In their new best-seller Why Men Lie and Women Cry , Allan and Barbara Pease write about 7 things their women readers have ask them to explain about men. Why do (typical) men :
1) Why do men continually offer solutions and give advice
2) Why do men keep flicking through the channels with the remote control ?
3) Why won't men stop and ask for directions ?
4) Why do men insist on leaving the toilet seat up ?
5) Why do men make such a fuss about going shopping ?
6) Why do men have such distgusting personal habits ? (=farting)
7) Why do men like gross jokes ?
I don't know what kind of people were surveyed, bu it seems to me that numbers 4 and 6 reveal low socio-economic level (possibly 7 too). I do understand what they mean for all of them, and it's true women are much less likely to behave like that than men. Read the book for explanations. What I am interested in is discuss these points.
1) The important thing to learn was not to "try to fix" a woman who wants to speak because she is stressed. Men want to settle their problems with solutions. Women just need to talk, be listened and get emotional support, not solutions. In this respect, I am a bit too virile. But I've learnt a lot about women's psychology, which helped me a lot with my wife.
2) I rarely watch TV, but when I do I first zap through all channels to know what's on, corresponding to A. and B. Pease's description that a man "doesn't want to know what's on TV, but what else is on TV".
3) Clear for me. I don't need it. My orientation has never failed me. But I admit that I hate asking or even worse being proposed help when I am looking at a public map in the street. I usually feel offended. I thought I was peculiar, but it seems lots of men are just like that, as their orientation skills are their pride.
4) Here is one think I spurn as primitive. I never stand to pee. I always sit like women. As they say, men usually miss the toilet and piss on the seat, floor or even on the wallpaper or roll of toilet paper ! After drops fall along their legs, trousers or shoes. That's really distgusting !
5) I don't dislike shopping, as long as I go where I want at my pace. When I have to follow my wife and wait for her to try everything, it bores me and gives me a headache afterwards. So I guess I almost fit the book's description.
6) That is also unthinkable for me. They say that to some men, farting is actually a source of entertainment where the biggest farter comes out victorious. Ditto for burping. I don't know if it's my education or just sensitivity, but I find this terribly rude and always try to be as discreet as possible so that nobody hears or smells anything (even when I am alone and at home - just the habit). Old Japanese of both sex are perfect counter examples of my (cultural) manners.
7) I wonder. Humour is far from universal. The typical jokes cited in the book are those likely to make me laugh, but neither were some cited for female humour. I guess it's a matter of culture and personality.
What do you other men out there think about that ? How does it fit for you ?
1) Why do men continually offer solutions and give advice
2) Why do men keep flicking through the channels with the remote control ?
3) Why won't men stop and ask for directions ?
4) Why do men insist on leaving the toilet seat up ?
5) Why do men make such a fuss about going shopping ?
6) Why do men have such distgusting personal habits ? (=farting)
7) Why do men like gross jokes ?
I don't know what kind of people were surveyed, bu it seems to me that numbers 4 and 6 reveal low socio-economic level (possibly 7 too). I do understand what they mean for all of them, and it's true women are much less likely to behave like that than men. Read the book for explanations. What I am interested in is discuss these points.
1) The important thing to learn was not to "try to fix" a woman who wants to speak because she is stressed. Men want to settle their problems with solutions. Women just need to talk, be listened and get emotional support, not solutions. In this respect, I am a bit too virile. But I've learnt a lot about women's psychology, which helped me a lot with my wife.
2) I rarely watch TV, but when I do I first zap through all channels to know what's on, corresponding to A. and B. Pease's description that a man "doesn't want to know what's on TV, but what else is on TV".
3) Clear for me. I don't need it. My orientation has never failed me. But I admit that I hate asking or even worse being proposed help when I am looking at a public map in the street. I usually feel offended. I thought I was peculiar, but it seems lots of men are just like that, as their orientation skills are their pride.
4) Here is one think I spurn as primitive. I never stand to pee. I always sit like women. As they say, men usually miss the toilet and piss on the seat, floor or even on the wallpaper or roll of toilet paper ! After drops fall along their legs, trousers or shoes. That's really distgusting !
5) I don't dislike shopping, as long as I go where I want at my pace. When I have to follow my wife and wait for her to try everything, it bores me and gives me a headache afterwards. So I guess I almost fit the book's description.
6) That is also unthinkable for me. They say that to some men, farting is actually a source of entertainment where the biggest farter comes out victorious. Ditto for burping. I don't know if it's my education or just sensitivity, but I find this terribly rude and always try to be as discreet as possible so that nobody hears or smells anything (even when I am alone and at home - just the habit). Old Japanese of both sex are perfect counter examples of my (cultural) manners.
7) I wonder. Humour is far from universal. The typical jokes cited in the book are those likely to make me laugh, but neither were some cited for female humour. I guess it's a matter of culture and personality.
What do you other men out there think about that ? How does it fit for you ?