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You've been in Britain too long when...

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  1. You start to accept queuing (standing in line) as a way of life.

  2. You routinely order rounds of pints when you walk into a pub with friends or colleagues.

  3. After a big night out you find yourself looking for an Indian restaurant, not a 24-hour McDonald's.

  4. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

  5. You go outside to 'take in the sun' whenever there is a bit of sunshine.

  6. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

  7. You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or "Innit?", and start every conversation with 'Hiya' or 'Alright'.

  8. You think that wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

  9. You think that coming to work with a hangover is entirely acceptable and indeed expected at least once a week.

  10. You think other countries electrical plugs are tiny and fiddly, and probably not very safe.

  11. You don't rush to the front seats on the upper level of a double-decker bus anymore.

  12. You enjoy watching snooker competitions on BBC2.

  13. You know what a grammar school is and know the difference between a public school and a state school.

  14. You know exactly to which social class you belong, and what social class other people belong just from their accent, attitude, opinions and way of dressing.

  15. You don't say that something is 'nice' anymore but 'lovely', and not that it is 'really good' but 'absolutely fantastic'.

  16. You can understand anything a "Northerner" is saying.

  17. You can recognise the theme tune to "Eastenders".

  18. You begin to take clever British advertising for granted.

  19. You have an opinion on whether the UK should join the euro or even quit the EU altogether.

  20. You begin to describe people you dislike as "twats", and your preferred expletive is "bollocks!"

  21. You ask other people in which part of the world they went backpacking during their 'gap year'.

  22. You know you own weight in stones.

  23. You have taken up playing cricket, field hockey, badminton, golf and/or rugby.

  24. You have your favourite holiday spot in southern France or in Spain and plan to buy a house there when you retire.

  25. You automatically book a package trip to Hungary when you need dental surgery.

  26. You start referring to the French as the 'Frogs' and the Germans as the 'Krauts'.

  27. You fancy eating Fish'n Chips wrapped in an old newspaper as a snack on a cold evening.

  28. When travelling overseas you intuitively look for a Bed & Breakfast rather than a hotel.

  29. You think that all countries should replace as many road junctions as possible by roundabouts.

Check also:

You've been in France too long when...

You've been in Belgium too long when...

You've been in Germany too long when...

You've been in Italy too long when...

You've been in Spain too long when...

You've been in Japan too long when...

Worn British flag (© Derek R. Audette - Fotolia.com)

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