Question what do you look for in the opposite sex?

what does everyone look for in the opposite sex?

  • how they look

    Votes: 19 19.0%
  • money

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • humour

    Votes: 7 7.0%
  • style

    Votes: 4 4.0%
  • compassion

    Votes: 16 16.0%
  • romance

    Votes: 8 8.0%
  • fun

    Votes: 9 9.0%
  • intelligience

    Votes: 31 31.0%
  • age

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • weight

    Votes: 2 2.0%
  • kids

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • nice feet

    Votes: 4 4.0%

  • Total voters
    100
It's precisely the crudity that makes that statement a no no, and I assure you, Arvistro, were someone to express himself in that manner to women he'd be celibate forever. Even if he cleaned it up, it's better not to express yourself quite that baldly to women. It's one thing to say, I'm looking for someone "fit" and healthy. It's another thing to know someone is going to bring a scale with him or a machine to check percent body fat. What kind of nonsense is that?
Well, one thing is what you write on forums that you are preferring in short term relationships (which is body of certain type), and other thing is what you are telling to that body to get that short term relationship ;)
At least that is what I imagine. Not much experience with short term things :)

Obviously, as my own list pointed out, there are a lot of qualities that I think are important besides looks, and indeed more important than looks, but unless someone is very uninterested in sex, how can appearance be totally unimportant? If you don't have "chemistry", a good sexual partnership, it's very difficult to sustain a long term relationship. Good sex binds you together, and smooths over the inevitable "difficult" moments. Without it, in my opinion, the relationship might last for whatever other reason, but one of you at least is going to be utterly miserable.
I understand you. Good sex is important.
 
Well, one thing is what you write on forums that you are preferring in short term relationships (which is body of certain type), and other thing is what you are telling to that body to get that short term relationship ;)
At least that is what I imagine. Not much experience with short term things :)


What wisdom, my dear Arvistro. I'm impressed. :) You need to share it with the clueless among your male friends.

I have no experience with short term things either. I'm far too old-fashioned and romantic. My comments are on some matters based on observation and confidences from others.

Where marriage and other long term relationships are concerned, if the "chemistry" isn't there, don't commit. It's not fair to the other person if nothing else.
 
"The right energy" would be my vote if it was an option. If the energy is right, everything else will fall into place. Yes, many refer to it as "chemistry", but I consider it being a lot more than just that.
 
How would you rationalize if a woman finds a man attractive despite he humiliated and cheated her several times? If our feelings were rational and were in line with our expected standards then these wouldn't be "feelings"..

Most of our feelings are subconscious, and it's been assumed by many psychoanalysts we often seek role models in our life. If someone's father was an authoritarian person and used psychical harassment to form his daughter, then she lately will look for a guy subconsciously who resembles his dad, because in her mind He was someone to admire and obey in order to survive, in her deeper mind this works as a "program" and can't be changed only by months/years of psychoanalytical courses.
 
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And at the same time it depends a lot on a mother's connection to her son how open, able and ready he will be in adulthood to allow himself to form an emotional connection with women.
 
How would you rationalize if a woman finds a man attractive despite he humiliated and cheated her several times? If our feelings were rational and were in line with our expected standards then these wouldn't be "feelings" [Edit to remove inappropriate language] This was a less extreme actually.

Most of our feelings are subconscious, and it's been assumed by many psychoanalysts we often seek role models in our life. If someone's father was an authoritarian person and used psychical harassment to form his daughter, then she lately will look for a guy subconsciously who resembles his dad, because in her mind He was someone to admire and obey in order to survive, in her deeper mind this works as a "program" and can't be changed only by months/years of psychoanalytical courses.

Clean up the language. This isn't a bar where you're hanging out with your buddies.
 
Most of our feelings are subconscious, and it's been assumed by many psychoanalysts we often seek role models in our life. If someone's father was an authoritarian person and used psychical harassment to form his daughter, then she lately will look for a guy subconsciously who resembles his dad,
More likely she is genetically like her mother, who picked a brute for a husband. In such case, daughter will be attracted to brute types too. Big part of sexual attraction and orientations is hardwired. We are born with it, and can't change it. On top of it there is bigger statistical chance that violent people congregate in same communities like slams or trailer parks, and have more violent friends than ordinary people. This increases their daughters merring violent men. And also by psychological point of view same characters and personalities create more attraction. In many of these marriages both parties are abusive and violent.



because in her mind He was someone to admire and obey in order to survive, in her deeper mind this works as a "program" and can't be changed only by months/years of psychoanalytical courses.
Psychological mumbo-jumbo. Typical freudian conclusions coming from not understanding human mind. As their could be a psychological effect of victim bonding to abuser on some level, it is far away from causing sexual attraction and marrying same type as abuser as father.
 
One more proof of how men and women are hard wired differently.

Ashley Madison is an online site for "cheaters". In other words, for people just looking for some sex outside their relationship or marriage.

There are 31 million male subscribers, and the site says there are about 5.5 million female subscribers.

Except there aren't. Hackers have gotten into the internal data and claim that most of those female subscribers are fakes, created by bots. Almost none of the supposed female subscribers actually respond to any approaches or make any themselves.

Surprise, surprise.

Ten to one the creators are men.

"The data showed 20 million men had checked messages on Ashley Madison, compared with only 1,492 women. For the chat system, 11 million men logged on but only 2,409 women did so, Gizmodo found.The Gizmodo team also found that many of the IP addresses for females could be traced back to Ashley Madison itself and that the most popular female last name in the database was "an extremely unusual one, which matched the name of a woman who worked at the company about 10 years ago."
The report said that because women did not pay to join, the only way to get a true sense of the number of active females was to know how many paid to delete their accounts—a number just over 12,000."

12,000 versus 31 million. Need one say more?

http://phys.org/news/2015-08-cheater-website-ashley-madison-women.html#nRlv
 
What exactly is this saying other than women being much smarter than to put their information out on a site proving they are willing to be unfaithful?
 
This is going to be something that differs from person to person, for me personally, there is 3 factors that are important, intelligence definitely you want to be able to have a conversation with the person you date/eventually marry, looks are important too don't get me wrong you have to be attracted to the woman you date, but keep in mind looks do fade, you won't be as good looking as you did in your 20's. So for me it's intelligence, looks and character as the three, you need to be able to able to get along and willing to accept the other persons interests and passions.
 
More likely she is genetically like her mother, who picked a brute for a husband. In such case, daughter will be attracted to brute types too. Big part of sexual attraction and orientations is hardwired. We are born with it, and can't change it. On top of it there is bigger statistical chance that violent people congregate in same communities like slams or trailer parks, and have more violent friends than ordinary people. This increases their daughters merring violent men. And also by psychological point of view same characters and personalities create more attraction. In many of these marriages both parties are abusive and violent.

But are sexual preferences really hardwired or merely constructed by association then? Can hardwiring explain bi-racial couples for example? Or why siblings, of the same parents and raised in the same household, can’t quite agree on their 'type' [/preference] for sexual partners?
 
Ethnicity/culture – Is first. Even as a teenager I didn’t have any interest in boys, later men, who weren’t Jewish (Ashkenazi), Italian or a type of French. Or whose ancestry consisted mainly of such ancestry.

Intelligence – being rather intelligent myself I have always sought that. One can only hold a conversation with themselves, despite the blank-eyed people also in the room, for so long before it becomes tedious.

Creativity/originality – I am creative, naturally artistic. I prefer someone who has some creativity in their bones. And as important is ‘originality’ or can think for themselves. If I wanted someone to recite scripted information [e.g. the news] at me I’d turn on the BBC.

The rest, by order:
All-round Personality [compassion, etc.]
Career
Family life
Appearance – you can very easily change your appearance; just look at what makeup artists can do. But can you as easily change what [personality, mannerism, etc.] really counts?
 
More likely she is genetically like her mother, who picked a brute for a husband. In such case, daughter will be attracted to brute types too. Big part of sexual attraction and orientations is hardwired. We are born with it, and can't change it. On top of it there is bigger statistical chance that violent people congregate in same communities like slams or trailer parks, and have more violent friends than ordinary people. This increases their daughters merring violent men. And also by psychological point of view same characters and personalities create more attraction. In many of these marriages both parties are abusive and violent.


This caught my attention. So I'll ask the questions. Is sexual attraction really hardwired then? Or is it merely constructed via association?

Both 'hardwiring' and 'growing up with it' can contribute to someone marrying an abusive/brutish spouse. While even siblings can have very different preferences.


I said above I only really had interest for a certain ethnicity/culture. Sure there's some connection. I am of Ashkenazi ancestry (maternally) & dad is of French/Italian ancestry. But I always viewed that 'interest' as more due to an association - given where I grew up & those I grew up amongst - than any sort of 'hardwiring'. Between the man, mostly of Ashkenazi ancestry, I have been involved with for years & dad the only thing they truly share is both are physically big men [tall & broad] and their intelligence. Personality, careers, mannerism, ethnicity, etc. are all different.

But a British friend, for another example, grew up in Japan. Would it be association or hardwiring why, even after moving back to England, he chose to marry a Japanese woman?
 
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This caught my attention. So I'll ask the questions. Is sexual attraction really hardwired then? Or is it merely constructed via association?

Both 'hardwiring' and 'growing up with it' can contribute to someone marrying an abusive/brutish spouse. While even siblings can have very different preferences.


I said above I only really had interest for a certain ethnicity/culture. Sure there's some connection. I am of Ashkenazi ancestry (maternally) & dad is of French/Italian ancestry. But I always viewed that 'interest' as more due to an association - given where I grew up & those I grew up amongst - than any sort of 'hardwiring'. Between the man, mostly of Ashkenazi ancestry, I have been involved with for years & dad the only thing they truly share is both are physically big men [tall & broad] and their intelligence. Personality, careers, mannerism, ethnicity, etc. are all different.

But a British friend, for another example, grew up in Japan. Would it be association or hardwiring why, even after moving back to England, he chose to marry a Japanese woman?
In this context, hardwired means that this knowledge sits in DNA. DNA builds the your brain, creates main architecture of your brain with primal instincts. If it comes to sexual attractiveness of all the people on earth, I'm sure the hourglass body shape for women, or muscular statue of men, and nice smooth skin, red lips, young look, is hardwired. Many more things too, but it is hard to be certain at our current knowledge base.
 
For me it would really be more about how well I am connected with the opposite sex, if it's only one way then It's not very easy/can't do it to be honest. Someone who is fun and can connect very well. I mostly look for Europeans really since I can learn something from them every time so yeah I would say intelligence, compassion,humor and romance for my opinion.

btw Cute is a great bonus too
 
What do I look for in the opposite sex? Beauty, intelligence, culture, honesty, and a big butt :)

I just recently met a girl that has all of these attributes, and she's Italian too (fluent in the language too), from Ponza. :heart:
 
What do I look for in the opposite sex? Beauty, intelligence, culture, honesty, and a big butt :)

I just recently met a girl that has all of these attributes, and she's Italian too, from Ponza. :heart:

Nice one man that sounds great man, hopefully it will go well with her :good_job:
 
For me, i think it's very progressive. First, i have to be physically attracted. Secondly, humour, culture, are a must have for merely anoybody i believe. The last but not least, we have to be very reciprocal to each other, so both see to the other something that we dont ( or dont want [ because only attracted to that person ] to ) see in other people.
 
Looks - red hair. My "type", 1st had dark auburn hair.

Intelligence
Culture/Personality
Job/Goals
 
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