Are parents to blame for the way their kid(s) turn out?

[Jack]

if they have no involvement in the way they turn out, are they just a glorified babysitter? family and upbringing is always the cause of murderers.

 

[Yokan]

It matters who the person is, I think. Like I was brought up with my mum and dad till I was 8 (or 9 ) until my dad died of throat Cancer, then my mum just looked after me. However, I don't really think the way I am today was due to my upbringing, I think that is appart of my tastes and how friends have affected me. I'm nothign like my mum anyway. :relief: I used to be very like her tho, in tastes, then i learned the word 'independance'

y0kan

 

[Carlson]

No, and im proof of that.

My dad left before i was born.

My mom did drugs and drank alot along with her boyfriend

when i grew up there was no support and guidance.

Children know what is right and what is wrong. they have the right to choose what to do and to make things better. I grew up, many times not having food to eat while my mother had money for drugs. I was smart enough to watch and learn and when i was old enough at 16 i went to the court house and was legaly able to move out. My first 2 years of highschool i got an average GPA of around 2.0 and my last 2 years living on my own i got a 3.8 and 4.0. the effects of my "parents" growing up had alot to do with my emotional state, even today and with how i turned out. but in the end I choose my path and today am proud to say i have everything i want. a purpose in live, great job, money, a relationship, ect.

so unless there is something wrong with the child, mentaly.

if i was to let myself become another satistic under the enviroment i grew up in and the way my mother raised me i would be the punk teenager drinking and selling drugs.

 

[Nicky]

No.
My parents had three kids. Yet the only child that turned into a horrible person was my sister. She ignored every thing our parents taught us because she thought that her "friends" on the street were smarter and better and cooler, So whatever they told her became truth. And they told her things that were contrary to what we were taught at home.


Now she's 27, and the type of person who still won't take responsiblity for anything. A good example is that she didn't go to college. This was her own choice but now that she's 27 she somehow manages to convince herself that it was our parents fault for not "forcing" her.

 

[Sophialiu]

My parents are very strict with our sister, that's good for our pullulation.

 

[Wheal]

I have two grown sons. My theory was to give them some freedom and see how they handled it. If they had trouble, you reel them back in until they showed they could handle it, and give them more. They were both very well balanced and successful. One of the best things I ever did was let them be exchange students, one to Germany, one to France. They learned many lessons there especially about drinking and driving.

 

[SoloWarrior]

In many ways yes. But there's plenty of outside factors.

 

[LeBrok]

In many ways yes.

I will use my four colleagues for example. Supposedly they're professionals. I say supposedly because I've seen better manners from homeless people. These four (3 men, 1 womanl) are in one word ignorant, arrogant and in many ways outright bullies due to their 'superior' than thou complexes even to other professionals. Oops, that was an entire sentence.

You would have to experience the 'charming' group yourself. However, I can tell you not many people quite pick up the level of their (ignorant) behavior from a school yard. And if you listen in on their conversations about how their family life it is apparently a carry over from the way that their parents treated them & acted towards other people. More so it is obvious in how the woman & one of the guys is teaching their children to behave in a similar manner.

Also inherited genetic predisposition to being a dick. Human character is not only about nurture. Nature is powerful too.
Welcome to Eupedia Opium.

 

[Salento]

Until 21, blame your Parents. After that, grow up and shut-up.
Ancient Rule, often repeated by Parents of the “Tavoliere Delle Puglie”.

 

[Iulius]

Do you think the way your parents raise you, everything they do and don't do make you who you are now?

I'm very much like my parents, and I attribute that to both genetics, and how they've raised me. Sometimes it clashes with other people, but I really don't care, because it makes perfect sense to me.

 

[Angela]

I'm very much like my parents, and I attribute that to both genetics, and how they've raised me. Sometimes it clashes with other people, but I really don't care, because it makes perfect sense to me.

Amen, amen.

 

[noman]

Yes!
Spank them, when they need it.

 

[firetown]

I do believe that parents start patterns. They can be positive ones and they can be negative ones. Yes, patterns can be broken. But often they are not. So "are parents to blame"? I think the question is fundamentally wrong as blame is never worth finding. Solutions are. So when someone says "you cannot blame the parents" I have a strong issue with it as it whitewashes whatever they may have done or not done and wanting to be labeled "not to blame" should not be in any interest to parents... a great future for their child should be. And when you say "the parents are to blame", you put someone into a victim position rather than focusing their energy towards breaking the patterns and living a good life regardless of how messed up their childhood and their parents might have been.

 

[RosieRosie]

Everything in moderation.

 

[Wheal]

I think it's is a reflection on the parents. I raised my boys with as much freedom as they could handle. When they got in trouble, I reel them back in and let them back out slowly. For instance, my younger son at 17 was caught drinking by the state police and they took him to jail (after a call to me to get his jeep). When I finally was able to pick him up and walking to the car, I said, "I don't know if I've ever been more disappointed in you." He said it was the worst punishment ever. The next day I told him his punishment would be that since he got into trouble by 10:00 p.m., that would be his curfew until further notice. It lasted about 2 months, and he came to me and begged to stay out later, saying he'd learned his lesson. I let him stay out later and he kept his word.

 

[Wanderer]

Its not always the parents complete fault.
Friends influence alot. But also its the childs decisions to make his or hers choices

 

[dyterw]

it is true that parents play a role in shaping their children's behavior, ultimately, kids are responsible for their own actions. Just as parents cannot force their children to eat healthy foods or do their homework, they cannot make them behave in a certain way. Kids who are raised in loving homes with attentive parents often turn out well, but even the best-intentioned parents cannot guarantee that their children will never make bad decisions. At the end of the day, each person is responsible for his or her own choices, and that includes kids.

Sometimes you see that the parents are wonderful people, cultured, etc., and the child is connected with the wrong company and what do not do, if he is drawn there, he will find 1000 ways to imitate them.

So while parents may be partly to blame for the way their kids turn out, they are not wholly responsible!