Mediterraneans want to be liked, Northern Europeans prefer not to be disliked

Do you prefer trying to be liked or avoiding being disliked ?

  • Like Northern European model below

    Votes: 19 57.6%
  • Like Southern European model below

    Votes: 10 30.3%
  • Don't know

    Votes: 4 12.1%

  • Total voters
    33
I do not know if I understand the exposure, as the google translator goes crazy with these emotional issues.

I refuse to be loved, but I like it. Most people do not like while I like, very few deserve my friendship, must be noble of heart. I do not need anyone's approval and I do not care what others think of me.
 
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You know me by now, lol. I always say what I think with my big mouth, lol. Surely even if I prefer to have friends and not to have enemies, I won't compromise my views to satisfy that. One day I back a person, next day argue with the same "friend". You can guess what model I fit. :)
But my future house will be at Mediterranean sea, among more lively and emotional Southern model people. Go figure, lol.
 
I would think most people want to be liked.
 
In my professional life I guess I have a sort of "stuffy" attitude about some things. I like doing a good complete job, I like giving my customers the best service I can, I like making sure I always do the right thing and I try not to be confrontational but I don't hedge my opinion when asked for it. With that in mind I guess I don't really care if people really "like me" I'd prefer for them to respect me and not dislike me.
In my personal life I try to be respectful and loving to those who deserve respect and love and put up with those that don't. I'd like to ignore those that I don't particularly care about or have respect for but with family sometimes you just can't.
 
Peter Colett in his book Foreign Bodies mentioned that English people, along with Northern German and Nordic people were more concerned about not being disliked than being liked, while people from Southern Europe tended to me more motivated by the pursuit of approval.

Also;

A Mediterranean author in his book "Foreign Bodies" mentioned that Spanish people, along with other southern European people felt free to express them selves without a particular need for approval or for that matter fear of disapproval, while people from northern Europe tended to be more motivated by an avoidance of disapproval.
 
The North European model is more sensible.

Mainly neutral, with few hating or disliking you.:unsure:
 
I had had a hard time trying to figure out where I fit. I think that I fall into the Northern category in most cases, especially since I am very comfortable with few friends and need little in the way of socializing (but I enjoy socializing fully when I do participate)
The only time that I find myself frustrated at being disliked is when I know for a fact that I have made a big effort repeatedly to help and cooperate with a person whom I have otherwise never hurt, to no avail.

My personal ‘sheepdog” mentality often pits me against those who take advantage of others (especially manipulative coworkers). I expect to be disliked by those people, so too with others who act as social bullies, etc. That provides a decent base of people who dislike me and I am fine with that. I tend to be very decisive in “cutting someone out of the picture”, especially someone who repeatedly distorts facts and promulgates false positions. Maybe I am more Southern European on that end.


 
I would pick the north, because I prefer a few real friends rather a whole bunch of fake friends, and I don't get latin culture, for me they are very loud and very different from the European culture I am used to.
 
Hi everybody,

I am a new forum member, and I hate to disagree in my very first post, but...

I think some of these generalizations are quite skewed. In my experience, Italians and other Latins are far more likely to express their real opinions about things; so much so, that I think they are surprised if the reaction to their comments(for instance, from northerners) is a negative one. At the same time, I think that in general, they do want to be liked. I don't see those two things as contradictory.

Perhaps it's a question of confidence. They believe they WILL
 
Sorry, still have to find the edit button!

I think that in general, they believe they will be liked, or are liked, and so they are free to say what they think. I don't often hear the kind of frankness among Americans for example, that is standard in my Italian family both with family members and with people in general. One friend told me that if her family spoke like this to each other over dinner, the relationships would either be over, or strained forever. Not something I ever had to worry about.

As to Latins being "louder", again, I think that is a generalization, and even for a generalization, is not very accurate. I think it depends on the setting, both in terms of geography and social situation. I think you'd have to go a long way to find someone as reserved as a native Torinese. The behavior at the opera(where I've seen near riots ensue after a bad performance) is also quite different from the behavior at an elegant restaurant. When I used to take my teen age children to restaurants in Italy, I was constantly shushing them, as their voices and gestures were far too "loud".

Also, if you want "loud", take a bus at Heathrow with a bunch of English football fans. Yikes!:grin:
 
Hi Angela, welcome to Eupedia. You're completely right. I'm taking this tread as less scientific and more satirical one of generalization of cultural differences.
 
An interesting point about some Italians being more reserved. I am of Italian and Irish ancestry, both of which were pretty close to the old homeland connection when I was kid. All four of my grandparents were immigrants and my father particularly was extremely influenced by Italian culture, or so what I thought that was
His extended family was comprised of good, hard-working people whom I found to be very loud, assertive, argumentative, and easily agitated.
From that and what I experienced from others who had similar families, I concluded that all Italians fit that mold.
As I got a little older, I met a number of older Italians who still spoke halting English yet were so quiet and genteel that I had to rethink my entire position. Italians may very well be as different culturally from region to region as are those of the US, maybe even more so.

In general, I think that this thread brought up some good points. Of course we know that no "label" will absolutely cover any one individual let alone those of an entire region of a continent. I always try to take into account what I know of the culture of a person when I am to approach that person(s). I would definitely adjust my style of approach if I know that my audience was to be Northern European or those with a similar culture (like those of the North Midwest of the US). Not that I would not be myself, but I would refrain as much a possible from speaking very quickly, possibly not letting others finish speaking, and throwing my hands around when I speak. As much as I avoid those three actions, they do come out once in a while, usually before I realize it, then I have to catch myself LOL.
 
Sorry, still have to find the edit button!

I think that in general, they believe they will be liked, or are liked, and so they are free to say what they think. I don't often hear the kind of frankness among Americans for example, that is standard in my Italian family both with family members and with people in general. One friend told me that if her family spoke like this to each other over dinner, the relationships would either be over, or strained forever. Not something I ever had to worry about.

As to Latins being "louder", again, I think that is a generalization, and even for a generalization, is not very accurate. I think it depends on the setting, both in terms of geography and social situation. I think you'd have to go a long way to find someone as reserved as a native Torinese. The behavior at the opera(where I've seen near riots ensue after a bad performance) is also quite different from the behavior at an elegant restaurant. When I used to take my teen age children to restaurants in Italy, I was constantly shushing them, as their voices and gestures were far too "loud".

Also, if you want "loud", take a bus at Heathrow with a bunch of English football fans. Yikes!:grin:

Hi Angela, I am married to a half Northern Italian and half Flemish guy who is French.

His grandma just died, the older Latin generations were discussing how to take care of her funeral. This was not the first funeral I had been, and compare to the French (except the south), they are indeed louder. They also had some Latin ways of doing things my husband could not understand. He was born in France and all his friends had always been French. This was until he went to work overseas and met me! Some Italian people stick together but not him! For him he is French! He was born in the Northern Part of France.

Moreover his sister is married to a Spanish guy. I had lived with Anglo Saxons in Australia during secondary school, and I had attended events with different kinds of European people. From all the experiences I have had with the different Europeans by comparison I think Southern Europeans are louder!

Now of course in each and every ethnic there are loud people and quiet people. People believe in stereotypes because they are lazy to think. I am speaking from my own experiences; I don’t mean to generalize people.

Oh football fans are not a good example, I think all football fans are loud!
 
"tread"? Lebrok, are you from Brooklyn? LOL
I'm not from Brooklyn, but I sound even more ridiculous in life. :grin:
I'm Polish with fairly strong accent. I have my kids making fun of me all the time, I don't need your help. :LOL:

The loudest people I've ever heard were Germans on one plain flight. Boy, they can really laugh!
 
Thanks for the good sense of humor. I couldn't resist.
 
I'm not from Brooklyn, but I sound even more ridiculous in life. :grin:
I'm Polish with fairly strong accent. I have my kids making fun of me all the time, I don't need your help. :LOL:

The loudest people I've ever heard were Germans on one plain flight. Boy, they can really laugh!

What? HA HA HA HA HAAAR!!! :77:
[whoops, no plane here! :ashamed2:]
 

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