, I'm sure they can indeed be useful.

    My point, and the point of the article, was to point out how some people use it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angela View Post
    I'm so glad it worked out for them.

    Yes, I'm sure they can indeed be useful.

    My point, and the point of the article, was to point out how some people use it.
    Married men and women were cheating before Tinder. Unmarried men and women were having sex before marriage before Tinder. All that Tinder does is expand the potential market so to speak. Picking up girls in a bar was a far worse thing since both partners judgement might have been impaired by alcohol and low light ;). I too believe in colpo di fulmine also. So much so that my wife of 38 years and sex on our first date. Trying to get rid of her roommate who was supposed to chaperone us was another was another story altogether.

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