Have you had a lot of experience with American doctors? I have, and many of my friends, and more than a few family members, moreover, are doctors, and that hasn't been my experience on the whole.
Not that some aren't greedy, of course. Human beings are human beings, regardless of country, gender, race, you name it, and therefore, in my opinion, innately flawed. Certain specialties, like dermatology, in my opinion, attract them, although I don't want to defame all dermatologists.
Anyway, I don't think greed had anything to do with it. I looked it up, and the going rate for donors is $50.00 per "specimen", which is even lower than I thought. Each office visit for these kinds of specialists can be 200+, and you go for multiple, multiple, visits. It's just ego and lack of forethought.
True story, a little risque, but heck, we're all adults here. About twenty-five years ago a friend of mine, Italian-American and married to a very Mediterranean looking Italian-American, went to see a famous fertility specialist, a Norwegian, as a matter of fact. He couldn't find anything wrong, so he told her that sometimes what doesn't work with one man might work with another. He offered his services. Prettier words, but that was the general idea.
My friend asked him how he thought she'd explain a white-blonde, blue-eyed child to her husband. I mean, would he really buy the whole recessive genes bit? The unmitigated ego and gall of the man. She never went back, but it was quite an experience. Since then, nurses have to be present during exam, although they're not present during the office part of the visit. It's an object lesson in another way; if you believe doctors don't notice what you look like without your clothes on, you're deluding yourself. Knowing that makes going to them rather awkward, but there it is.
@Maciamo,
Women can specify what they want in terms of characteristics here too, including ethnicity, looks, sports oriented, college educated or not, etc., but it's all anonymous. I don't know of any country where it isn't anonymous. That would be a real disaster. Usually, from what I understand, it is medical school students who do it for extra cash. It doesn't matter if the doctor really wants to do something unethical, however. He just doesn't tell the infertile couple that it's his sperm. He tells them it's from donor X, who is anonymous. It's just not ethical. They should have had the choice even if it meant they had to wait a while for the "right" donor. Plus, you can't have so many half-siblings running around in the same area.
As for paternity tests, it doesn't arise in these situations. In the vast number of cases the couple comes in
as a couple. They both get tested. The husband knows very well it isn't going to be his biological child, so why would he ask for a paternity test? For all I know, some of these couples would have been ok with using the doctor's sperm. It's difficult for me to put myself in the position of these people and figure out what their attitudes would be because this is something I would never under any circumstances have done. I'm not judging people who did or do it, but personally it makes me shkeeve. (Mi fa schifo for Italian speakers.
) I'd rather have had sex with a man I knew, liked and was attracted to than be a party to this. Then, though, there could be all sorts of complications down the road, I suppose; it's a bond you should only have with your husband, in my opinion, and would he really keep his distance from the child? It's like a prescription for divorce.
I'm not the only one who has problems with it; a friend of mine who is, in fact, a fertility doctor, told me that's one of the things that spurred all the research into IVF and other techniques. Nowadays, from what he tells me, most of the women who use sperm banks are single women for the most part. It's rather gone out of "fashion".