Question what do you look for in the opposite sex?

[Satori]

The most important thing I look for in a guy is still intelligence and....hands (he needs to have clean hands, but also nice attractive (masculine) hands) . However, first-hand impression is appearance and looks... otherwise I am not turned on, or interested. If I can't talk to him and discuss different matters I am not interested, as I get bored...I would like to know about different subjects/work-and subject-areas from him too. :blush:

I know what you mean. I'm attracted by looks first, but there needs to be intelligence and more to draw me in. That's the allure. If that's not there, then forget it! I once went out with a man who was extremely good looking, perfect build, etc., but who also ended up being dumber than a doorknob! So that is why I placed intelligence at the top of my list. Never again will I make that mistake!!

 

[Miss_apollo7]

I once went out with a man who was extremely good looking, perfect build, etc., but who also ended up being dumber than a doorknob! So that is why I placed intelligence at the top of my list. Never again will I make that mistake!!

Oh! I feel sorry for you satori!!
I have only experienced this once, when I went out with a guy who was great looking, but he was dumb too: It was a blind date and we in fact talked about something which was great news and was in the papers and he said:
it didn't interest him, and didn't know much and I found out that he didn't know much about basic stuff...NEVER AGAIN!!

My boyfriend is good looking and intelligent...:relief: I fell for his looks first and after I found out (after first date) that he was intelligent and I could learn about new subjects as well because he is in a different field of work than mine - which is great, as there are different things to talk about...

 

[Brooker]

Out of 20 points, this is how I would distribute the points to the four qualities that are most important to me....

Sweetness - 7 - A sweet girl makes me feel comfotable to be around her and makes me feel like a good guy for just being around her. Someone who is possitive and makes everything seem better because of her attitude and way of looking at things. Someone who's caring, compassionate, and tender.

Intelligence - 6 - Being able to talk to someone about the things that are important to me is what makes me feel close to someone. When someone is intelligent, they seem like more of a "real person" to me, rather than just someone who acts on instinct and goes along with the flow without thinking about situations from all angles. Introspective - she knows herself.

Attractiveness - 4 - You've got to be attracted to someone. But if she has the other qualities, she'll seem more attractive.

Adventurousness - 3 - Someone who is willing to join me in the many adventures that I want to have.

Where are you dream girl??

 

[Satori]

Brooker,

With that answer, I'm surprised you're not beating the girls off with a stick!! :blush:

 

[byp]

Brooker,With that answer, I'm surprised you're not beating the girls off with a stick!! :blush:

possible answers :
1) he is ! (but won't tell)
2) it's 2nd degree (or 3rd)
3) if not 2) then he is a *&@#~!}"*&`+?*?##!!! or even worst...

but he is not,
rather 2), no ?

 

[Brooker]

Brooker,

With that answer, I'm surprised you're not beating the girls off with a stick!! :blush:

It's not really that I have trouble meeting girls :blush: I just rarely meet girls who I really like. I don't think I'm picky, I'm just very particular about being compatible with the gal.

@byp...
Huh? :?

 

[Camui]

I like a guy that I can talk to, someone who is open to new things, and understand me decently well...a smart guy is preferable, he doesn't have to be a genius or anything...I like guys that are caring and are pretty open about the way they feel...as far as apperance I like a guy who's taller than me an I'm like 5'4"...for some reason I tend to like skinier guys...I also tend to like asians...I like a guy with nice hair cuz I like to mess around with it and nice hands and eyes are good too ^^

 

[Satori]

It's not really that I have trouble meeting girls :blush: I just rarely meet girls who I really like. I don't think I'm picky, I'm just very particular about being compatible with the gal.

I can completely relate. I'm in the same situation with respect to men. :blush:

@byp...
Huh? :?

My sentiments, exactly! I read that last night and thought, Huh?? I still have no idea what he meant. Could you explain it to us, byp? :?

 

[Brooker]

I was (briefly) watching some girly show where this group of girls were talking about what they look for in a man and they all seemed to be in such denial, or at least saying what they thought they should say in front of their friends. They were saying things like, "He should just introduce himself and be himself." "He should be kind and polite." etc. Then why do so many girls go for guys who act like they don't care about anything and treat them poorly? Not saying that all girls who say they're attracted to positive qualities are being dishonest but it seems like a lot of gals (maybe guys too, although I don't pay much attention to that) try to fool themselves by saying that they're looking for qualities that they think they should be looking for when what they're actually attracted to is something they wouldn't want to admit. If you're attracted to negative qualities, you should at least be introspective enough to realize it (or admit it).

 

[Satori]

I was (briefly) watching some girly show where this group of girls were talking about what they look for in a man and they all seemed to be in such denial, or at least saying what they thought they should say in front of their friends. They were saying things like, "He should just introduce himself and be himself." "He should be kind and polite." etc. Then why do so many girls go for guys who act like they don't care about anything and treat them poorly? Not saying that all girls who say they're attracted to positive qualities are being dishonest but it seems like a lot of gals (maybe guys too, although I don't pay much attention to that) try to fool themselves by saying that they're looking for qualities that they think they should be looking for when what they're actually attracted to is something they wouldn't want to admit. If you're attracted to negative qualities, you should at least be introspective enough to realize it (or admit it).

I think what you're describing does apply to both men and women, and it has to do with consciously wanting one thing, while being subconsciously drawn to another. For instance, a woman may truly want a man with all of those good, healthy qualities you listed above, but if she hasn't worked through her own issues of low self-esteem, rejection, etc., then she will also find herself very attracted to men who support those things--men who reinforce her belief that she isn't worthy and who will reject her eventually.

A lot of people struggle with that one. They know what they want, and then there is what they are intensely attracted to for all the wrong reasons. Another example would be someone who wants a loving and healthy relationship but who also finds themselves drawn to someone who is either married or who won't commit and is, therefore, "unavailable." Some people even go so far as to say that the reason some men are attracted to lesbians is because they want something they can't have. Same type of thing.

Just my two cents ...

 

[Brooker]

Very well put and wise thoughts Satori *rep points awarded*. I, like so many others, have been attracted to girls who I know there could never (or should never) been a possibility of a future with. But I usually realize it quickly and my attraction to her fades. I don't know if I'm the exception or if it's that I'm getting wiser in my old (young?) age, but I think I'm genuinely attracted to the qualities that will be best for me in the end. Problem is (or maybe it's not a problem), I'm quick to end a relationship (or potential one) the moment I realize that she doesn't have the qualities I'm looking for. Sometimes I wish I didn't realize it so soon so that I could at least enjoy dating the person for a little while.

 

[Satori]

Very well put and wise thoughts Satori *rep points awarded*. I, like so many others, have been attracted to girls who I know there could never (or should never) been a possibility of a future with. But I usually realize it quickly and my attraction to her fades. I don't know if I'm the exception or if it's that I'm getting wiser in my old (young?) age, but I think I'm genuinely attracted to the qualities that will be best for me in the end. Problem is (or maybe it's not a problem), I'm quick to end a relationship (or potential one) the moment I realize that she doesn't have the qualities I'm looking for. Sometimes I wish I didn't realize it so soon so that I could at least enjoy dating the person for a little while.

Thank you. :blush:
Actually, the reason I know of this is because I have been through this myself and, like you, I'm getting better at it, but it does still tend to be a problem at times. I also end things once I realize the person doesn't possess qualities I'm looking for. I think it is a matter of gaining wisdom but also of working through subconscious issues too, so that I'm less likely to attract unhealthy relationships into my life. For instance, I used to be quite the married man magnet! Still am, actually. I thought I had worked through that one, but occasionally I'll notice that I still find myself attracted to men who are otherwise involved elsewhere. It's tempting to say, "Well, maybe a brief involvement won't hurt anything," but of course the reality is it most likely would be a mistake. Even if you think it's going to be just one "experience," it almost invariably affects you more than you thought it would, and then you're in a mess! So I do know what you mean by wishing you didn't realize it so soon sometimes!

I think everyone's struggling with relationships in life. I truly don't know of many people who are involved in relationships that they find fulfilling. Probably what I have in common with married men at times. Some are in "comfortable" relationships, but not many people--single, married, or living together--are truly happy in that area of their lives. I guess I really don't worry about it as much as I used to, simply because of that fact. The most any of us can do is try to be happy with ourselves and our own lives, and then hopefully we'll be able to share that happiness with others in our lives as well. Besides, love has a way of finding us when we least expect it!

 

[Brooker]

Well as far as relationships/marriage goes, I'd rather not do it at all and be lonely than do it the wrong way and be miserable.

 

[Satori]

Well as far as relationships/marriage goes, I'd rather not do it at all and be lonely than do it the wrong way and be miserable.

That's exactly how I feel about it, and probably why I'm alone at the moment!!

 

[Brooker]

Just watch out for those married men. That could easily turn into a bad scene for you, him, his family... it's just a real dangerous game, not worth to consequences. I think you know what's up though.

 

[Satori]

Just watch out for those married men. That could easily turn into a bad scene for you, him, his family... it's just a real dangerous game, not worth to consequences. I think you know what's up though.

Oh, definitely! I was just commenting on the magnetic factor.

 

[Doc]

What does it mean where there is somebody who doesn't have any qualities that they are looking for in the opposite sex?

Doc

 

[Ma Cherie]

I look for intelligence and I also would like a guy who has a certain code of ethics. And I also look for guys who have goals. Someone who is aimless is a huge turnoff for me. As far as looks go, well as long as he has a certain level of vanity, I'm okay with him.

 

[ccg]

nothing.
the ones i like always not attracted to me.had given up.now only care about myself.

 

[Doc]

Somebody who doesn't judge me.

Doc:ramen::happy: