nekosasori
Occasional visitor
Forgive my verbosity; I'll attempt to be concise.
I was raised by older Japanese parents who were unconventional enough in some ways and quite traditional in others, but was educated in North America. I was ingrained with concepts of 親孝行、義理人情 and other Japanese sentiments (and only think/speak in Japanese with them).
I'm sure that I'm not alone in this either, but my personality has fundamentally been incompatible with my parents (the way I react to/deal with/feel about issues, rather than habits). I love them out of duty, but have removed myself from their influence over the years because of their issues (which obviously existed long before I came to be) and mainly their sheer negativity. Being with them has always stressed me out, but due to my conditioning, I've found it very difficult to balance my attempts at self-preservation with the obligation I feel to be closer to them (if only emotionally) and the guilt of being an 親不孝もの. Especially as they have increasing medical issues and as they grow older.
I consider myself to be a rational and pragmatic individual with a different set of issues to work on than my parents (who served as negative as well as positive role models for me as I grew up). I believe the decisions I've made for myself are the best for me under the circumstances and given the options, but my parents (over whose behaviour and feelings I have no control) continue to be a source of stress, due to the fact that I feel I need to outright (and completely) reject my Japanese nature before I can truly ignore what they write to me.
So my question to you is: how do you work through the conflict of childhood conditioning and decisions you've made as an independent person? How have you seen others work through it?
All insights will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance. :wave:
I was raised by older Japanese parents who were unconventional enough in some ways and quite traditional in others, but was educated in North America. I was ingrained with concepts of 親孝行、義理人情 and other Japanese sentiments (and only think/speak in Japanese with them).
I'm sure that I'm not alone in this either, but my personality has fundamentally been incompatible with my parents (the way I react to/deal with/feel about issues, rather than habits). I love them out of duty, but have removed myself from their influence over the years because of their issues (which obviously existed long before I came to be) and mainly their sheer negativity. Being with them has always stressed me out, but due to my conditioning, I've found it very difficult to balance my attempts at self-preservation with the obligation I feel to be closer to them (if only emotionally) and the guilt of being an 親不孝もの. Especially as they have increasing medical issues and as they grow older.
I consider myself to be a rational and pragmatic individual with a different set of issues to work on than my parents (who served as negative as well as positive role models for me as I grew up). I believe the decisions I've made for myself are the best for me under the circumstances and given the options, but my parents (over whose behaviour and feelings I have no control) continue to be a source of stress, due to the fact that I feel I need to outright (and completely) reject my Japanese nature before I can truly ignore what they write to me.
So my question to you is: how do you work through the conflict of childhood conditioning and decisions you've made as an independent person? How have you seen others work through it?
All insights will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance. :wave: