The Land of the Free, as Americans like to call their country, has more weird and uselessly restrictive laws (at a state, county or municipal level) than any other developed country. There are many websites listing such stupid laws. Dumb Laws is one of the most popular. It has other countries than the USA as well, but after a quick overview I couldn't find anything remotely as funny or outlandish as those listed for the US.
Instead of categorising them by state, I will make a small selection by topic.
Emergency services
- In New England, fire engines are limited to 40 km/h, even in case of emergency. Likewise, ambulances are limited to 30 km/h in Port Huron, Michigan.
- In Fort Madison, Indiana, fire-fighters must have a 15-minute warm-up (really ?) before putting out a fire (is that to avoid heat strokes ?)
- In New Orleans, fire engines must stop at every red light (probably the only place in the world !)
Cow boy laws
- Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging in Mississippi.
- In Florida, penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
- In Little Rock, Arkansas, It is illegal to walk one’s cow down the high street after 1 pm on Sunday (damn, what are we gonna do ?). Indiana has a similar law about horses.
- In Oklahoma, it is illegal for the bar owner to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
Many of the laws on the above website are just weird, but some could be considered to be against Human Rights, like some of the following.
Puritan & fundamentalist Christian laws
- In Halethorpe, Maryland, it is prohibited to kiss for more than a second.
- In Hartford, Connecticut, it is prohibited to kiss your spouse on Sunday.
- In Little Rock, Arkansas, flirting between a man and a woman will land you for 30 days in jail.
- In Florida and West Virginia unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and are not allowed to live together. They may face up to a year in prison in West Virginia. On the other hand the same state declares that it is legal for a man to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. Go figure.
- In Florida again, it is considered an offence to shower naked. Furthermore, you may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
- In Mississippi, adultery and sex outside marriage is punishable of a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison. Unmarried sex is also illegal in Virginia, Oklahoma and other states. And I thought that that kind of law only existed in fundamentalist Islamic countries ! Worse, in Wisconsin the state definition of rape is "a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife". Not even the Talebans go this far.
- Oral sex is illegal in Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Missouri, Indiana, Minnesota as well as in other states. The law in Oklahoma sets a punishment of one year in jail and a $2,500 fine for oral sex.
- Only the missionary position is legal when having sex in Florida, Virginia and North Carolina. In Massachusetts the law is more flexible and just says that a woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
- This goes further in Mississippi, where "unnatural intercourse" (whatever that means), if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
- In South Carolina, by law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place. Similarly, in Mississippi a man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
- All sex toys are banned in the state of Georgia as well as in some other states or counties.
- In Louisiana, running an abortion advertisement can land you in jail for a year.
- In Tennessee, no more than 8 women may not live in the same house, because that would constitute a brothel. In Pennsylvania it is 16. Tennessian parents with 6 girls had better not try conceive another child for fear it is a girl ! Ohio reaches extremes of ridicules in that matter by making it illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
- In Mississippi it is illegal to teach others what polygamy is. What's more, anyone found to be the parent of (at least) two illegitimate children will spend at least one month in jail.
- In South Carolina and Virginia, no work may be done on Sunday (obvious Christian fundamentalist influence). However, it is legal to beat your wife in public on Sunday in South Carolina ! Idaho wants to make sure that everybody respect the Lord's day and has decreed that even riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
Male chauvinist laws
- In the state of Arkansas men have the right to hit their wife once a month !
- In Los Angeles any man are allowed to hit his wife with a leather belt if it is under 2 inches wide, or bigger with his wife's authorisation (is that because of sado-masochist culture ?).
- In Florida, unmarried women are prohibited to do parachute on Sundays, or shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
- In Oklahoma, women are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. In Nebraska, it is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
- In Carrizozo, New Mexico, it is forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
- In Montana, it is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail. That approaches the level of freedom of women in Saudi Arabia.
Discriminatory or racist laws
- Interracial marriages are illegal in Tennessee.
- Tattooing and body piercing is illegal in Massachusetts and some other states.
- Massachusetts still has an ordinance banning goatees unless the person first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
- In Massachusetts it is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. However, a local Boston law states that it is illegal to have a bath without a doctor's prescription ! Is that a political coup of the medical association of Boston legally forcing the whole city population to get daily prescriptions for compulsory baths (by state law) otherwise banned (by city law) ?
- Illinois law declares that the English language is not to be spoken (as opposed to the American language). This is utterly discriminatory against British, Australian or other native speakers of English visiting or living in the state.
- In Cicero, Illinois, humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. And they call it the land of freedom ?
- A few states or cities prohibit games such as bowling, boxing or pinball machines.
- In Pennsylvania it is not allowed to sing in a bathtub. What is that, a Gestapo state ?
- In Carmel, New York, it is illegal to eat ice cream while standing on the sidewalk.
- The state of Ohio prohibits breast feeding in public.
- Montana still has a law stating that seven or more Indians are considered a raiding party and that it is legal to shoot them. In the 21st century, can you believe that ?
- In Texas, one must acknowledge the existence of a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
Instead of categorising them by state, I will make a small selection by topic.
Emergency services
- In New England, fire engines are limited to 40 km/h, even in case of emergency. Likewise, ambulances are limited to 30 km/h in Port Huron, Michigan.
- In Fort Madison, Indiana, fire-fighters must have a 15-minute warm-up (really ?) before putting out a fire (is that to avoid heat strokes ?)
- In New Orleans, fire engines must stop at every red light (probably the only place in the world !)
Cow boy laws
- Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging in Mississippi.
- In Florida, penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
- In Little Rock, Arkansas, It is illegal to walk one’s cow down the high street after 1 pm on Sunday (damn, what are we gonna do ?). Indiana has a similar law about horses.
- In Oklahoma, it is illegal for the bar owner to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
Many of the laws on the above website are just weird, but some could be considered to be against Human Rights, like some of the following.
Puritan & fundamentalist Christian laws
- In Halethorpe, Maryland, it is prohibited to kiss for more than a second.
- In Hartford, Connecticut, it is prohibited to kiss your spouse on Sunday.
- In Little Rock, Arkansas, flirting between a man and a woman will land you for 30 days in jail.
- In Florida and West Virginia unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and are not allowed to live together. They may face up to a year in prison in West Virginia. On the other hand the same state declares that it is legal for a man to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. Go figure.
- In Florida again, it is considered an offence to shower naked. Furthermore, you may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
- In Mississippi, adultery and sex outside marriage is punishable of a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison. Unmarried sex is also illegal in Virginia, Oklahoma and other states. And I thought that that kind of law only existed in fundamentalist Islamic countries ! Worse, in Wisconsin the state definition of rape is "a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife". Not even the Talebans go this far.
- Oral sex is illegal in Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Missouri, Indiana, Minnesota as well as in other states. The law in Oklahoma sets a punishment of one year in jail and a $2,500 fine for oral sex.
- Only the missionary position is legal when having sex in Florida, Virginia and North Carolina. In Massachusetts the law is more flexible and just says that a woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
- This goes further in Mississippi, where "unnatural intercourse" (whatever that means), if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
- In South Carolina, by law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place. Similarly, in Mississippi a man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
- All sex toys are banned in the state of Georgia as well as in some other states or counties.
- In Louisiana, running an abortion advertisement can land you in jail for a year.
- In Tennessee, no more than 8 women may not live in the same house, because that would constitute a brothel. In Pennsylvania it is 16. Tennessian parents with 6 girls had better not try conceive another child for fear it is a girl ! Ohio reaches extremes of ridicules in that matter by making it illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
- In Mississippi it is illegal to teach others what polygamy is. What's more, anyone found to be the parent of (at least) two illegitimate children will spend at least one month in jail.
- In South Carolina and Virginia, no work may be done on Sunday (obvious Christian fundamentalist influence). However, it is legal to beat your wife in public on Sunday in South Carolina ! Idaho wants to make sure that everybody respect the Lord's day and has decreed that even riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
Male chauvinist laws
- In the state of Arkansas men have the right to hit their wife once a month !
- In Los Angeles any man are allowed to hit his wife with a leather belt if it is under 2 inches wide, or bigger with his wife's authorisation (is that because of sado-masochist culture ?).
- In Florida, unmarried women are prohibited to do parachute on Sundays, or shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
- In Oklahoma, women are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. In Nebraska, it is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
- In Carrizozo, New Mexico, it is forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
- In Montana, it is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail. That approaches the level of freedom of women in Saudi Arabia.
Discriminatory or racist laws
- Interracial marriages are illegal in Tennessee.
- Tattooing and body piercing is illegal in Massachusetts and some other states.
- Massachusetts still has an ordinance banning goatees unless the person first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
- In Massachusetts it is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. However, a local Boston law states that it is illegal to have a bath without a doctor's prescription ! Is that a political coup of the medical association of Boston legally forcing the whole city population to get daily prescriptions for compulsory baths (by state law) otherwise banned (by city law) ?
- Illinois law declares that the English language is not to be spoken (as opposed to the American language). This is utterly discriminatory against British, Australian or other native speakers of English visiting or living in the state.
- In Cicero, Illinois, humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. And they call it the land of freedom ?
- A few states or cities prohibit games such as bowling, boxing or pinball machines.
- In Pennsylvania it is not allowed to sing in a bathtub. What is that, a Gestapo state ?
- In Carmel, New York, it is illegal to eat ice cream while standing on the sidewalk.
- The state of Ohio prohibits breast feeding in public.
- Montana still has a law stating that seven or more Indians are considered a raiding party and that it is legal to shoot them. In the 21st century, can you believe that ?
- In Texas, one must acknowledge the existence of a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
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